Dead-Ringer Solace (PASS)

Lou unaware of the dark clouds hovering nearby the graveyard site, thin drops of rain started to fall. The speedy walking man stopped for a second and slowly opened his umbrella. Lou used her right hand to untangle her scarf, spread on top of her head while her left, holding the bouquet of flowers slipped from her hand. Just in time, the narrow path became narrower when the man slightly tilted the umbrella in his left hand, came to block Lou's path, bent, looked straight and the act of picking up the beautiful bouquet of peony and lavender flowers to clear the path in between them.

Lou suddenly in a frozen moment, emotionless but innocent looking face, unable to move. She let this serendipitous help enter her life. While the man, bent his body, on his formal and poker face, not wanting to reveal anything about him, forced to reveal an inch of his hands when he took off his black leather mittens. He slowly picked up the bouquet of flowers then hand it over to another soft delicate hand but refused to look at the face of the woman. The other side has no time to waste, receive it in and the thin drops of rainfall continue to pour. The passing of seconds seems longer, but the short lapse of time was felt in between, both parties neither wants to recognize it. The man put back his mittens, hold his umbrella back to its upward position and continued to walk as if nothing happened.

Like a pause button suddenly pressed to continue, Louisa Clark found herself standing in the middle of nowhere she thought: What was that? Her mind like she just woke up to face the morning sun even if she finds herself in the middle of rainfall, she tilted her head and said: Clark, where's your manners?

It was too late to show some manners. She thought she should say "thank you!" But left to no chance, all she could do is to watch the back of this gorgeous man, his fragrant scent left on the air, and this bouquet of flowers is dripping from her hand.

The man thought: "I knew she would come."

Louisa Clark continued to walk towards Will's grave, while the man continued to walk away from the graveyard site.

Louisa after casting her words to the dead, suddenly there is silence. Lou must have felt it this time, Will is gone. Its been four years and she did not have any moment to reminisce good old memories until today. Lou carefully placed the bouquet of flowers at Will's grave and there was peace in her heart, holding back her tears, she said: "Just want to tell you, all these years, that feeling never left, nor it did change. But if you're still alive today, would you accept me now?"

The far thin figure took a stolen glance for a second and saw Lou from a cold distance, pierced his heart. Who would have thought that he would himself witness this undying love for a dead man buried six feet under, he said: "I am sorry Will...What can I do to make amends?" The man left, Louisa standing still at the graveyard site, he drove his car away...

Lou have many words, have many questions but no answer, no Will Traynor remains absent. Lou must have felt it, her eyes welling in tears she wiped it using her fingers, continued to speak: "Thank you for making me believe, everybody has the chance to do a fair crack of the whip." But I feel like I have done it all for you, I haven't done anything for myself, and but this is the path you decided your own to end. How about me? How can I end, we?"

After few moments, Lou walked away from the grave. She never knew this could still be painful given a long gap of time passed, her wound is still fresh and the same intense feelings over Will, how can she move on? Lou got inside her car and drove fast to meet Nathan.

A woman ordered the usual tea in the rainy afternoon, looks like her pal will be late. Looking at the woman, the way she handles the teacup drinking is totally different, paired with strawberry & white chocolate choux buns, it is the perfect pastry to match. She took her fork and tasted a little bit, introduced her french paradox manners, left it almost untouched.

Suddenly a man came to open the door, disturbed the quiet cafe. Nathan somehow looking for a familiar face, had a hard time searching for the person he agreed to meet. Lou saw Nathan, a beam and a smile in the corner of her eyes, she called the cafe waiter. The cafe waiter came to her and Lou whispered.

"Sir, your host arrived earlier than expected and she is waiting at the last cafe table. Let me accompany you."

"So kind of you. Thank you," said Nathan

"My pleasure, this way please"

Lou expecting Nathan she stood up and gave him a light cheek to cheek gesture (not necessarily a kiss). Nathan somewhat surprised with Lou, wasn't able to open his mouth to speak, in a whisper he said: Is that you Louisa Clark?

The new Louisa Clark upgraded on her manners, the way she carries herself, her belongings, her fashion statement, her kind of make-up and facial gestures made a huge difference on what she was before than what you are seeing today.

Louisa Clark gave him a funny facial expression and said: "Isn't me? So hows's you?"

Nathan gave her a slight beam and said: Oh I am fine, thank you. And you? Care to chat? By the way, congratulations on your new career!

Thanks, Nathan, I'm good, always been good except that... Lou's intentional pause made Nathan put his hands on his jaw, an act to attentively listen to Lou he said: "Except that.." waiting for words and Lou called the tea barista.

Lou asked Nathan: "Is it black or white?"

Nathan responded he said: "Black if it's going to be a long talk, white if its going to be a short one."

Lou passed on her eyes to the tea barista and said: "Black tea"

Nathan smiled to the tea barista when he said: "Got it, Madame"

"So you were saying something.. except that..." Nathan still attentive and waiting for Lou when Lou said: "I have this feeling of creepiness earlier when I came to visit Will's graveyard."

What kind of creepiness? Said Nathan on his enthusiastic voice.

"Are there kinds to being creepy?" Lou answered.

Nathan responded and said: "I think so like...is creepy because you are scary or creepy because you are afraid?"

"Maybe...both?" Lou answered then emphasized on the last word.

uhm... Nathan thinking a little bit then said: "I guess you bumped into someone? Or might have seen a ghost?"

"How did you know?" Lou answered. Nathan somewhat in silence did not answer Lou. The tea barista came to interrupt.

"Here is your black tea sir, do you have anything to order?"

Nathan replied: "No, I am good." The tea barista left the two.

So going back to you, all I can say is WOW. If this is Louis Clark before, I don't know if Will would have to be brave to live his life and see you like this, I just don't know what would have happened!

Nathan joked, and Lou smiled and responded: "Thanks for the late flattery there, the man is dead, but his love is alive, look what it did to me, its like..."

Lou paused and look into Nathan's eyes and said: "Its like he never died at all."

"Maybe..." short, simple and bland response from Nathan and he drinks his tea then looks at the floor.

Lou observed Nathan behavior and it looks like he is hiding some secrets in there but dismissed that thought, shifted their conversation to ask about Nathan's life.

"So when you emailed me, you are now living with your wife, had kids, and plans to marry her in summer, what is lacking? Seems to be a happy couple living a happy family," asked Louisa.

Nathan back to Lou's attention said: "Yeah, We already got married in a civil wedding and now two kids, but we want to solemnize our vows in church."

"And you need a wedding gown, a groom's suit, and all the flower girls and ring bearers?" Louisa asked.

"Exactly!" Nathan said it like he is a first-time groom.

You got it! And do not even think of the costs, said Louisa

Nathan got excited and said: "I got the nod and owe you at the same time! This is a lucky man on a lucky day!"

"I am just giving back your kindness, I wouldn't be able to make Will's last days, his happiest ones...Remember it when I asked you to help me out to bring him to our vacation in Mauritius."

"Oh yes, just for that one, I have not told you about," said Nathan

"What is it?" Louisa in full attention as if she is going to jump in surprise.

Did you know that Will almost gave up something...said Nathan with both of his hands holding his teacup as if warming his hands from the cold weather outside?

Lou started to become curious she asked seriously with a hint of fear on her voice: "Will almost gave up something... of what?"

Nathan carefully look at her face and must sound honest, he said: "Lou, I do not know the details but when you changed your behavior like a small child pouting yourself at him, he seems like he wanted to cuddle up a child asking to let him grant a favor on a do-or-die whim."

Lou can still remember it back then like it was yesterday said: "I...I.."

Nathan cut her words in there he said: "You knew his condition would never become any better..."

"Yes, but I love him..." Lou finally confessed to Nathan.

Nathan holding back some important information about the Traynors, wanted to spill it out but hold it back.

Having been with his patient for the last two years before Louisa Clark came for a quick chatter and for a cup of tea, he knew the Traynors a little bit more than Louisa knew them. If not for the non-disclosure agreement he signed four years ago, he could intervene and help the two. But he remained professional all throughout, as far as his contract concerns him and Will also gave him enough money to compensate him upon termination of his caregiver service, a silenced mouth will help all, end the story after Will Traynor died.

Nathan broke the silence in there and wanted to let go of the moment said: "I just hoped that he has given you more chances to become happy than becoming sad."

After the three hours of chat, the two bid their goodbyes and Lou drove her car back to their house.