"Would you care to hear about our desserts?" the waitress asked at the end of the meal.
"Yes," he said, "No," she said. Cuddy looked at House and then nodded in agreement.
"We have three desserts tonight, dark chocolate covered strawberries and cherries, bananas foster and lemon sorbet."
Again without consulting Cuddy, House spoke for the both of them, "The chocolate covered strawberries and cherries, with two glasses of your best champagne." The waitress nodded.
"House!"
"What? We're not paying for it."
"Exactly."
House rolled his eyes, "Just enjoy it."
She covered her mouth and yawned deeply, "I don't know if it's the wine, the vodka or the jet lag, but I'm exhausted. What time is it?"
House chuckled, "It's only seven o'clock."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Long day, and it's ten o'clock our time."
A short time later, the waitress returned with the dessert and the wine and again House raised his glass in a toast.
"What are we toasting this time?"
He thought momentarily, studying her and very honestly, quietly, he looked at her and said, "You."
She looked at him in confusion, "Me?"
"Don't make me say it again, must be the jet lag," he raised his glass a little higher, touched the rim of his glass with hers and took a long drink. Blushing, she sipped hers before taking one of the strawberries and sinking her teeth into.
House watched her as she gazed at the couples on the dance floor. He saw the look in her eye, the hint of a smile and the longing look in her eye.
He took a deep breath and sighed, rolling his eyes a bit, "Do you want to dance?" She turned to look at him and glanced at his leg before looking him in the eye.
He looked at her, trying to disregard the pity in her eyes, "I can't do the jive, but I can handle a slow song."
Not knowing why, perhaps the bit of alcohol made her do it, she nodded in agreement and the two approached the dance floor. The slow song started, House hooked his cane to his left arm and took her hand in his, "This isn't a junior high dance, you can step a little closer to me," he said, noting the large gap between the two of them.
Cuddy eyed him, smiled and stepped closer, and the two swayed to the music. As the song reached its midway point, Cuddy relaxed and placed her head on his shoulder. House adjusted his hand from her waist to her back and without realizing it, he smiled.
"How long have we known each other?" she asked, not lifting her head from his shoulder.
He thought for a minute, "I guess if you count college, more than twenty years now."
"So, why can't you be this nice more often?"
"Hey, who said I was being nice?"
She smiled, "Sorry, wouldn't want to ruin your rep, it's just…" she was almost afraid to say it, afraid he'd take offense and go back to the table, "This is pleasant."
"You did not just call me pleasant."
"And yet you haven't run off yet."
"Maybe I'm trying to woo you."
She turned her head on his shoulder so that her nose now faced his neck, "Woo me?" She sighed, realizing where this was going, "You don't seriously think I'd marry you for a stupid bet."
"We could have it annulled on Monday."
"It would cost more to get married than you'd win from Wilson."
"It's not the money, it's the winning that counts."
"I have had entirely too much to drink if I'm even remotely considering this," she looked him in the eye, shaking her head, "I can't House."
"What if I got down on one knee?"
"You'd never get up."
He chuckled, not in the least bit offended, "So I have to be pleasant, but you don't?"
"We don't have a marriage license or anything. What would my family say? What would the staff at work say? If anyone ever found out…"
"You really have had too much to drink, haven't you?" he said smiling at her unabashedly as he watched her run through the possibilities, "We get the marriage license online and it's fifty-five dollars, or we could go in person; they're open until midnight. The marriage commissioner can perform the ceremony for fifty bucks or we could get Elvis to officiate."
"You've been planning this."
"No, just looked it up online when we got here."
The music stopped playing and they stood there staring at each other. Another slow song began and they remained on the dance floor, dancing but only just, both caught up in their own thoughts.
"Come on Cuddy, it would be the best prank ever pulled."
"And what would I get out of this little arrangement?"
"Bragging rights," he quipped.
Wrong choice off words, apparently; her demeanor quickly changed, "I can't."
"I'll even buy you a ring."
"No."
"A week of extra clinic hours."
"Wow, you're offering clinic hours? A month at least. Why do you really want to get married?"
House went in for the kill, "Haven't you ever wanted to know what marriage is like?"
That did it, the look on her face spoke volumes and for a fraction of a second, he felt guilty for having asked, seeing the pain and want in her eyes. She said nothing, afraid to admit that she had always wondered, had always hoped, had always dreamed she'd be married by now.
House stepped back from her and kneeled down on one knee. With a devious smile and a twinkle in his eye he asked, "Lisa Cuddy, will you marry me?"
Before she could answer, the other couples on the dance floor stopped and turned to look at the pair. House's eyes lit up and Cuddy blushed, "I am so going to regret this. I want a real wedding, no drive-thrus, no Elvis or Dolly Partons and it has to be annulled on Monday. A ring, flowers and pictures so I can blackmail you later."
"So, will you marry me?"
She nodded, unable to keep herself from laughing at the absurdity of it all, "Yes," and the entire restaurant erupted into applause.
House stood and Cuddy tipped her chin down in embarrassment and much to her horror, they soon heard everyone at the surrounding tables begin to tap their glasses with various utensils and from the back, they heard someone shout out, "Kiss her you fool!"
Much to Cuddy's amusement and to her amazement, she watched as the unflappable House blushed in embarrassment, took her head into his hands, looked her in the eye and smiled sheepishly before he lightly kissed her on the lips. He then led her back to the table where they sat down and finished off the strawberries and cherries and gulped down the last of the champagne.
"Are we really going to do this?" she asked. He nodded.
The waitress approached the table, handing over the bill, "Congratulations! You make a beautiful couple."
Feeling slightly tipsy and a bit giggly, Cuddy thanked her and House choked a bit on his champagne.
A/N: Told ya this was a crackfic and the ridiculousness has only just begun!
