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I do not own Hetalia.


"Another useless meeting..." China thought to himself, "another meeting that we aren't getting anything done...what a waste of time..." China sighed as he saw watched France and England fight about something rather foolish.

They always found something to fight about. This time it was who hated who more. It wasn't a surprise they were fighting, though. Afterall, a meeting isn't complete until France and England fought.

That wasn't the only chaos in the room. Standing on a chair, America was singing the Star-Spangled Banner on the top of his lungs. All together there was a lot of noise in the room, giving China a headache. The only one that didn't seem to be bothered by any of this was Russia, and it was a little creepy.

Finally, the "hero" stopped singing and spoke up.

"The hero demands you guys to stop fighting!" America shouted at France and England.

They both looked up at America, who was still standing on a chair. England slowly removed his hands from France's throat.

"Okay, listen up," America said in his bossy heroic voice, "we have twenty minutes left, and we did nothing. So instead of doing the smart thing, and start something now, we're gonna play a game I played with Tony."

America came down from the chair to hear the response from the nations.

"Do you want to tell us what stupid game you had in mind, git?" England replied in a snobby voice.

"You're such a jerk. We're playing two truths one lie, and don't say it's dumb because me and Tony had fun playing it." America responded back.

"It's Tony and I, wanker. I'm glad you had fun playing a game teenage girls play at sleepovers." England said sarcastically.

America rolled his eyes after England's snarky comment.

"I'll go first," America said taking his seat, "Okay, I can't remember who, but I once threw up in someone elses car. I've been fired four times. And my IQ is 72."

"Well, I think zhat zhe last one is zhe lie," France answered confidently.

"That's where you're wrong, frog, because it's the second one. America was fired six times." England said.

"Dude, how did you know that?" America asked curiously.

"Yes, England that was a little weird that you didn't need to think about it." China added.

"It's very simple. He threw up in my car. He cries to me everytime he loses a job, and of course he has a low IQ." England assured himself that he knew his ex-colony better than he knew himself.

"America got fired six times, not surprised." Russia laughed, but luckily America didn't hear him.

"Okay," France piped up, "it's my turn."

"I'm gorgeous. I'm afraid of dogs, and I'm moving to a new house next week."

"The first one's definately the lie." England mumbled.

"You never told me you were moving?" America stated, "So, that has to be the lie!"

"Well I am moving, and I told you." France reminded his forgetful friend, "I knew you weren't listening."

"So, what's the lie?" America asked to change the topic.

"I'm not afraid of dogs! I'm afraid of spiders!"

"Why are you afraid of spiders?" America sensed their was a story behind this.

"Tragic story." England whispered in America's ear.

"Okay? What happened?" America was very confused.

"Just like we don't talk about the Revolutionary War, we don't talk about the spider story." England whispered in his ear and took a step back.

"So, Iggy," America called him that to annoy him, "wanna go now?"

England glared at America for what he called him.

"Fine," England already knew what he wanted to say, "I'm bored. I once had a pet monkey, and I won the lottery."

"You're not that lucky. I don't think you won the lottery." Russia joked.

"Nah, I don't think he had a monkey." America shook his head, "I don't remember him ever having a monkey. Unless it was before I was born. Is it the lie?"

England shook his head, "Russia's right. I never won the lottery. At least, not yet. I did have a monkey."

"When? Where is it now?" America was curious about this monkey.

"Well, I got it around the time you became my colony," England explained, "but oneday he just left me. I was heart broken."

"Did you take good care of him? Maybe he left you because you were mean to him." America wanted to know details.

"Yes. I gave him everything."

"How come I never saw him? When did he leave?"

"It's funny you ask," England looked down at the floor, "because he left the same day you left me."

America was stayed silent. He hated when England reminded him that he left him.

"Uh...sorry...I guess," America put his arm around England. He looked sad, but then angry and then... facepalmed?!

"Are you f*** serious?" England shouted, "I raised a moron!" England walked to the corner of the room.

"Dude, what did I do?" America asked innocently.

France walked over to America and slapped him across the face.

"What the hell was that for?" America had no idea what was going on.

"For being an idiot!" France shouted and slapped him again.

"What was that for?" America wanted a real answer.

"You are the monkey!" China shouted. He was trying to comfort England, who was banging his head against the wall, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

France slapped America, again.

"And what was that for?" America was going to get France back for this.

"Nothing. Zhis is starting to become fun. Ohonohon." France joked.

"Excuse me," China spoke up, " I want to go now."

"Go for it, dude."

"Okay, well, I love Hello Kitty. One of my feet is bigger than the other. And I was once trapped in an elevator for an hour!"

"Haha! Dude, I could totally see you getting stuck in an elevator. Ha!" America mocked, "Second one's the lie!"

"Humph...it wasn't funny when it happened," the insulted Chinese man replied.

"Now it's Russia's turn, da?" Russia said suspiciously, "I think you're going to like mine."

"Umm...yea, go a-ahead," England said nervously. He didn't know what that creep was going to say.

"I'm killing my neighbor after this meeting. I strangled a cat, and I have a dead body in my basement."

They hoped none of those we're true! But two of them had to be.

"U-umm...is the l-last one t-the lie?" America asked shaking.

Russia took out his phone and took a picture.

"Haha! You should all see your faces! I'm sending this to everyone! Of course it's the lie." Russia smiled sinisterly.

"Phew. You really got us, dude. I thou-"

"I have 11 dead bodies in my basement!" Russia walked out of the room, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make it twelve."

The rest of the allies walked out of the room traumatized, and avoided Russia even more ever since.

"You know no one asked me if I wanted a turn."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada."


Hope you liked it!

Next up is the Bad Touch Trio!

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aphfan101