A/N: Second chapter up. I own nothing but the plot.
Lady hated flying. It wasn't the fear of flying itself that actually bothered her but the entire cumbersome process itself. Getting the fake ID and passport, then saving up the cash to get a seat where she wasn't being flanked by a noisy kid and an obese guy with his own damn climate. Sneaking weapons was a whole other process – she couldn't bring her conventional firearms or even knives, so the shitty little plastic or fibreglass ones would have to do.
Right now, she was experiencing the other "perks" of flying – a crappy movie portraying vampires as sparkly pretty boys and not the borderline demented blood junkies they were.
"Chicken or beef?" asked the stewardess who had come over with her cart filled with meal trays and of course, booze.
Lady shrugged; it didn't really matter anyway, as long as the booze was there.
A few hours later, the huntress was finding herself relaxed all things considering. The alcohol had done wonders and the movie was winding down, meaning she didn't have to deal with the squealing of several teenage girls on board. They still had about ten hours to go and with that thought, she asked for a pillow and blanket to get some sleep.
She was about to settle into a slumber when she felt her phone vibrating once again against her hip pocket. Quickly pulling the device out, she glared disbelievingly into the screen – she had turned the device off as per the instructions of the airplane staff, but it seemed to have turned itself on.
Caller: Dante.
Cursing softly, she pressed the button to receive the call once again.
"Lady, where are you right now?" came the familiar baritone from the earpiece.
"I'm on a goddamn plane right now," she hissed. "The stewardess is going to kill me if she sees me taking this call – not to mention I'm probably fucking up their radar system."
Dante let out another laugh. "Don't worry about it, we're not exactly using regular airwaves here."
Lady rubbed the bridge of her nose. "That's one way to put it. Why are you calling anyway?"
"I don't know – just feeling kinda lonely I guess."
"That's unusual for you, Mr-Life-Of-The-Party."
"Can't really talk too much here – if they hear about the old family tree, I'm getting the feeling they won't be jumping for joy."
The female hunter's stomach suddenly felt a bit warm; the tell-tale sign that she was beginning to feel sorry for him. It wasn't like it was unfamiliar – based on the fragments she would hear from Dante himself or some of his colleagues, he didn't exactly live a charmed childhood. She had been there during the catastrophe involving Vergil and her father, and the war wounds had been dulled but still hadn't disappeared completely.
"Hey, Lady, you there?"
"Yeah. Listen, I brought your dog-nunchucks and that lightning sword. Think that should be enough for your bail?"
"Wait a sec," said Dante. Lady heard a muffled "Two different Devil Arms. Think that'll do?"
Straining her ears, she heard a muffled response to Dante's question, undoubtedly male. That's right; if he was getting a phone call, there must have been somebody standing guard.
"Lady, you mind talking to this asshole here?" asked the half-devil with a laugh. "Guy won't shut up about the human world."
Lady swallowed. She really didn't want to hear anymore about what kind of damage Dante did to beings that took souls for a living. "Er..."
"Yo, is this 'Lady'?" asked the voice replacing Dante's. Oddly, she could detect a few similar traits in the speech pattern – it was laidback and carefree, something she got used to hearing in the devil hunter's voice.
"Yes, who's this?" she sighed, resigned to the fact that she was going to have another impromptu chat session with Shinigami.
"My name's Shunsui Kyōraku and I suppose you could say I'm an employee over here," the man continued, amusement in his voice. Lady found it oddly calming to know that even Death Gods had something resembling a sense of humour.
"Nice talking to you, Kyōraku-san" responded Lady, digging up the minimum amount of Japanese she had learned in her youth. "Hope Dante didn't hurt any of you too badly."
Shunsui let out a low whistle. "Oh, you speak Japanese! Guess that makes the auto-translate feature on the phone kinda redundant, eh?"
"No, I'm not really that good at it."
The man's voice took on a light, friendlier note. "Well, maybe I can teach you a bit when you get here. And please, call me – ow! Nanao-chan, please don't be jealous! I'm just offering some hospitality to our – "
A scuffle ensued on the other line as Lady heard a distinctly female voice interrupt the conversation, sounding very cross about something.
"Lady, you mind if I put you on speaker over here?" asked Dante, chuckling at whatever was going on.
She wanted to throw her hands up in defeat but that would just result in the stewardess bringing another shot of whiskey and she really didn't need the hangover.
A click signified the phone at the Shinigami's end being turned to speaker mode.
"Sorry for the disturbance, Lady-san," said Shunsui in an apologetic voice. "I wanted to ask you about the 'demons' you said you hunt in the human world."
A lengthy conversation ensued with Lady explaining all she knew about demons – the different types, their behaviours, attacks patterns and weaknesses. She carefully left out the parts about Sparda and his sons, at least not while she couldn't do anything at the moment to help Dante if the need arose.
"Excuse me? This is Lieutenant Nanao Ise speaking," said a stern sounding woman from Dante's end. "If it's alright with you, Miss Lady, may I know how long you've known Mr. Dante?"
Lady's fist clenched – the other guy, Shunsui, must have been lowering her guard down by pretending to be a hapless dork so this woman could go in for the kill.
"About ten years now," she responded, keeping her voice even. "He may be a jackass and a skirt chasing lunatic, but he's mostly harmless."
"I know how that feels..." muttered Nanao.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. As for how 'harmless' he is, I'm sure you've heard of the massive property damage your friend has caused?"
"Yeah, I have some idea..." Lady replied with a groan.
"He's injured 6th Division Captain Byakuya Kuchiki, 6th Division Lieutenant Renji Abarai, 8th Division Captain, my captain, Kyōraku Shunsui..."
"He's a captain?" asked Lady disbelievingly. Well, it wasn't so surprising if she thought about it; Dante liked to pull the brainless act too before he slaughtered every non-human thing in a room.
Nanao cleared her throat. "Our substitute Soul Reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki also sustained several injuries while his friends sustained minor ones. As for the property damage, he has also destroyed three of our main squad barracks during his escape attempt – we were lucky no one was hurt or else – "
"Shhh, that's enough Nanao-chan," placated Captain Kyoraku. "Byakuya's doing fine and from what I've heard, Ichigo's itchin' for another shot at Dante here!"
"But Captain, the paperwork for this..." came the protest from Nanao.
"Why don't you take the week off? You got dusted pretty good in that fight too," offered Captain Kyoraku. "Let the old man worry about this one, alright?"
"But Sir..."
"That's an order!" Kyoraku sing-songed with a laugh.
Lady heard a growl.
"Yes, sir. Miss Lady, it was nice talking to you, but I suppose I must make my leave now."
There was a short moment of silence as she heard padded footsteps and a sliding door close, signifying the Shinigami Lieutenant's departure.
"Is she gone?" asked Dante.
"Yeah. Alright, let's continue where we left off."
Straining her ears once again, she heard a clinking noise and what she was sure was the sound of a liquid being poured from a bottle and into a cup.
"Bottoms up."
"Cheers."
The female hunter felt her ears burn red with annoyance. "Are the both of you getting drunk right now?"
"Yeah, this brandy stuff is damn good!" replied Captain Kyoraku with a laugh. "I gotta tell you Lady-san, this guy's just full of suprises! First, he fights me, Byakuya and Ichigo all at the same time; then he survives my bankai. I've never seen anything like it."
"Bankai?"
The Shinigami snorted."Trust me, you don't want to know."
The odd mixture of annoyance and fear began to rattle Lady's spine. The 'goofball' act was definitely just an act with this one – he was a lot more perceptive than he let on. Again, the similarities to Dante was astounding; probably the reason why they were bestest drinking buddies right now.
"Look, can I get some sleep now please?" asked Lady, rubbing an eye and stretching."I have seven hours to go and I'm betting I'm gonna wake up about twenty times every time some kid starts crying."
"Oh, sure, alright. Dante, you wanna say anything?"
"Sweet dreams, Lady. Wish you were here."
"Whatever." Lady grumbled, before instantly feeling bad for saying it. "See you soon."
