II. Unpleasant Surprises
After Drakken had his group moment with his mutant plants, they set about finishing their cleaning. A few hours later, there was barely a speck of dust that had escaped their reach. He had tried to start up the main computer with no luck and figured that the year had caused some components to fail or something like that. As he commanded the plants to go back into his body, he heard his stomach growling. It was well past suppertime and he was in major need of sustenance. Then again, since his plant mutations had made themselves more apparent, he'd found it hard to keep himself full. Grumbling about Shego still not being there, he went to the kitchen to search the cupboards. Shego had complained about having to travel too far to get her morning coffee with the other lairs, so he had this one built with their private kitchen near her bedroom, which had his bedroom farther down the hall (after all, fraternizing with the henchmen was beneath both of them).
He was an excellent cook, but since he usually only cooked for himself, no one besides him ever really knew that. That night, however, he decided to cook something for the both of them. Shego would probably be hungry after the long trip here, so he felt that he should have something good waiting for her to eat. He settled on coq au vin…and then it dawned on him that everything that he needed for that would have spoiled over the year. He cursed his luck and now decided to search for anything edible. Making a mental note to send Shego grocery shopping, he noticed that one of the cupboards was hanging open slightly. He was hoping that there would be some ramen or something that would have lasted for a year. But that hope was quickly dashed when he saw the mess hidden by the doors. He was surprised that he hadn't smelled it. Then Drakken realized that he hadn't smelled anything due to the fact that there was nothing left to smell. All of the food was gone and their packaging had been ripped to shreds. He checked all of the cupboards and found them all to be in similar condition. Not understanding how that could be so (and not realizing that all of the cupboards were connected and, as such, access to one gave access to all), the doctor began to wonder if the place was haunted.
He jumped suddenly as a loud crash echoed down the hall from where Shego's room was. His mind started racing with the different possibilities of what it could be. Eventually, reasoning that it was Shego's room the noise had come from since no one besides him would be able to get into his room, he decided that it had to be Shego. Nothing in the world was stupid enough to enter Shego's room and think it had a chance to survive. His fear melted away and was replaced by anger. What was she thinking, leaving the cupboards like this? It was like a disaster zone!
"Shego!" Drakken barked down the corridor. "Shego, come here and clean this mess up now!" He received no reply, so he figured that if he shouted louder that she would eventually respond. "SHEGO! I know you're there, so stop pretending that you can't hear me and get in here!" He heard something which sounded like it was coming from her room, so he started to relax. Then tensed up all over again when he heard a clicking noise. Shego did not make clicking noises. Whatever was coming down the hall was making clicking noises. Therefore, Shego was not coming down the hall. As the noise grew louder, Drakken began to panic. What if it was a robber? Or another super villain or hero come to stop him before he could get started? Or worse, his mother? Shaking at the thought, all he could do was stand there as whatever it was came into the light.
It was a small creature, with a fluffy, fur covered face that was patterned similar to the mask that Shego sometimes wears. Like a raccoon. Sort of. The face and fur were like a raccoon, but the body structure was wrong. It tickled at something in his memory, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The creature looked at Drakken with shrunken eyes and took another step forward, sniffing toward him. The click that the creature's claws made against the floor echoed through the room.
"Oh, uh…er…hello there, odd creature thing," Drakken said in a voice riddled with confusion. He put his hand to his chin, forgetting about the creature for a second. If that wasn't Shego, then where in the world was she? As he was contemplating what could have happened to his assistant, the animal turned around and started barking down the hall. Seeing the other half of its body which had been covered in shadow, Drakken finally remembered what it was.
"You're a tanuki!" he said, pleased with the fact that he knew it. He'd seen some of them in a few of his favorite shows. Shego kept calling them cartoons, but he would firmly reply that the correct term was 'anime'. It surprised him that she was unable to tell the difference between two completely different things. "So you're the one that made this mess, huh?" He was aware, thanks to his shows, that tanuki are very silly and mischievous creatures that love to play tricks on people. It came as no surprise that the raccoon-like creature would do something like this, just to get a rise out of him. He was roused from his thoughts by the sound of clicking. The tanuki that had shown up had turned around and was looking at Drakken. Then another one appeared next to it, also eyeing Drakken. Then another. And another. Eventually, there were eleven raccoon dogs lined up and looking at Drakken. They'd probably gotten trapped in here somehow and had eaten all of the food in the lair and then some. How in the world had they managed to get through the security system? Several sniffed at him from the distance they were and a few licked their jaws. That's when he noticed it; they were all emaciated. Almost complete skin and bones. Unfortunately, he hadn't brought any food with him to feed them with. A few started to advance on him and he then realized with a bit of horror that he was made of meat. He took a step back and the rest of the little group began to take steps forward. Tanuki were supposed to be good-hearted creatures. Even when they were starving, they wouldn't eat people…would they?
"Nice doggies?" Drakken said to them, holding his hands out in a placating manner. Two seconds later, the entire group leapt at the poor mad scientist, with mouths opened wide and claws spread.
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Kim had tried to enjoy the night out with Ron, eating at Bueno Nacho and going to see a movie ('The Rage of the Brick' was now in theaters, with even more brick than its predecessors), but her heart just wasn't in it. Ron had noticed, but even losing his pants when he tried to leave the aisle they were sitting in to get refills had no effect. He felt bad that he was the reason that Kim was so upset, but he also knew that it was something that had to be done. Although everything that he had said was the truth, he hadn't mentioned the main reason that he had to let her go. After the battle with Warhok and Warmonga at the beach party was when it had started. He had gone to one of the port-a-potties that were stationed on the beach to go to the bathroom and ended up getting shoved by Junior, who was exiting one.
"Oops, I am sorry, little sidekick. I did not see your scrawny little body. Perhaps you should buff up a little?" he sneered at Ron. Ron heard giggling behind him and an annoyingly familiar voice.
"Junior, honey, I don't think that this loser would be able to take it. One go with a five pound weight would probably have him on the ground gasping for air," Bonnie laughed. She quickly wrapped her arms around one of Junior's beefy biceps and dragged him off before Ron could say anything. Gritting his teeth slightly, he came to the conclusion that it was a mistake to match those two up. Little Bon Bon was obviously rubbing off on the rich momma's boy. He was so busy thinking about that that he didn't realize that his hands were glowing blue. He grabbed the door for the bathroom with force, intending to just slam it against the neighboring toilet. Instead, the entire row of toilets went flying from the intense force which Ron had used on the one that he was about to enter. Looking at the mess (and smelling the stench and hearing the screams of people that had been using them at the time), Ron gave a sheepish grin to those that had seen it happen and started rubbing the back of his neck.
"Uh…my bad. Sorry, guys," Ron had said to everyone there. Not wanting to be around for people to ask questions, he went straight back to Kim, intending to get out of there quickly. He figured it was a one-time thing. Anger isn't an emotion that he deals with much, so it should have been an isolated incident. But then it happened again a few days later. And again. The times that it happened came closer and closer together and it eventually came to the point that it didn't matter how he was feeling. He'd come to the conclusion that he needed help with controlling his powers now. He wasn't able to do it on his own anymore. Contacting a super secret ninja school was hard, but luckily for Ron, he had the ability to project his consciousness to Sensei thanks to the powers which were now getting out of control. After talking with Master Sensei for a bit, it was decided that Ron would go to Yamanouchi around the time that Kim headed off to college. It had been a miracle that she hadn't noticed yet, but he didn't want to be separated from her when they would be separated for so long. Things just kept getting worse and worse. The scariest thing that had happened was a couple of days before, when he had taken his sister Hana to the park intending to push her on the swing. They'd been playing for a few minutes without any problems when he suddenly went full Mystical Monkey Power. He was barely able to stop himself from pushing her. Ron kept thinking back on it over the last few days. Hana, even with her ninja baby skills, could have gotten seriously injured had the transformation occurred a split second later. The images of what could have happened to his little sister started to haunt him.
He was glad that Kim hadn't seen him like that, but then she sprang the surprise news on him that she had decided to go to Japan for college so that they could be together. She'd arranged everything ahead of time to give him a big surprise. Kim probably figured that he was worrying over nothing with the MMP situation and thought that they could spend most of their time together. But Ron knew that it would take most of his time just to keep his power under control. So to keep her from finding out and possibly hurting her, he had broken up with her. Now they wouldn't see each other nearly as much as they used to. It was the best choice for everyone. But if that were the case, then why did it hurt so much?
Soon after the movie had finished, Kim was driving Ron back to his house. It was quiet the entire time. Kim wanted to say something, but was too afraid that she would start crying hysterically if she did. Ron was preoccupied with staring out the window. It was when they had arrived at Ron's house that Kim was able to find her voice.
"Ron?" she said as he was climbing out of the Sloth. Ron stopped right outside of the door and turned to face her. "Was it something I did? Please, just help me understand why. I'm certain that we could make a long-distance relationship work. I care about you so much…so much…" Kim's voice broke then and tears began to run down her face as they had earlier. Ron's heart and willpower started to break at that point. He went over to Kim's side, opened the door, and started to hug her.
"KP, I care about you, too. I-" he abruptly stopped when he saw his hands. His. Bright. Blue. Glowing. Hands. Which were around Kim. Which could crush her with little effort. Ron quickly let go of Kim and put his arms behind his back.
"Ron…?" Kim said hesitantly.
"Kim, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he sobbed, tears now running down his face. He turned and ran for his house and decided that he had to get to Yamanouchi soon. He couldn't wait until the end of the week. He couldn't see Kim again. If he did, he might not catch himself next time.
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"GAAAAHH!" Drakken screamed as he ran down the hallways of the lair with his coat flapping wildly behind him. A few seconds passed and nearly a dozen raccoon dogs turned into the hallway and raced after him. Although they were starved, their desperation gave them the strength to pursue the doctor. Luckily for Drakken, his years of running away from collapsing buildings and exploding doomsday machines had conditioned him for running for his life. Being panicked and not thinking about where he was going, he eventually ended up running to the henchman's lounge, which was a dead end. He barely had enough time to shut the door before they were on it, scratching and pounding against it like their lives depended on getting in there. Drakken breathed a sigh of relief since he was safe for the time being and sat down at the round, gray table in the middle of the small room. Taking a look around, he noticed that the refrigerator and cupboards were, like the kitchen, empty with the food containers torn to shreds. The only thing left was a bag of coffee beans which had a tear in it and had spilt some of its contents on the counter. Considering the skeleton of what he was certain had been a tanuki that was sitting next to the bag, he was certain that although they were hungry, they wouldn't try to eat those if they could have him. The sound of breaking wood told him that his time was almost up.
"That is the LAST time that I try to make a lair feel more homey," Drakken muttered to himself. He usually had the doors made out of metal, but had decided to try to make this lair a bit more domestic and had opted for wooden doors in this section instead. He got up and started pacing to help himself think. How would he be able to get out of this? Drakken knew that if Shego arrived (he was starting to doubt that she would), she would stand there and laugh a bit before helping him. He hadn't grabbed any of his ray guns from his lab since he had just gotten here. Heck, he'd barely remembered to get the electricity going for the lights… Drakken was suddenly struck by an interesting idea. He looked up at the light to make sure it was one of the hanging ones and proceeded to position himself so that he was across the table facing the door. They had almost finished tearing through the door and he could see the maws of some of them trying to fit through the ever growing holes they were making with their claws. He called on his plants to come out of his sleeves and had them grab the light. A minute later, the bottom of the door was reduced to splinters as the tanuki broke through in their frenzy to feed. As they were coming around the table, Drakken had the vines pull him up as he tried to swing across the table. He managed to not only swing over the table, but he also was able to land on his feet and start running. He grinned and was about to open the door when he accidentally stepped on the front of his coat. Tripping, falling, and sliding on the floor, his head went through the splintered remains of the door as his left shoulder collided with the wall.
Drakken realized that he was done for. All of his years of trying to conquer the world and he would be taken down not by the law, but by a bunch of two feet tall woodland critters! He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth in anticipation of the pain. Several seconds passed. Drakken opened one eye, then the other. Where was the 'ouch'? The mad scientist slowly pushed himself back into the room and found the creatures incapacitated. While he had been scared stiff and stuck, his mutant plants were free and willing to protect themselves and their master. They were able to lasso up all of the animals before they could do anything and Drakken had them released out of the side entrance. By the time he had made it back to the main area, he was steaming mad. If it hadn't been for that accident with the plant potion, he might've been eaten! It was Shego's job to prevent things like this. Where was she? Tired of waiting, Drakken pulled out his cell phone and called Shego. After a couple of rings, she finally answered.
"What do you want?" she asked in an annoyed, I-don't-want-to-talk-to-you way.
"Shego, where are you? You were supposed to be at the lair in Japan HOURS ago!" Drakken yelled into the phone. On the other end, Shego was lounging by a pool in a two piece bikini and holding the phone away from her ear. Everyone in the general area gave her a look, but a quick glare from her made most of the curious onlookers go back to what they were doing.
"You don't check your e-mail very often, do ya?" she said. "If you had checked it in the last couple of weeks, you would have noticed that I sent you a message telling you that I was taking some time off. You know, like how my contract says I can?"
"But…but Shego…there's taking over the world to consider!" Drakken said. "And what do you mean 'taking some time off'? You just had two whole months off!"
"No, I was still on the clock then. Remember my contract? In the section covering vacation time? As long as I made myself available while you took your vacation, then I was still to be paid," she said smugly.
"What are you talking about? We were both on break and you were most certainly NOT available to me the last two months," Drakken said, the volume of his voice and his temper rising.
"Now what are YOU talking about? I was just a phone call away, Dr. D," she replied. "It's not MY fault that you never called me." At this point, Shego held the phone away from her ears, knowing what was going to happen. A couple of seconds later, frustrated screaming came from the earpiece and was accompanied by the sound of things breaking. "Hey, hey, HEY! You'd better not be breaking any of my things!" she yelled into the phone. "Anyway, I've got-" she proceeds to check her nonexistent watch, forgetting for a second that he wasn't there to see her do that, "-oh, about 42 more vacation days, and I plan on using every single one of them going around the world to places that I couldn't visit when I had a record." She smirked a little and corrected herself. "Well, that I couldn't visit without getting chased by some Joe Schmoes that recognized me from my 'Wanted' posters." She then proceeded to add some heavy duty sarcasm to her speech. "Yeah, as much fun as it's been talking to you, I think that I'll get back to my vacation. Away from you. Ciao!" she said before hanging up on him.
Author's Notes:
Oh, poor Drakken. So innocent and naïve. But those are just some of the many things which make him so incredibly awesome.
Yeah, sorry about the angst. But I wanted a legitimate reason that they broke up, not the oh-so-random 'it's-not-working-out' stuff. It will get past this stuff in a little bit. But this has to be done for the story's sake. I don't like it any more than the rest of you (unless you are a masochist; then you might be enjoying it).
I do realize that most raccoon dogs are quite timid, but these guys were starving. I'd expect squirrels to come after me if they were starving. Think it's pointless to have them? It'll be a bit more clear as to why they were needed later. Truth be told, though, I did it mostly because I thought it would be entertaining for Drakken to have to get involved in a little scuffle. Anyway, hope someone out there liked my story. I'd appreciate some reviews just to have an idea if I'm doing an okay job or not.
I would like to once again give my thanks to Supreme Distraction for looking at the story and helping me to fix any problems that were present.
