Chapter 2
Christmas Eve had finally arrived at the mansion. Pit was making some last-minute checks for his Christmas dinner.
"Decorations?" the angel muttered to himself as he looked in the dining room. "Check!" He then headed for the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" a voice behind him asked. Pit froze and turned around. Leaning against the wall was Dark Pit, and he didn't look too happy. Then again, he never looked too happy.
"Making sure everything's ready for the Christmas dinner. Why?" Pit asked.
"Eh, no reason. It's just that I've heard a few smashers complaining about this event."
Pit panicked a little, but didn't show it. "What've they been saying?"
"Let's see, that you can't cook, that the food's probably gonna taste like crap, that the decorations are gonna be cheesy..." Dark Pit noticed an expression of shock on Pit's face. "Hey, you wanted to know. I'll be honest, I'm not totally up for this dinner either. I already had plans to order a pizza and watch the original Black Christmas for the millionth time. But hey, if you wanna do this, go ahead." With that, the dark angel walked away.
0000
Peach, Rosalina, Samus, Palutena, and Zelda were in their room, getting ready for dinner. Peach was pulling various dresses out of her closet, Rosalina was touching up her makeup, Zelda was trying to decide what to wear, and Palutena and Samus were talking.
"So, yeah, if all goes well, I'll be heading back to Skyworld with Pit after dinner." Palutena said. She let out a sigh.
"What's the matter?" Zelda asked, scanning a beautiful gold-and-white dress.
"Nothing, it's just...I'm a little uneasy about this whole Christmas dinner." she confessed. "I know Pit's intentions are good, but...I just have this bad feeling about the whole thing."
"Same here." Samus mentioned. "Especially after TL decided to volunteer. I have no idea what's happening to that kid."
"I'm just thinking that he took the holiday movies I showed the kids too seriously." Rosalina said, applying another layer of blush. "He seemed awfully quiet after the Peanuts one."
"Well, I for one think that this is gonna be good! I even helped decorate and cook!" Peach exclaimed, wearing a dress similar to her normal one, except it was white with red trim. "Samus, Palutena, you should get dressed!"
Palutena looked down at her white dress and gold adornments. "You're saying THIS isn't dressed?"
"Besides, I'm pretty sure that this is a casual thing." Samus pointed out. Peach, however, wasn't listening.
"Don't worry! I have a few things that would fit you!" Peach grinned, dragging Samus to her closet and ignoring the screaming and kicking.
0000
This was a bad idea, Pit thought to himself.
He was at the head of the dining room table. Sitting in front of him were two rows of smashers, and several of them looked pretty upset, Samus especially. Except in her case, it probably wasn't because of the robbing of valuble free time; Pit could see that she was wearing a very poofy golden dress, something that she normally wouldn't wear if her life depended on it.
"So, uh, you can eat!" he said, clearly nervous. Most of the smashers started eating and talking amongst themselves. Pit relaxed and started eating along with the rest. He heard different snatches of conversation, but soon found one that got him listening intently.
Bowser was chatting with fellow villain Ganondorf. "So what were you gonna do tonight?"
"Try and figure out the power of the Smash Balls, actually." the Gerudo responded. He sighed. "But of course, this dinner HAD to be tonight."
"I know, right?" Bowser groaned. "This chicken isn't even fresh! Someone just reheated it in the microwave!"
"And these decorations!" Ganon exclaimed, pointing to the overly-cutesy angels. "It looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here!"
Pit was upset, but his thoughts were quickly diverted by a telepathic call. Get out of here now.
Lady Palutena? Pit thought. He looked at the goddess, who gave him a quick nod.
You aren't the only one who heard their conversation, she told him, subtley pointing at Peach.
He looked at the princess. Her face was glowing a brilliant scarlet, and he could see smoke floating over her head.
Oh, shit.
0000
Toon Link was enjoying himself. The food was great-he was on his second helping of chicken-and he was with his best friends. Sure, he'd noticed Pit excuse himself from the table, but that was probably because he needed to use the bathroom. What more could go right?
Absolutely nothing.
A loud screech rang through the dining room. "I COOKED THAT CHICKEN AND DECORATED THIS FUCKING DINING ROOM!"
Peach was out of her seat, giving an if-looks-could-kill glare to Bowser and Ganondorf. The two would-be conquerors shrank back in their chairs, as Toon Link watched, terrified of what the princess might do.
Peach picked up Bowser's plate, glaring at the cowering koopa. With one mighty swing, she'd hurled it-and its contents-at him.
"IF YOU HATE IT SO MUCH, YOU CAN HAVE IT, YOU JERKS!" the princess screeched. She then proceeded to do the same to Ganon.
Ness quickly caught on. "FOOD FIGHT" he yelled, hurling a roll at Samus. Pretty soon, the entire dinner had descended into screaming madness.
Toon Link quivered in his seat. This wasn't how the dinner was supposed to go, right? There wasn't supposed to be any violence at Christmastime...right?
He watched the food fight progress, with more and more smashers joining in and yelling at the top of their lungs...until something inside him snapped, and he let out a scream that stopped everyone in their tracks.
"I HATE CHRISTMAS! I HATE ALL OF YOU!"
He then proceeded to stomp out of the room.
All the smashers were frozen where they stood, trying to process what had happened. All was silent for a minute, before Dark Pit finally spoke up.
"Yeah, you know what? Fuck the holidays, I'm out of here."
He then proceeded to his room.
0000
"Iiiiiiiiii don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I neeeeeeed..."
It was a busy night at Santa's workshop. Elves were using their magic hammers to build toys, the sleigh was being loaded with presents, and Rudolph was polishing his nose...yes, busy indeed.
Santa himself was making some last-minute naughty/nice checks on his tablet when one of his elves ran up to him.
"And I don't care about the preseeeents underneath the Christmas treeeee..."
"Sir, we've got two losses of the Christmas spirit...at the same address." the elf said, handing a piece of paper with an address on it to Santa. "Should we send in the big guns?"
Santa looked at the paper and nodded. The elf took it back and raced towards a black door in Santa's workshop, labeled Do not enter without official buisness.
"Oooooh, I just want you for my ooown, more than you could ever knoooow..."
The elf opened the door. Behind it was a dark room, filled with snowglobes-some of which screamed occasionally. The elf walked past these unflinching until he reached the back of the room.
In a chair was a dark, cloaked figure. Two giant horns protruded from the hood and curled behind its head. It looked at the elf with interest.
"Make my wish come truuuue, yeee-eeeah..."
"You've got a job." the elf said, handing the address to the figure, who took it in its long claws. He then left out the door he came in.
The figure read the address and gave a sharp-toothed smile.
"...Aaaaaall I waaaaant for Christmaaaaaas iiiiiiiii-iiis yoooooooou."
Don't ask me why I added the lyrics to "All I Want For Christmas Is You" in the last bit. It just seemed fitting.
