A/N: Snape's pretty well known as a petty dickweed who bullies children to make up for years of abuse because he was a beta-ass bitch in school. Now, you've probably seen stories where Harry gets revenge on Snape, but what if events happened that led to Harry becoming almost exactly like James? Will Snape truly be happy that Harry is exactly the kind of person he thought he would be?
Without further ado:
Chapter 2
Harry Bullies Snape.
Backing a wizard into a corner is never the best idea unless you're prepared to kill or obliviate them. Magic can do so many sneaky and underhanded things that loose ends need to be taken care of quickly with extreme prejudice.
Thus starving, beating, humiliating but never killing a young Harry Potter wasn't the best idea.
One night in mid-july a 6 year old harry was lying in his 'bed' in the cupboard. He was hungry. He was bruised from both working and his 'uncle.' He was nearly broken, but he was also a wizard.
While he didn't mean to, Harry never felt bad for the actions he committed that night. The life-force was ripped from the rest of the people living there. Healing him, Improving him.
When it was discovered by a panicked Dumbledore checking house after the biggest surge of dark magic seen in a long time, Harry was the only living being in the house.
Dumbledore had a hard time figuring out what had happened. Accidental magic this violent had never been recorded.
Was it his scar? Was it purely defensive? Would Harry be inclined to do something like this on purpose?
As conflicted as Dumbledore was he hid the evidence and planned where to put Harry now.
As Harry waved goodbye to Sirius Black as well as Ted, Andromeda and Nym Tonks he thought about where he had been living the the last 6 years. Dumbledore had apparently found a distant memory of Harry's mother screaming "Peter you god-damn traitor!" when Voldemort attacked them during a legemancy scan of Harry's mind on the night he was removed from his relatives' house.
During the following court cases, Sirius was made a free man, received official apologies and received pardons for the crimes he had committed. (Being an unregistered Animagus was the smallest. He had killed off the entire lines of a few dark families and committed war crimes that probably could have landed him in azkaban had he been tried correctly.)
He ended up moving in with Harry, Andromeda and Nym to avoid the depressing manner of his ancestors. He would have changed his name, but he found it too important and ironic to use their political power and money towards muggleborn and non-human rights.
As for why Harry called his sister Nym, Harry still shuddered as he remembered all the noogies and other punishment dished out by his older sister whenever he mentioned her full name. By this point he didn't even think it.
The next year would be very interesting. Hogwarts was a place he both looked forward to and dreaded the idea of.
Nym had given him a lot of warnings and advice. Especially in regards to Snape. (Harry assumed she was looking for some sort of vicarious revenge. If Snape was truly as big of a git as described Harry wouldn't care.)
The door to his cabin opened and a red haired boy took one look at him and fled. Harry had punched the boy once or twice when he had annoyed him growing up, so it seemed that the impression was made.
A few minutes later the older brothers of Ron walked in. "Harry Lee Jordan's Got an awesome pet giant tarantula near the middle of the train! Come check it out!"
"Sure thing! Maybe we'll even get a chance to prank Ron with it." Harry mused as they walked. The older twins giggling like loons.
Harry and the twins got on like a orphanage on fire. It started with the twins putting a laxative in one of Harry's drinks while he was eating, and finding out that Harry had saw them and swapped it back without their notice.
Since then they had taught him a lot about both magic and pranking on breaks. In return Harry had helped 'smuggle' in goods from outside of the school.
Sirius had made sure to encourage Harry's pranking behavior, and had turned a blind eye to anything he did under the pretense of 'pranks.'
"Harry Potter" Mcgonagall called to have Harry sorted.
Harry stepped up to the hat and put it on. It wasn't on his head for more than a second before it yelled out "Slytherin!" causing Snape to begin choking violently on his food and Mcgonagall to make a strangled, choking noise.
"Hahaha! Just kidding Gryffindor!"
"If it isn't our resident celebrity… Potter!" Snape started. Spitting Harry's name like it was poison. Harry was the splitting image of his father. Harry acted like his father. This was the perfect way to get revenge.
"What would I get if I added a powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Snape questioned quickly. Best to overwhelm him. Maybe Harry would even cry!
"A mess. You'd need to add extra water and stir it twelve times counter clockwise and twice clockwise over medium heat to get an Draught of Living Death. I guess you're as bad with potions as you are with cleaning." Harry answered with a sneer.
"DETENTION! YOU BRAT I'LL-"
"Cry to your Mom? Oh wait, she needed to date-rape a muggle and die to spawn you."
Snape pulled out his wand and went to cast a cutting curse and potentially murder Harry. However Harry had been getting up in Snapes face and grabbed his wand as he drew it. Harry snapped it in two and threw it over his shoulder as snape reached into his robes for something.
Harry then punched Snape in the nose. As Snape went to open his mouth and say something Harry hit him in the mouth and broke his nose with a jab cross combo. Snape fell to his knees and started crying.
"Man, you're really petty, you know that? I bet you're still a virgin." as Snape started crying harder and curled into the fetal position Harry knew he hit a nerve.
"It's hardly a surprise. You're ugly as hell, and don't seem to know how to clean yourself. It's so easy to see why my mom picked my dad over you I don't know how you ever had hope." Harry then kicked snape in the ribs twice and walked out of the room.
A/N: This is one story that I think I'll follow up in the future. The idea of Harry being an asshole to most of the bad guys is pretty funny to me.
Leave a review and let me know what you think.
Until next time,
-KishinoKurobi
