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Thoughts

Flashback

SUMMARY: Ichigo always thought that Byakuya hated him. So when Ichigo finds out what he said to Tsukishima – that Byakuya would not hesitate to kill any enemy of Ichigo's – Ichigo decides to find out how Byakuya really feels about him.

WARNINGS: ByaIchi, explicit yaoi, side pairing Renji x Rukia

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach, it is the property of Tite Kubo.


A/N - Thanks to everyone who favourited and/or followed this story and/or me! I have 9 favourites and 14 followers for this story already!


It had been a couple of months since Ichigo and Byakuya first started their relationship. In that time, Ichigo had managed to see Byakuya twice by finding reasons to visit the soul society, the first time for a few hours, but the second for almost a week. Byakuya had taken some time off during that week as well, and they had spent a fair amount of time together. Ichigo had told Byakuya about what it was like growing up being able to see spirits but not understanding why and Byakuya told Ichigo about his childhood as the future head of the Kuchiki clan.

For the first time, Byakuya had come up with a reason to visit the World of the Living, by offering to take a message to Urahara. Now that the truth behind Aizen and the Visored had been revealed, the relationship between the seireitei and Urahara was better, although the former captain of squad 12 still remained in his shop in Karakura. Byakuya had used this message as an excuse to visit Ichigo, and the two of them were currently lying on Ichigo's bed. Byakuya was lying on his back while Ichigo rested his head on Byakuya's shoulder. Their legs were tangled and Ichigo had his arms around Byakuya's waist while one of Byakuya's hands rested on Ichigo's arm and the other played with the redhead's hair.

"I graduate in a few weeks", Ichigo said.

"Really?" Byakuya said. "I hadn't realised you were that close to finishing school."

"What, do you want someone younger?" Ichigo teased, lifting his head to look at the older male.

"That's not what I meant, I just hadn't realised how long we've been together, likely as we see each other so rarely."

"Will you come to my graduation?"

"As much as I would like to, I cannot take time off, and I doubt that I will be able to find another excuse in the next few weeks."

"Okay then", Ichigo said, slightly downcast. He turned his head away but Byakuya placed two fingers under his chin and turned Ichigo's face back to look at his own.

"Now that you are graduating, you could always visit more often."

"With what excuse?" Ichigo sighed.

"You could always just tell everyone we're together, then we wouldn't need an excuse", Byakuya said.

"I told you, I don't want people to know yet!" Ichigo responded, getting annoyed. He stood up from the bed and Byakuya sat up as well, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

"So I suppose the suggestion that you live with me in the seireitei will also receive a negative response?" he asked, standing up.

"I have family and friends who depend on me! And a life down here! I can't just leave it all behind..." Ichigo said trailing off.

"Yes, but as a captain I cannot come and go from the World of the Living often, nor can I take large amounts of time off merely to come and see you."

"I didn't realise seeing me was such a chore!"

"That isn't what I meant", Byakuya sighed. "I just meant that it is easier for you to visit me than the other way around. And I was hoping that when you graduated you would consider becoming a full shinigami not just a substitute."

"Why? Does it embarrass you to be dating someone who's only a substitute? I'm not a real shinigami after all, right?"

"Ichigo –"

"Just get out." Byakuya realised that Ichigo wasn't going to listen to him, so he moved to the window. Before he left he turned back towards the teen:

"Just so you know, I'm not the one who is embarrassed, unless your desire for secrecy is for another reason. And what exactly do you plan on doing after you graduate anyway?" He didn't wait for an answer, merely jumping into the air and opening a senkaimon with his zanpakuto. Ichigo stood in his room – what do I plan on doing? he asked himself. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm the one embarrassed, but...if people knew...I already get enough attention because of my hair, I don't need more to deal with, even if I can handle them...And what should I do after I graduate? Is Byakuya right? Perhaps I should find a way to talk to Rukia, she can usually help...besides, she might even know about us by now, we don't really hide it around Byakuya's house, and the servants may have told her by now or she may have even found out for herself...I'll call her and talk to her...


Ichigo sat on the grass outside of his school. With him were his friends from school, Chad, Orihime, Uryu, Tatsuki, Mizuiro and Keigo, as well as Rukia and Renji.

"I can't believe we're finally done", Keigo said, leaning back on the grass.

"You sound like you weren't expecting to graduate", Uryu said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"That's not what I meant...so, what's everyone doing after this?" Keigo replied, changing the subject.

"Well, I got accepted into a fashion school in Tokyo", Orihime said.

"I'm just going to stay working at the dojo, they've offered me a permanent job, although I do have to keep up my position as one of the top karate practitioners in the country, at least at first", Tatsuki said.

"That shouldn't be hard for you", Ichigo noted. "What about you Chad, are you still going to travel around for a while?"

"Yes, especially after what happened a few months ago", he responded. Everyone knew he was referring to the events surrounding the Fullbringers.

"We're going to college!" Keigo almost-shouted, wrapping an arm around Mizuiro's neck.

"You don't have to get so close Asano-san", Mizuiro said, not looking up from his phone.

"Are you moving away from Karakura then?" Ichigo asked.

"Don't all colleges involve moving away? There aren't any in Karakura after all", Uryu noticed. "My college is pretty far away as well."

"Well, yeah, but that's the point, isn't it?" Keigo responded. "To get away from parents – and sisters", he added under his breath.

"What about you, Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked.

"Yeah, no-one knows what you're doing, and now we've graduated. It's not like you're going to keep that job with Unagiya-san are you?" Keigo asked.

"Already quit", Ichigo replied. "To be honest, I think I've known for a while what I was going to do, I just needed a...a push", he continued.

"That's a bit cryptic isn't it?" Tatsuki asked. Ichigo just looked at her.

"Is it? Well, to be honest I didn't think it was going to work, but now I think I've sorted it out, especially after the whole Fullbring thing...I leave in a few days."

"Leave?" Uryu asked.

"No, only a few days, but Ichigo!" a whiny voice sounded. Ichigo looked at Keigo, who continued: "I thought I could convince you to come to college with us!"

"Like that was ever going to happen", Rukia muttered. Only Renji heard her from where she was half leaning on his shoulder and he smiled down at her.

"Well, remember that we know something they don't", he pointed out.

"I know, and I suppose it's only so obvious to us because we're around him so much, but Ichigo was always going to..."

"Ichigo!" Keigo shouted again.

"Yes Keigo, a few days!" Ichigo almost shouted back. "So if you all want to come and see me off, I will be leaving on Thursday evening, okay?" He stood up and walked away, leaving his friends to discuss what was going on.

After a few minutes of discussion, Orihime looked towards Rukia and Renji, who had gotten gigai to come and see Ichigo and the others graduate.

"Do you know what's going on?" she asked them.

"Well, yeah, but we're sworn to secrecy", Rukia said mysteriously.

"Just be at Ichigo's place on Thursday, you'll soon realise where he's going", Renji added, just as cryptically. He stood up and offered a hand to Rukia and they walked off in the same direction as Ichigo, hand in hand.

"Do you think they're together?" Orihime wondered.

"Who cares? What about Ichigo?" Keigo asked.


On Thursday evening, the group of friends met again outside Ichigo's house. Yuzu and Karin were standing outside, as were Renji and Rukia, no longer in their gigai. From inside they could hear shouting:

"My son, he's becoming a man! All we need now is for you to find a girl, and bring her home so I can see her!"

"Shut up you pervert, I'm not going to be bringing any girls home, am I?"

"Not even for me?!"

"Pervert! Now would you stop being so over-dramatic, you make it sound like I'm dying or something!" Ichigo stormed outside of the house towards the group of people gathered outside, dressed in his unique shihakusho with a bag slung over his back.

"You're going to the soul society?" Uryu asked.

"Yeah, well, I guess I belong there more than here now I'm a shinigami, besides, it's not like I can take a college course in fighting Hollows right?"

"So, you're really leaving then?" Keigo asked, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

"Yes, Keigo, I'm going to the soul society to be a full shinigami. If I went to college I'd be leaving anyway, so what's the difference?"

"I think he wanted you to come to our college", Mizuiro replied.

"Bye onii-chan", Yuzu said, hugging him. "Visit soon?"

"Sure", Ichigo replied, hugging both his sisters.

"Oh, my son is so grown up!" Isshin continued, finally emerging from the house.

"Dad, stop being so over-dramatic, I talked to you about this two weeks ago, and you knew it was today I was going", Ichigo grumbled, sidestepping easily when Isshin leaped forwards to hug him. Everyone watched as the man hit the floor, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"We better get going if you want to get there at the right time of day", Rukia reminded him.

"Well, I'm off then", Ichigo said. "Have fun at college and travelling and everything guys, I'll be back for a visit at some point okay?" Everyone waved him off as he jumped onto the top of the house, Rukia and Renji following him. Rukia opened the senkaimon for them.

"So, what time of day will it be?" Ichigo asked quietly.

"Middle of the night, like you asked for", Renji replied. "Captain Ukitake still thinks he owes you after the whole thing with your combat pass."

"I guess I won't be needing that anymore, right?" Ichigo asked.

"Do you want to get rid of it?" Rukia asked as the senkaimon opened in front of them. Ichigo didn't respond, merely turned back to wave at everyone one last time before stepping out of the World of the Living.

Rukia and Renji followed him and the three moved through the dangai swiftly. On the way Ichigo turned to them:

"So, what about my body? My Fullbring means that this is my actual body, but I need to be a soul right?" Ichigo asked the two lieutenants.

"Your body becomes a soul when you go into the soul society. Normally when you go back to the World of the Living you would get your body back, but not anymore...not if you definitely go through with this", Rukia replied.

"Yeah, you don't have to, I mean you'll need a gigai to visit your friends and family", Renji added.

"It's not like I can't get one from Urahara, but how will my body actually become a soul?"

"It will happen on its own if you stay here for more than three or four months, and you'll probably be longer than that", Rukia responded.

The three of them reached the end of the path and jumped out. They came through the main senkaimon into the seireitei, where several members of squad 13 were waiting to greet them. As promised, it was the middle of the night.

"Like I said, Captain Ukitake feels guilty about everything that happened", Rukia said, explaining the presence of the other members of her squad. "They won't reveal your presence here though", she added.

"Okay then", Ichigo replied.

"Well, follow us then", Renji said. He and Rukia walked Ichigo through the seireitei to his destination. As they stood outside, Renji spoke again: "Are you sure about this?"

"How many times have you asked me that Renji?" Ichigo asked in response.

"I know, it's just...like Rukia said, you only have a few months before you'll be a soul permanently, and it'll probably take you longer than that."

"I did figure it would, especially some bits. But I want to do this. Are you sure you and Rukia can keep this a secret from everyone? It could be a while after all."

"We're sure", Rukia replied.

"Okay then. Well, see you when I'm done then", Ichigo said, waving to them as he turned and walked towards the building.

"Guess he's sure then", Renji said.

"Come on, he's already good enough to be done, everything will be fine", Rukia said. She dismissed her squad members and the two of them walked off through the streets of the seireitei. "We'll be seeing him again soon enough", she added, leaning against Renji slightly as they walked.

"I guess we will", Renji agreed, hugging her slightly as they continued walking.


A/N - Please read and review!

Next Chapter - Byakuya finds out what Ichigo has been doing!