James was late to meet Celeste in the Entrance Hall, and as an upshot they'd missed the carriages down to Hogsmeade. He'd apologised profusely, but she didn't seem to mind having to walk. They'd spoken about quidditch all the way into town, and James found himself enjoying himself more than he thought he would, not even noticing how long it took them to get there. They'd tried the Three Broomsticks first, finding all the tables crowded with third and fourth years, and after James had scolded a number of third years for ordering a bottle of Firewhiskey, they decided to try their luck at the Hog's Head. Celeste had taken his hand in hers as they walked, and he couldn't say that he didn't enjoy the feeling, but he also couldn't say that he did. It made his stomach churn a bit; in a way he couldn't explain.
Relieved to be out of the cold, James shrugged his coat off once they were inside, and offered to take Celeste's as well. Once he'd hung them up by the door, her hand slid back into his as though it belonged there. Another wave of unease crashed over James, and he wished more than anything that he could explain it. He smiled at her nonetheless, guiding her to the bar. He was certain that he liked Celeste. She was witty, clever, gorgeous, and was a bloody brilliant chaser to boot. She'd given him a run for his money on the pitch more times than he was proud of, but there was just something about being out like this with her that he wasn't sure about. He could feel glares from blokes all around them, jealousy no doubt. James voiced that observation to Celeste, and she merely laughed – as though she had already been aware of it. When he glanced up once more, he caught sight of a pair of eyes he hadn't been expecting. Hers.
A different kind of wave almost knocked him over when Lily Evans' eyes locked his. Only this time he knew for certain that it was shame he was feeling. Like Evans knew that James didn't truly have feelings for Celeste Warren, like she was judging him for it.
"Oh," Celeste said as their drinks were placed in front of them, nodding towards a table by the window, "Isn't that Sirius? And Lily Evans?"
"Yeah," James replied, turning his attention to the other body at Evans' table. Certainly Sirius, "Yeah it is."
"How long have they been-?"
"They're not." James replied sharply. The Ravenclaw pulled a face before sipping at her drink, dropping the subject and leaning back on the barstool. James watched as Sirius snapped his fingers in front of Evans' face, drawing her attention away from him. He felt a burning sensation in his stomach that only later he'd realise was envy. He's wanted to keep Lily's attention; he'd wanted it all to himself. Mentally scolding himself, he tried to turn his attention back to the girl beside him, until Sirius glanced over at the bar – at James and Celeste – and turned back to Evans without so much as a wave 'hello'. James glanced at the tables around Lily and Sirius', only to find many of the occupants were wearing the same sceptical expression that Celeste had worn. So, people thought they were on a date. It certainly looked like a date. Sirius had his hand on hers, she was sipping a Firewhiskey he'd clearly bought for her – She'd told James that she hardly ever drank the stuff, but he also knew that she was too polite to turn it down when it was given to her. So Sirius had brought her to the Hogs Head, where he knew James was unlikely to be, and blatantly ignored him when he'd spotted them. The nerve, James thought bitterly.
Evans had her hands in her face, as though she were trying to hide from him. Only it was too late, he'd seen enough already. As Sirius' hand moved from her hand to her shoulder, James knocked back the last of his drink and placed his empty glass down on the bar.
Celeste touched his shoulder gently, "James, you okay?"
"I – yeah, yeah I'm fine." He said, frowning slightly at the pair once more. Evans had her head up enough to catch his gaze again, and his insides writhed at the idea of Sirius being the one to comfort her, Sirius being the one to hold her hand. He tore his eyes from hers and back to Celeste. He tried to return her smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Only a few seconds passed before her smile turned to a sad one, and her hand was on his arm.
"It's okay, y'know."
"What?"
"You and Evans."
"Me and Evans what?" He asked, his eyes widening.
She gave him another sad, knowing smile, as though she'd been able to hear his thoughts, "I appreciate that you tried, James, but there's really no point us going on when you're heart isn't in it. I'd rather know now than later if I don't really have a chance." She gave a pointed glance to the table by the window.
"Celeste-" He tried to argue, but he had no words to follow. His throat felt dry, and he suddenly knew what the wave that crashed over him whenever she touched him was: guilt. She was right, his heart wasn't in it, and it never had been. "I'm so sorry." He finished lamely, his hand running through his hair.
She pulled an 'all well' face, before smiling at him again, "S'okay. We can still be friends, right? Quidditch mates and that?"
"Yeah, 'course." He said in a small voice. She kissed his cheek, her lips soft against his skin. She squeezed his arm gently, and made her way to the door.
"Oh, and James?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't wait too long. Timing isn't everything."
Then she was gone, and James felt simultaneously awful and relieved. His relief didn't exactly last long though, when Sirius appeared at the bar beside him - ordering three Firewhiskey's - he felt the bitter envy boiling in his gut again.
"What happened to Warren, mate?"
"Gone. Ended it. You could have told me, y'know."
"Told you what?"
"That you fancied her."
"Warren? I don't."
"Not Warren. Evans." James nodded to the table that Lily was occupying by herself, avidly avoiding eye contact with him.
Sirius raised an eyebrow so slowly that it must have taken some impressive control. He suddenly groaned, and turned to the glasses of Firewhiskey that were waiting for him on the bar. He picked one up quickly and drank it in one large mouthful. Sirius glanced at James, deciding that he needed another of the glasses to deal with the situation, he treated the next the same way he had treated the first.
"You're supposed to be my mate, I figured if there was one girl you'd at least show some restraint towards, it would be her-"
"Drink this," Sirius said firmly, forcing the remaining glass into his hand, "And go talk to her, before I hex myself into oblivion so I no longer have to have any more of these conversations."
James opened his mouth to argue but Sirius placed a finger on the bottom of the glass, silently telling him to drink it, to do as he says. Narrowing his eyes, James did as he was told, before making his way over to Lily. He watched her shoulders tense as he sat down opposite her, and he wondered what he could have done to make her so uncomfortable.
"You and Sirius aren't on a date, are you?" He asked, the words tumbling from his mouth before he could stop them.
She gaped at him, and he immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say, "No. What is the matter with you?"
He ran a hand through his hair and thought of the way he must have made Celeste feel, the way he'd clearly already thrown Lily into a spin. He sighed, leaning forward on his elbows, "So much."
"Where'd she go?"
"Hmm?"
"Warren. Your date." He wasn't sure whether her emphasis was on 'your' or 'date'. He also wasn't sure what to make of her tone either way.
"We're done."
"Oh," She said in a small voice, "I'm sorry."
"Are you?" James asked suddenly, "I'm not. Not really. I mean… I feel guilty that I lead her on but it's probably better this way."
"How did you lead her on?"
"You ever dated someone whose heart wasn't really in it, Evans? Someone who was only killing time until-" He groaned, both hands running through his hair, "Of course you haven't. If someone's dating you it's certainly because they want to be."
"Do you want to?"
"Do I want to what, Evans?"
"Want to date me?"
It was like the whole world faded out, until it was just the two of them left, "Is that question out of curiosity, or are you asking me to actually date you?"
"I'm tired of poor timing," She said softly, unlocking her hands and reaching across the table to take one of his, "Aren't you?"
"Answer the question, Evans." He whispered, desperate to know the answer. He laced his fingers with hers, turning her hand over in his.
"The latter. Go out with me, James?"
He couldn't kiss her, not having just broken up with Celeste less than ten minutes ago. He knew it was callous, he knew it was almost heartless to agree to go out with Lily Evans so soon, but what had Celeste said about timing? Instead he pressed his lips to the back of her hand, kissing the soft skin he'd only dreamed about, and nodded. James' heart swelled in his chest, his pulse thudding throughout his body. He glanced up at her and whispered against her hand,
"Remind me to snog you senseless later."
"Deal."
