His hands fidgeted with his tie instead of opening the door of his car and getting out into the cool, autumn wind. He stared at JJ's front door as if this were the first time he'd been invited to her home. Maybe he could back out of the driveway and leave before anyone noticed he was there.
He told himself, very sternly, to stop freaking out! He'd never hear the end of it if he didn't get out of his car and knock on her door. There's nothing to be afraid of, he reminded himself as he walked up to her front porch. It's just JJ, Will and a seven pound infant.
His fingers were shaking when he rang the doorbell, which made him furious with himself. He'd done fine holding Henry in the hospital. JJ and Will were there. It's not like he'd volunteered to babysit. Alone! Now that was a frightening thought.
Will opened the door and greeted him with a smile. "Hey, Spencer. Good to see you."
Reid stepped into the entryway because running away was unacceptable. "Um, thanks!"
Oh God, he just squeaked. Will would laugh at him for sure. This was the worst idea in the world.
Will didn't laugh at him. Instead he led him into the living room where JJ was sitting in one of the easy chairs with Henry in her arms. The baby didn't appear to be crying or in any way upset. Good! That was excellent.
"Hey, Spence. Thanks for coming over."
"Hi," he managed to say without squeaking this time. "You guys look comfortable."
"I just fed him. He's out like a light."
Will excused himself and headed toward the kitchen, so Spencer sat on the couch across from JJ and Henry. "Well, um, why did you want to see me?"
"I thought you might like to visit with your godson. It's been three weeks and he misses you."
"Actually, babies Henry's age don't have the emotional capacity to miss someone."
"Alright… I missed you." She said and her blue eyes were annoyed.
"I'm sorry," he put his hands on the knee crossed over his leg. "I'm a little nervous."
"Why."
"I've been thinking about being a godfather and I don't think I'll be good at it. I don't know anything about babies."
"Spence, don't you think I thought the same thing when I was pregnant? I'm still freaked out."
"You are?"
"Yeah. Will and I am still learning. He didn't come with an instruction booklet."
Spencer thought about this and looked at Henry, who appeared to be slumbering peacefully. An overwhelming desire to hold the little guy overtook all of his fears. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand then held out his arms. "May I hold him for a minute?"
Tears filled her eyes and smote at his heart. He didn't mean to make her cry. What now?
"Of course," she was saying.
The next thing he knew she sat next to him and was depositing Henry in his arms. He saw that Henry wore a knitted cap on his head and was wrapped tightly in a blanket. He remembered that newborns liked to be swaddled. His little face hadn't changed much in three weeks, but it was still beautiful and peaceful.
"He looks good," he said lamely to JJ.
"I think he looks like Will, but Will thinks he looks like me. I guess we'll know for sure when he's a little older."
"He has your eyes," Spencer blurted out.
She smiled at him. "That's what Will says."
He had lots of facts about newborns crowded in his brain, but for some reason he didn't have the desire to share them all. He just wanted to hold the baby for a while. He liked the way this little guy made him feel, like he was accepted.
"It would appear that Henry's a smart little guy," JJ said.
He only gaped at her and she chuckled. "Well, it looks like the Reid affect doesn't bother him."
"Oh, man!" His face and eyes lit up in a way seldom seen in the office and it made her want to hug him. "Hey, I think you're right."
He smiled broadly at her and she wiggled her eyebrows. "Now, we just need to find a young lady for you and you can have one of these for your own."
"Ah, no, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
"It doesn't matter," he replied as he rocked Henry and looked at his face instead of at JJ. "Girls don't like me that way."
"What way would that be?" She teased.
"Come on, JJ."
"The great thing about you, Spence is your ability to shut everything out and completely concentrate on what's important. The irritating thing about you is that you seldom look around, and see that there are many woman out there that notice you."
"Thanks, JJ."
She reached over and put a hand on his arm. "I'm not trying to insult you, Spence. I've seen some of the ladies at the bureau watching you."
Spencer twisted his mouth into a pout. At least he had Henry in his arms and could look at him instead of making eye contact with JJ.
"They notice me because they think I'm weird."
"Look at me," JJ commanded.
He looked at her because he could feel her eyes on the top of his head. "What?"
"I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. So, I'll stop arguing with you about women and we'll talk about something else instead."
"I'm sorry," he finally said.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know."
"Just promise me that you'll take a look around once in a while. You might be surprised."
"Okay, but I don't think anything's gonna to change."
She reached out and touched Henry's sleeping face. "I think Henry would love a little playmate someday."
He finally gave her a tremulous smile. "Maybe."
"Why don't I put Henry in his crib and we can have a little lunch before he wakes up?"
Once again, he didn't want to give up the little boy in his arms, but he couldn't stay here forever. He was the godfather, not a parent like JJ and Will.
"Hey, Henry, I'll see you later."
JJ collected her baby without waking him and left Reid there in the living room. He looked around at the chairs, the little baby swing in one corner and the inviting fireplace that crackled with flames. JJ said he'd make a great dad. Well, he didn't know if that were true, but the idea suddenly held more appeal than before Henry's birth.
"Hey," JJ reentered the room. "You ready for lunch."
"Yeah, I could eat."
She winked at him and he followed her to the kitchen. Henry was lucky. He had parents that loved him and would always be there for him. And, he had a godfather that would never go away.
