"Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers."
- Ambrose Bierce
Emma blinked; tear drops falling to her cheeks, quickly mingling with the spray of seawater. Roughly wiping her mouth the blonde tried to ignore the taste of salt on her tongue. Huddling closer to the small fire she had managed to kindle Emma breathed out slowly before grasping for the bottle she had swiped from Mary Margaret's apartment. Yanking off the lid she took a deep swig, the liquid burning her throat on the way down. Wincing in disgust Emma glanced at the label – rum.
She didn't know what she was doing on the beach, reduced to the behavior of a rebellious teenager Emma had snuck out of the shared loft, bottle of rum in tow before decamping on the lonely outstretch of land. Why she felt the urge to drown her sorrows in a bottle was lost to her. Last she checked she didn't even have any sorrows, she was back with Henry and by some miraculous occurrence Neal was still alive. Admittedly he was stuck in the Enchanted Forest but he was alive, and that's what mattered.
Emma took another swig of the foul liquid, wincing once more as she wished she had something to chase the taste away. Placing the rapidly emptying bottle into the sand Emma stared intently into the fire, trying her best to place the swell of emotions that were currently coursing through her. Namely the uneasiness in her stomach – or was it her heart?
Taking another sip of the rum Emma swayed on the spot, her eyes losing focus before the crackling fire was brought back into sharp relief. Not for the first time she wished she could crack open her head and empty out all of the conflicting thoughts. For once they did not concern Henry or the town's safety. But no matter which way she looked at it she was always faced with one question.
Did she love Neal? She had told him as much, but was her confession a result of overwhelming stress and the possibility that she'd never see him again? Rather than letting their whole relationship go unresolved had she chosen to love him in her mourning, had she lied to a dying man?
Was it merely for Henry's sake? Emma roughly shook her head; she couldn't bring Henry into this. She couldn't use her child as an excuse, life wasn't supposed to be about convenience and neat little bows.
No matter what she thought, she was only just managing to confront the love that had been tainted by years of resentment and feelings of betrayal.
"Drinking alone are we?"
Emma stiffened, the voice far too familiar.
"What if I am?" the sheriff questioned, taking another swig for good measure – she'd need it when dealing with him.
"Rum as well?" the man laughed. "It seems your time aboard the Jolly Roger affected you more than you'd care to admit."
Emma snorted, if only he knew. Actually, scratch that, he must never know.
It was his entire fault really. If he hadn't been so goddamn nice, if he hadn't been so attentive and caring… If he hadn't been so understanding and unbelievably attractive – then maybe she wouldn't be in this predicament. If he had kept his jokes and lingering glances to himself she wouldn't have her stomach doing backflips when he was in her vicinity. If she had just spurned his advances then maybe she would be afforded more clarity when it came to Neal now.
Captain Hook had wormed his way under her skin and it seemed that he was there to stay. Dragging her thoughts back to present moment Emma realized that she had been silent for all too long. Thrusting the bottle of rum in Killian's direction in attempt to cover up her embarrassment Emma looked out to sea.
As Killian took the bottle his shoulder bumped against Emma's and it was all she could do to not scream out loud.
"Seriously lass," Killian started having taken a generous sip of the alcohol. "What are you doing out here?"
"Thinking." Emma replied somewhat abruptly.
"What's wrong with the comfort of your own home? And I've always used rum to drown out my thoughts…"
"Too many people in that place." Emma muttered somewhat mutinously, before her green eyes met Killian's and for a second she forgot how to breathe. "Not thinking might be a more accurate statement."
"Anything I can help you with?" Hook asked, his voice its usual baritone.
"Trust me, you've done enough…" Emma whispered, a shaky laugh leaving her throat.
The pirate frowned, "If you're talking about Henry I'm not going to stop helping you because you have your son back."
Emma laughed somewhat mirthlessly, "No, I'm not talking about Henry."
"Then?" Killian questioned patiently.
"Please don't..." Emma started as she tried to force down the tears that were threatening to spill.
"Emma." Killian said somewhat forcefully as he pulled the woman round to face him. Lifting the blonde's chin he gave her a small smile. "You can talk to me."
"Stop being so nice," Emma rushed out in one hesitant breath. "You're not supposed to be nice."
"Is that all I've done?" Hook laughed. "And here I thought I'd committed some unspeakable sin against you."
Standing abruptly Emma walked a foot away from Killian and the fire; the pirate's closeness was sending waves of emotion flooding through her body.
"Emma," Killian called out, his hand reaching out to touch the side of her arm. "What's going on with you?"
"I don't know…. There's just too much in my head. In the past year my son found me and took me to this middle of nowhere town, which actually happens to be the home of a load of cursed fairytale characters. And guess what! I'm the one that can apparently break this curse and I find my long lost parents who are my age. And just when I thought I was figuring things out Henry's dad comes crashing back into my life only to be lost again." Emma gasped, running her hands through her hair before rounding on the pirate. "And then there's you. My son's grandmother's ex lover"
"Me?" Hook questioned quietly, his blue eyes clouded with some indecipherable emotion.
"You come hurtling into my life with your leather coat and your guyliner and suddenly I don't know which way is up anymore." Emma whispered, her hair tumbling about her face as she looked anywhere but the pirate.
"Guyliner?"
"Stop trying to change the subject." Emma chastised, her hand slapping Killian's chest.
"Emma," Killian spoke softly, his hand creeping over the blonde's, holding it against his heart. "What are you trying to say?"
"I…" the blonde whispered. Stepping closer towards the pirate her glassy eyes made contact with his. She could feel his heart pounding against her hand; she could feel his warm breath skimming her lips. Emma wobbled; the rum was working its magic. Raising her free arm Emma let her fingers run through Killian's hair, if only she could pull him closer. For his part Jones had remained still, letting Emma play out whatever she needed to in her head. Finally Emma closed the gap between her and the pirate, placing her lips briefly against Killian's lips she quickly pulled back, her eyes still downcast, not daring to look at the man opposite her. "I need to figure it out, please let me figure it out."
Pressing his cheek against Emma's Killian whispered into her ear, "I'll wait for you."
Pulling herself away the blonde nodded, making moves to step back from Hook, her eyes traveling across his body but stopping short of his face.
Biting her lip Emma's eyes darted up to met Killian's and she could feel a current ripple between them.
"Dammit…"
Launching herself forward Emma's lips crashed against the pirate's, his arms wrapping around her waist as he deepened the kiss. Every nerve ending was responding to the feel of the man pressed up against her and in that moment she had a second of utter clarity. Emma knew she wanted Killian.
A/N: I couldn't leave it at just the one chapter! Hope you enjoyed this one and I'd love any reviews that you guys can give me!
