A/N: Thank you so much for the awesome reviews, favorites, and follows!
Angel Star Ninja (Guest): Thank you! Mmm, that's a very good idea. I'll add that to the current list.
Bob (Guest): *Squeals* Thank you, Brother! :) It's great to see another too.
This turned out very different than my intentions, but as long as it ends up humorous, I'm good (I hope). We'll see...
Chapter 2:
Season 1
Humor
Main Character(s): Chen, Clouse, Lloyd, and Zane
Other(s): Sensei Wu, Nya, Jay, Cole, and Kai
Twenty Loads of Nothing
During episode 5: Can of Worms…
It was a quiet evening. Well, as quiet as it could get when Chen was in of his impatient moods, sitting in Destiny's Bounty hidden from the ninja. Yet impatient as he was, he and Clouse had observed them for three weeks. The former was getting more restless than ever.
It was certainly unusual for a future Ruler of Ninjago and Master Noodle Maker to hide, but his collection of Ninjago relics lacked anything from the ninja who'd saved the world. He'd been monitoring the golden weapons, which were carried by the four daily. Not an option. He had to find something that they wouldn't miss and wouldn't jeopardize his rule with too many snakes.
The ninja took care of the laundry Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which included the gi. An original would be perfect. He'd ordered Clouse to replicate Zane's uniform so they could swap it, but something unusual cropped up several days prior. Wu had taken in his nephew – Lloyd – and earlier in the morning assigned him to put something in the whites. Eight hours ago.
Chen was playing an imaginary death trap, button game when the ship landed with a low rumble. He scramble for the peephole as a foul odor rose similar to sulfur into his nostrils. Swamps surrounded them and trees stretched as far as the eye could see. Boring. "What in Ninjago is this?" he hissed, covering his nose. Behind him, Clouse waved away a sort of green mist seeping into the ship.
"We are in the Toxic Boggs, Master Chen."
"Whatever. Whatever. I'm bored."
The noodle maker sighed and twiddled his thumbs until he saw Sensei Wu and Nya. The two stepped off a large anchor onto the muddy ground and broke into a quick jog. Two meters away lay four, prone shapes. Wu stooped over and hauled one form to a sitting position, which turned out to be a young man in a…pink gi?
Chen eyes bulged, and he pressed closer for a better look. The old man pulled the ninja hood off, revealing blond hair and a face that belonged to Zane – it stunned the evil Master Noodle Maker momentarily – and checked his throat for a pulse as Nya examined Jay. "He's breathing," she said, voice muffled.
Wu's forehead wrinkled like a shriveled prune and he shook his head. "There's no pulse."
"What?"
Chen almost dropped the telescope in disbelief, mouth agape. Zane didn't have a pulse? Clouse sidled closer to see, equally curious and incredulous at the same time. Nya grabbed Zane's wrist, a puzzled look on her face, and she leaned her head against his chest. It rose and fell steadily, but there was no heartbeat – only a faint, electrified hum she barely heard.
"Sensei, he's alive! It's…weird though."
"What is?"
"He doesn't have a pulse, but he's still breathing."
Wu lifted Cole in his arms without any apparent strain, speaking over his shoulder and heading toward the anchor. "No time. Get them inside. We'll land by the Monastery ruins."
"What do you think happened to them?"
"I don't know."
Once Wu was out of earshot, Nya planted her hands on her hips. "Ugh, seriously. I should've just flown off instead of doing this." She waved at the three and sighed. "For a second, I thought I might've killed you, Zane. I guess being a Samurai has its disadvantages after all."
With a grunt, she started dragging Kai up by his armpits, struggling from the added weight. Chen suppressed a cackle and retreated to the small hideout so he could let loose that desperate laugh about to explode in his lungs. With a giggle, he rolled on the floor and clutched onto Clouse's sleeve, trying to regain his composure.
"I love this! The famed Samurai – the ninja's sister – made them sleep a long time, eh?"
Clouse rolled his eyes and bowed as respectfully as possible. "Master Chen, what about our mission tonight?"
"Give me! Give me the thingy!"
Clouse handed Chen the remote control to a tiny drone bug, mumbling as he sat near the peephole, suddenly disinterested. Sometimes, he wondered why he followed this idiot around, but at least he'd replaced Lord Garmadon. In the near future, he would be second-in-command of all Ninjago and—
His train of thought was cut off by another bout of giggles. He rolled his eyes and decided a nap was better than sitting there listening to the sheer stupidity of his permanent master.
Chen hovered the drone over the dining room to watch Sensei Wu set Cole on the table and then bolt back out as Nya dragged Kai in. "I swear, Brother, when this is over, I'm making you lose weight," she groaned, laying him across several chairs. "Take a good nap."
A few minutes later, Zane and Jay were limp on the remaining chairs, Sensei Wu checking them each carefully. Chen chuckled. Why did Nya make them pass out in the first place? It baffled him, but all the same, it was fun to watch.
"Sensei, you need to listen."
Nya handed Sensei a stethoscope and made room for him while he listened to Zane's heartbeat. "Now, now. What do we have here?" Chen whispered, lowering the drone a few inches for a closer view.
Sensei raised his brows, and stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Mm…"
"Well?" Nya probed. "I didn't hear much."
"I…don't know what to say. Perhaps—"
Sensei cut himself off as Zane sucked in a sharp breath and shot to a sitting position, blue eyes snapping open. He glanced wildly around the room and then rose to his feet, swaying slightly like a drunken man. Sensei reached out and steadied him.
"What happened?" Zane asked groggily.
"We found you and the others outside, passed out," Sensei responded, "What happened?"
"The samurai…I sense he forced us to inhale sleeping gas. How are the others?"
"Still unconscious. Go on and wash up. Lloyd will take care of your pink gi."
Chen's hopes skyrocketed. It was the perfect opportunity to do a quick swap, and obtain a prized possession, much better than a normal gi. He couldn't get over the pink! "Clouse, it's time!" he hissed, jumping up and down like a little boy who'd consumed too much candy. "Hurry, get me the gi!"
A loud snore floated across the hideout. "Clouse?" Chen turned and saw his right-hand man fast asleep on the floor, curled into a tight ball. He rolled his eyes, grabbed the gi from the man's go bag, and returned his attention to the drone in time to see it plummet mid-air. The robot landed, lenses face up.
A white beard filled the view, followed by a palm slamming down with a smack; then the screen went blank. Chen's heart sank. He tried using the remote and pressed multiple buttons repeatedly.
"No, no, no, no, no! Clouse, what's wrong with this thing?" He threw the remote in frustration, folding his arms and gritting his teeth while Clouse napped, oblivious to everything around him.
Now what? Chen shook his head and stomped his foot. "This is no fun!" he whined. Then, a thought occurred to him.
NINJAGO
"Remind me, Master Chen, why we are doing this."
"Shh! Not now, Clouse!" Chen hissed, wedging himself in the small closet next to the washing machine. He left the door a crack open as footsteps came from the hallway, and he clamped a hand over his associate's mouth, giving him a sharp look.
Someone was grumbling. "Uncle made me turn his clothes pink. Now I have to do another load," a pipsqueak voice muttered. A young boy who looked about ten or eleven stopped in front of the closet, brushing towhead blond hair out of his eyes. "Eighteen loads. This better be the last."
Lloyd sighed, checking the laundry again, and removing the gi from the washing machine. He shoved it in the dryer, satisfied with the result—it was the last time and he'd take a chore vacation after that. He chucked to himself. If only…
Shaking his head, he started across the room, his small shoulders slumped from exhaustion. Why couldn't he just go be a ninja or do something to help? Housework was the most tiring thing ever. Lloyd grinned, picturing himself in a black, stealthy gi jumping from roof to roof with the others.
Or maybe green. It was his favorite color, and he'd overheard something about a green ninja, although he knew it had to be someone else. Not him. Not rebellious, Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon from Darkley's Boarding School for Bad Boys.
While the boy halted a foot too close to the closet in a daze, Chen waited impatiently, holding his breath. Clouse's hair tickled his nose and he felt the inevitable sneeze prepare to launch little projectiles. He covered his mouth with both hands, eyes locked on the kid still standing right next to them.
Lloyd chuckled sinisterly, and grabbed a cardboard cylinder from the cabinet directly across from them. "He won't ever see it coming. Wait. Where'd they go?"
Chen clamped hit teeth on his trembling, bottom lip. Coming… Coming… Here! "Lloyd!" a voice yelled the moment the Master Noodle Maker released his built-up monster.
ACHOO!
"Yeah?" Lloyd slammed the door shut and folded his hands behind his back. Chen relaxed, but tensed again as someone else entered the room—Jay.
"Are you almost ready? I need your help."
"I'm on the last load."
"Great. Follow me." Jay winked and both scurried out, closing the door behind them.
After several moments, Chen pushed the closet open a crack further. Clouse poked his head out and then ducked back in, nodding. "All clear, Master Chen."
"Ohh, this is fun! Quick, swap them!" the shorter man giggled, practically jumping up and down from the euphoria. "Come on! Hurry up!"
Clouse roll his eyes, snatching the gi and stepping onto the wooden floorboards. They groaned beneath the added weight, but so far were stable, although rumor had it, pirates used to command the ship. It had to be really old. He hoped the structure wasn't decrepit from rotting beams, and continued forward with care.
Once at the dryer, he stared in bewilderment, eyes glancing between the closet and strange machine. He didn't know how to operate it without drawing attention, and didn't know how it worked in the first place. There were too many buttons. Press them randomly, he chided himself. The idiot he served did that all the time, and didn't seem to have a problem.
"Come on! Hurry!" Chen whispered.
Whatever. Clouse pressed one, which only made it twice as fast and much louder. Beep! "Cut that out! Someone's gonna hear!"
In a panic, Clouse punched them rapidly—top to bottom, left to right. Beep! Beep! Beep! Then he hit a large, grey button that resembled a rounded Shan (山).
It stopped.
Footsteps came from the hall, and two distant voices. Clouse popped open the clear plastic door, tossing the white suit in and then grabbing the pink one. Not as clean as Lloyd had thought.
"Hide!" Chen hissed.
Clouse abandoned the suit and dove for the closet, squishing himself in and pulled the door shut. "What had Jay called you for? I sense he's up to something," Zane said as he and Lloyd entered.
"Yeah…about that. It's just a prank we're gonna do."
"Oh?" Zane sounded mildly intrigued. "The purpose?"
"Ha ha. The guys told me you don't have a sense of humor. It's for fun. We're gonna scare Cole with a bunch of snakes."
Zane raised his eyebrows. "Serpentine?"
"Nah, toys. I think you're suit's about done. Let me take a look." Lloyd disappeared out of view, leaving the ice ninja in the intruders' vision. Chen stifled a laugh on sight of Zane's pajamas, and Clouse covered his mouth in time. "Here they—what?"
"What is it?"
"There's another suit in here. I don't remember putting it in."
Chen's amusement turned to fear and increased panic. What did Clouse just do? His associate winced, but didn't say anything, which only confirmed the termination of their swapping plans. L
loyd materialized with his back to the closet, two suits in hand. "Looks like I need to wash it again. Sorry, Zane." The ice ninja smiled, and tousled Lloyd's hair, shaking his head.
"It's all right. I sense this is the final load?"
"Really?" the boy asked hopefully. Chen almost fist pumped, but kicked Clouse on the shin as a satisfactory and temporary alternative.
Zane nodded.
"Cool!" Lloyd went out of sight again, skipping happily. "Finally! I've done—"
"Nineteen loads."
"Yeah. How'd you get a sixth sense anyway?" Zane shrugs. "You don't know? Did your parents have one too?"
The ninja shook his head again, and gestured to talk outside. "Okay, hang on a sec. I need to get my 'snakes'." Lloyd headed toward the cabinet where Chen and Clouse stood rigid as the boy reached for the door handle.
"Wait." The hand stopped.
"The snakes are in the kitchen under the sink," Zane said.
Lloyd scratched his neck, and grinned sheepishly, swiveling around to face the ice ninja. "Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot." Both headed out the door.
The intruders waited in the tense silence several minutes before Clouse ventured back to the machine. He wasted no time getting what he needed, and climbing through the large window with Chen, only to find The Bounty handed landed yet.
"I'm never doing this again," the Evil Master Noodle Maker complained, clutching onto the sill for all he was worth.
"Agreed, Master Chen," Clouse murmured, hands latched onto Chen's leg. "No more pink suits."
"No more."
A/N: XD I loved adressing the issue of Zane's pulse. If he was a robot the whole time, could Dr. Julien have built him so he had one? I wonder...
Humor is not my strongest point. :P The next chapter goes to (I'm way better at this) hurt/comfort! :) Thank you so much for reading and please review! Oh, and the picture's from my phone-random.
-Casey Aldrich
P.S. In case you're wondering what to prepare for, here's the list of the things I write most (but I can go without three and four in FF if it's Ninjago):
1. Action/Thriller (no kidding)
2. Fears (nightmares and psychological thriller included)
3. Gore
4. Character Death
5. Emotional Breakdowns (hurt/comfort between brothers or close friends)
