Izaya saved Kasuka…
That Louse saved Kasuka.
Shizuo watched the footage on tv yet again and watched the determined look on Izaya's face as he leaped in front of the van, saving his brother. He paused and looked at the informant closer.
This is impossible.
That…that… FLEA cares nothing about anyone but himself!
Sighing, he shut off the old feed and smoked through another cigarette. "Kasuka, you should be getting some sleep."
"…" The actor stood behind him staring at his reflection in the screen.
"What is it?"
"Izaya… isn't actually that bad…"
Shizuo turned to respond when his brother grabbed the remote. A woman wept on the screen, holding a young boy in her arms.
"He's going through such tough chemo that I have to use most of my paycheck. If it wasn't for Mr. Orihara, my boy would not have been able to go through his surgery today and I wouldn't be holding a healthy young man in my arms. Thank you so much Izaya-san!" She sobbed harder, her son smiling as he hugged her, "I'm just… so thankful… That man is an angel…"
Shizuo stared at the screen and felt one eye twitch. A what? Was the woman daft?
"You heard it here. First an actor, now a woman on the streets with no name. Truly it doesn't matter who it is, Orihara Izaya is selfless."
Selfless his ass, Shizuo couldn't believe his ears.
"…brother…"
Shizuo looked back to watch his brother standing behind him.
He couldn't be wrong. The Louse was nothing but a pain to society. He was a burden. He caused agony. He caused suffering. He took pride in that. He…
Well…
Technically he had never truly seen the man do any of that. Izaya had always merely hinted at it.
"He's a bastard, Kasuka…"
"...maybe he wants you to believe that…"
The cigarette in his mouth fell out of his mouth as Shizuo froze. What… but…that was impossible. Every time that Shizuo was aggravated, annoyed, pissed, hating himself and everything in his life; that scumbag showed up… He always ended up having everything change around him afterwards too. Time off, losing that job he actually had hated… Oh shit, of course…
"I'm going out for a bit." He grabbed his vest and left his apartment, heading down the street wearily. He hadn't been too popular before, but now it seemed as if the world was just plain pissed with him.
A group of girls whispered from nearby. "Doesn't he chase my sweet Iza-baby?"
"If by yours you mean my beautiful devil, Izaya-chan, yeah."
The girls glared at one another as their friend smirked darkly, "can we focus on how that monster tries to attack Iza-chan?"
Shizuo turned as the trio started to follow him and gave them all a glare, "you mind?"
"Bastard!"
"You don't care for anyone at all, do you?"
"Look!" Shizuo rubbed at his fast growing headache as he spoke, "he's been a pest for-"
"He saved a boy from cancer!"
"The kid got surgery, whether or not the flea-"
"Monster!"
"Jerk!"
The women continued and his headache only grew.
"Bastard!"
"Jackass!"
Shizuo felt himself shaking by this point. Maybe if it was the first time this had happened he wouldn't care so much… or the second or third time…
No, this was at least the thousandth time. Now he remembered why he hated leaving his apartment.
"How can you chase someone who does so much for the world?"
"What did he ever truly do to you?"
"HE SLICED MY CHEST OPEN THE FIRST TIME WE MET!"
The women shrugged, "you were probably being a jerk before that though, weren't you?"
… He had said he didn't like the louse…
"He aids people in suicide!"
"Iza-neko-" the woman in the middle paused to squeal, "OH MY GOD! HE BET HE LOVES KITTENS!"
"HE MUST!"
"Pro-kitty."
"Do you think he owns one-"
"Ladies," the middle girl interrupted again, "focus! We're taking down the monster that chases him, remember?"
"Hai."
"Hai!" They glared at him again and Shizuo sighed.
"…How about I go apologize to him?"
"Tch, because just apologizing will repair the…OH! YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?" They shot closer to him and swarmed, gaining two more nearby women. "You can show us where he lives?"
"I think I just fangasmed at the thought!"
"Yay! I can see where my future husband lives!"
"He's mine!"
"No!"
"Ladies! He's mine!"
The group imploded, going to the ground in a mass of hair and nails. They growled and hissed at one another, punching and ignoring their injuries as they attacked one another.
Nonetheless, Shizuo took the fine opportunity to hightail it away from them before they collected themselves again. Izaya had some messed up fans. Then again, the man himself was weird, smirking like he did and being a cocky bastard…
But he had saved Kasuka…
Shizuo paused at Russian Sushi and sighed. He could at least thank the man. He should show his brother that he could be a little reasonable.
~.~
Izaya threw himself into his apartment after yet another long day. Why were the Norse Gods messing with him? He was just minding his own business, speaking with clientele (who were not amused by the whole "hero" idea tied to his person). It couldn't die down though.
Fangirls chased him through the streets, screaming his precious name with "neko" or "chan" or even "hubby" (even from the male species) attached to it.
He'd been so busy running from them he'd accidently saved not one, not two, but FOUR people from being mugged, earning himself more attention and adoration with the media who seemed to have some kind of GPS device to his location.
Shiki was taking it well though…
He of course was using the opportunity as a reason to throw his name around as the boss of the hero of Ikebukuro.
…
Izaya made a mental note to send Ayakabashi another love email from the man.
The phone in his office stop ringing, causing the informant to finally notice that it had been ringing. He was getting so used to hearing it ring from fans who got a hold of his number.
Those Riara kids were spreading out his number like it was some kind of free candy.
"Hi IzaIza! Erika here! Thought I would let you know that I'm wanting to apply as your personal bodyguard! I know how fans work. It starts simple; maybe some phone calls, chases down city streets, but I know it gets more intense. They'll be climbing your apartment walls, trying to rape you, plastering your face all over their stuff to show others. Then fanfictions, photoshops; your person will be impersonated a thousand times on social networks… You get the idea."
…that was just freaking creepy…
"Anyway~ I can contain the issue. Stop the problem before it becomes unbearable. So IzaIza, give me a call when you decide. Again, it's Erika Karisawa~ The greatest otaku you know~"
The message ended before another came up.
"Hi, Iza-honey~ Figured I call and let you know that I'm going to be coming home finally~! Don't worry. I got a key from a good friend and am on my way. I should be there by nine thirty."
It was nine.
"Bye sweety!" A kissing sound was made before Izaya shuddered. He sprinted to his room and started to gather up his things, noticing some shirts and several boxers were missing. He shuddered before shutting his bag and running to the front door. He would call Erika once he was to a safer location.
Throwing the door open, he was so busy thinking he ran into his unexpected guest, hitting the man's chest in his oblivion.
Shizuo frowned, stopping him from landing on his bum. "Where are you going?"
"Not now, Shizzy. I gotta go before those women come back."
"What? You're talking to fast!" The blond glared at him.
"SHIZUO! MOVE!" Izaya glared at him almost frantically. He never lost his cool though. He was Orihara Izaya, shady information broker of Shinjuku.
Shizuo held him in place and pushed him back into the apartment. "Those women are everywhere, I doubt you'll be able to avoid them."
"I'm not staying here."
Shizuo pushed him onto the couch slightly roughly and dropped his bag into the man's lap. "Here."
Suspicious as ever, Izaya opened the bag to find a package of his beloved ootoro. The blond itched his head as he stood before him.
"I know it isn't much, but I owe you for saving my brother. You could have let him die, but you saved him instead."
Izaya felt his stomach curl with a foreign emotion, setting the delicious fatty tuna on the coffee table. "Shizu-chan~ I only saved him because he was in my way-"
"Stop being modest and eat." The ex-bartender sat down on the couch and blushed.
"I'm not being modest. You were chasing me, he was there, I wasn't paying attention. These things happen. Like with you and grabbing dogs to throw. It's not like you actually hate dogs, you just do it subconsciously."
The man let the statement sink in before smiling a bit behind his sunglasses. "So what you're saying is, you saved my brother because of a subconscious desire to save him from death…"
"Exact- NO!" Izaya flailed, "I just happened to be there! Maybe if your brother wasn't a complete idiot and actually was human rather than a media doll we wouldn't have-" Izaya froze as two arms wrapped around him. "…Shi-shizu-chan…w-w-what the h-hell are you doing?"
Shizuo continued the hug for several minutes before smirking, "you can stop being so humble about it."
"I'M NOT BEING HUMBLE! I WOULD KILL YOUR BROTHER TO SPITE YOU!"
"But you saved him…" the brute froze, pulling off his shades, revealing an epiphany-reached face, "which means…"
"Nothing. It means nothing, protozoan." Izaya grabbed the ootoro in frustration and began to eat. He was hungry from a whole day of being chased.
"…"
"Dish ish better than ushual."
"Russian Sushi just got their shipment of fresh fish in as I had walked in about ten minutes ago."
Izaya savored the delicacy as it soothed his weary body. Ah~ ootoro~ nothing knew him like his precious tuna~
He shut his eyes in bliss and leaned back on the couch, plopping another slice into his mouth and continuing his ootoro fest.
Next thing, a pair of lips met his, arms wrapping again around his waist. Izaya froze as something gained access into his mouth. Crimson eyes flew open only to grow into the size of saucers.
Shizuo.
Kissing him.
His mind continued to flash the word error as he remained still. The brute pulled back after a minute and blushed hard.
"OH MY GOD YOU'RE A HOMO!"
Izaya choked on some air as the duo on the couch looked over to find the fan from the voice mail standing in the doorway, her face downcast as she turned and sobbed.
"Damn. I was so excited. Finally, a guy who was completely selfless. I had so many plans. Should have guessed, I mean, how many straight guys wear a fur trimmed coat?" She let herself out, shutting the door.
Shizuo shook in amusement as Izaya gave his own apartment door a deathglare.
Gay?
Him?
He was most certainly not gay! He loved all his humans equally! The correct term would be bisexual but he was in fact not selfish enough to narrow his affection to any one soul. He was a God!
Shizuo smiled at him again, sending Izaya's creep-meter into overload, "thanks again for saving Kasuka."
"I didn't save him on purpose, Shizu-chan! It was a mere-" Again, the brute kissed him, pulling back when he was out of breath.
"Shut the fuck up and accept the gratitude, flea."
With that, the protozoan stood up, heading to the door and leaving him on the couch, panting for air. He huffed in aggravation and turned on the television, moaning in agony at the news.
"Again, the hero of Ikebukuro strikes. Saving a total of four people, citizens of Tokyo are starting to find themselves attracted to this idea of helping where help is needed. Overall, crime rates seem to be on the decline with several gangs turning themselves in. Police officials are going to find themselves out of jobs at this rate."
DAMN! He had spent years developing this city's chaos!
Stupid Heiwajimas…
~.~
A/N: Oh, how I love my chaos. Can we say happy birthday to me? This was my present for myself. I think it turned out quite well. Figured I would begin to introduce some Shizaya because I CAN! MUAHAHAHA~
Oh, reviewers, you are all quite amusing. I particularly like the one who said that they wanted some Shizaya inserted. Enjoy my birthday present with me. Izaya with no control is like delicious ootoro. ^-^/
