Desolation Anxiety : Chapter 2 Title : Desolation Anxiety (2/?)

Author name : Random

Author email : lostophelia@hotmail.com

Spoilers : All four books

Rating : PG-13

Summary : Due to anger management problems, Harry and Draco find themselves stuck in the most unusual of places. The two try to work out their differences in a calm and civil manner. Too bad that doesn't work as well as they thought.

Disclaimer : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Note : The following story takes place sometime after the fourth book, most likely in Harry's sixth year. Don't ask me, I'm only writing this thing.


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Have you ever feared having the precious comfort of what has always been being taken away? I've heard over and over again how delicate life is and how careful we must choose our decisions, as they shape us over time. That may be so, but have you ever had something taken away from you that meant so very much to you and no one even knew, let alone cared? If you haven't, then you probably won't understand how I felt, walking through that tunnel, trying to ignore the glances I was receiving out of the corner of Harry Potter's eyes.

Because if you haven't known what it is to lose every single ounce of that comfort and safety you've always had, then you can't possibly begin to even understand how I felt.

Truthfully, what happened back at that dead end was not intentional in any way for me. I had been so angry at Potter, for six years worth of everything. For a split moment, I had thought we were going to kill each other, as he was just as angry as I was.

Too bad I had to ruin it all, isn't it?

That moment is burned into my mind and somehow the memory keeps bleeding into my vision, which is probably why I feel so utterly hopeless at the moment. Life has never been fair, but this is beyond anything else.

I absolutely hate Potter for every possible thing that's happened to me in my life, which is why I automatically assume that he'll return my hatred at full blast. This is how I want my life to be and for someone to take it away is like being struck. Or maybe it's more a cold realization that, with my luck, the whole school will know of this and I'll never live it down.

My comfort is the absolutely beautiful barrier I've managed to put up between Potter and myself. Hatred and loathing go through, but anything else manages to stay where it belongs. Apparently I'm too fucking stupid to consider that I would be the one that would take my own comfort away.

And for what? A moment of the most comforting pain I've ever felt; it almost seemed beyond twisted. No one else can probably imagine how I felt there, either. No one ever does, do they?

Well, imagine if you were to be pushed off a building and were plummeting to your inevitable death. Then imagine if you looked up and saw that no one pushed you off except yourself. That's how I feel.
"Oh, Harry, I forgot to tell you!" Longbottom says suddenly, stopping and turning to look at Potter, who smiles at the other Gryffindor. "Seamus is down here somewhere, too."

For a moment, Potter's smile fades and he looks as if he's just about to give up and start screaming in frustration. Somehow, he manages a surprised look and then even one of puzzlement. "How did you two get down here anyway? And where is Seamus?"

"I don't know, I lost him when we started getting chased by this big slime thing."

"'Big slime thing', Longbottom? Really, great description."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Potter says, although he voices lacks malice and he suddenly looks very tired. "Neville, we had better find Seamus before we leave."

No more was spoken out of any of us for a long period of time after that. There wasn't anything to say really. Potter seemed more exasperated than angry; or maybe he was just worn out. Whichever it was, he didn't fancy the idea of saying anything else, so that was just perfect with me.

I was very tired of this whole day and everything that had come along with it. If anyone told me I would be brooding so much over a kiss then I wouldn't have listened to a word they had to say. But the fact of the matter was, it wasn't just a kiss. It was a kiss between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, which meant that life was about to get a tad bit worse for everyone.

How? Well, I can certainly assure you that I'm not letting this whole matter slide until I get reassurance that Potter isn't going to blab to the whole school about what happened. While I'm at it, I'll go ahead and threaten Longbottom to tears, too. If Potter refuses, then I'll just have to blow Hogwarts up, that's all there is to it.

All right, so maybe that's pushing it, but it's how I feel at the moment.

I'm snapped back to reality as I fall headfirst in the murky water again. This whole thing was becoming irritatingly familiar and I just knew I would never live any of this down. Whether it be about my impeccable grace as of late or...other things.

Sitting up was as far as I got, since I didn't really see the entire purpose of getting on my own two feet again. Nothing was going right, so why not just sit here until my body rotted and my corpse was devoured by mutant beetles.

"Malfoy, are you coming or not?"

I looked up slowly, finally allowing myself a very comforting, very chilling smile. "Not, Potter, but do have fun."

"Would you stop being dramatic already? It was and still is your fault, but you don't see me whining about it, do you?" Potter inquired, although he looked very tense all of the sudden. "If we just pretend it never happened then we can both go on with our lives."

How....admirable of him.

"Oh, of course, Potter, let us just forget the whole thing, shall we?"

How can I forget, Potter? How can I possibly forget? I've done plenty of downright stupid things in my life, but this is beyond my normal capabilities. Apparently I've outdone myself this time.

I really wish I could, you know. If I could just forget this happened, then maybe I could convince myself that it didn't happen. Maybe I could....Maybe I could.

He gives me another exasperated look. "Would you just stop being sarcastic for once?"

How can he be so damned calm about all of this?! He hasn't even tried to kill me yet! What is he on? How can I be on the verge of going insane (no, wait, I already am, aren't I?) and he's acting as if absolutely nothing happened!

Maybe Potter has already gone insane.

"No, Potter, I won't. I've apparently lost all sanity and I'm not going to stop now, oh no, I'm just going to continue on."

I've tried to be calm about this, but either I'm just not trying hard enough or I've simply had enough. For just once I want something to go right in my life. Just once.

"You already were insane and now you're blaming me for all of this, aren't you? Have you ever considered the fact that maybe I didn't like any of this any more than you did, but that doesn't change anything, does it?" Potter was practically radiating anger by this time. "Sitting here and whining about something you did isn't going to just make it go away, is it? So, instead of acting like a child, why don't you try and help us find the exit?"

If I wasn't so unsure about how exactly Potter had gotten to be the leader in this conversation, then I might have noticed that he was shaking with rage. If it hadn't been for the fact that he was Harry Potter and I was Draco Malfoy, I might have noticed the humor in all of this. If Longbottom hadn't chosen that moment to alert us that we had somehow gotten to the exit (although how, I have no idea), then maybe I might have even just broke down and laughed right then.

It was all just so damned hilarious; really, it was.

Humor was only added when I realized that what I had previously tripped over was one of my, now chewed and disgusting, boots. Either my boot was following me, or Potter and I had been at the exit in the beginning and hadn't even noticed.


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You can't possibly understand the complete relief I felt as we climbed out of that tunnel and were actually able to breathe fresh, clean air. How wonderful it was to not be trudging through slimy water.

I had another sudden urge to get up and jump around, but somehow I managed to contain myself.

The fact that we had just came out in the Forbidden Forest helped keep my excitement down just a tad.

"I don't believe this," Potter sighed, leaning heavily against a tree. Longbottom, who was still climbing out of the tunnel, didn't look all that worried at all. Maybe he hadn't even noticed where we were yet....

Not that it even mattered. I was too busy fighting with the now screaming voice in my head, trying to figure out how in the seventh layer of hell we had ended up here. Why have a tunnel leading to the Forbidden Forest?! Why even have a tunnel in the first place?!

No Defense Against The Dark Arts book is worth this much trouble.

"Oh, Harry, I remember Fred and George telling us about this!" Longbottom exclaimed, smiling brightly. "Remember?"

"....No?"

"You don't remember? But you were there- No....Wait....That must have been Ron....Well, it was one of you."

".....Neville?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"How is it possible to get Ron and I confused?"

"I really wasn't paying all that much attention, Harry."

"....I see."

Really, this has been a splendid day.

Potter pushed himself up off the tree and brushed his hands on the side of his robes. "Did they say anything useful about the tunnel, Neville?"

Climbing to his feet and casting a glance around at our surroundings, Longbottom shook his head. "No, they just mentioned that they had seen it once, but hadn't had time to explore it. Something about Filch and exploding Canary Creams."

....All of the Weasleys are mad, I tell you. Stark raving MAD. Or perhaps they aren't.....After all, they didn't snog Harry Potter, now did they?

Am I the only one that doesn't see the complete insanity of this all?!

....Maybe I am losing it.

"Well, we had better at least try to get out of here. At least it isn't night yet," Potter replies, starting off in the general northwest direction.

I really do hate optimistic people. Everything good will always happen. There is always some bloody hope for us all. Sure there is.

Longbottom nods his agreement and follows Potter, still quite happy for some reason. Perhaps it's just his nature to be completely oblivious. Although, he strikes me as being smarter than that; or as smart as a Gryffindor can get.

Have I mentioned I dislike the Forbidden Forest? Not because it's particularly dangerous (okay, so it is, but that's beside the point), but simply because I'm here instead of tucked safely in my bed- Wait a minute....

Wait just a damned minute.

When did it become daylight?! I could have absolutely sworn that, when I left my common room, it was nearly midnight. There is no way we spent that much time in that forsaken tunnel. .....Right?

You know, I keep expecting for someone to jump out at any given moment, laugh, and then pat me on the back and tell me what a wonderful joke it all was. Then, of course, I would have to kill them; too bad it hasn't happened yet.

"Harry, do you think we'll be out of here soon?" Longbottom asks, running to catch up with the both of us, as he keeps getting sidetracked by looking at everything.

"I hope so, Neville."

Of course you do, Potter, of course you do. You know what I hope? I hope that someday your body is fried alive and made into duck food. Doesn't that sound positively wonderful?

Then I'll never have to look at your damned face ever again.


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It took exactly two hours for the three of us to realize that we had been walking in a gigantic circle all of this time and hadn't made any progress towards getting out of here. I suppose it was when Potter and I started fighting over who was at fault there that Longbottom was actually the one to alert us that he could see an opening (or exit, if you'd rather) a few feet away.

Apparently Potter and I have this hard time grasping the obvious. Either that or Longbottom is very observant.

Therefore, it was with all of us soaked and exhausted that came crawling out of the forest, and somehow managed to drag ourselves all the way back up to the castle.

I must say....I have never been happier to see Hogwarts. Just the mere thought that I would soon be safely tucked away in my common room was the most comfort I had felt in a while. Of course, none of this was helped by the fact that McGonagall somehow knew the exact moment we would enter the castle and was impatiently waiting for us.

She looked as if she had been out there with us, to say the truth. Perhaps worry does that to a person.

Potter was already looking guilty about the whole mess. Longbottom had somehow managed to come in behind Potter and myself, therefore the lucky Gryffindor got to use us as a shield from the Professor's wrath. And as for me? I was just ready for her to start yelling and taking away points.

And she did look as if she might start screaming at any moment. Beyond looking extremely tired, she looked like we had just killed someone, rather than just go missing for most of the night.

"Mr. Malfoy."

Here it comes....Apparently she's going to attack me first. Oh, goody.

"Where are your shoes?"

Someone shoot me.



Author Notes (even more of 'em): Thank all of you very much for the reviews of the first chapter, as well as for reading this chapter here. For those of you that mentioned the snog in chapter one seemed sketchy and without much reason: thanks for noticing :) It is intended though and should be explained later on (should be, because you never know with me). Even though no one noticed, apparently I misspelled "Gryffindor" several times in the first chapter. Apologies all around for the slip-up ^_^;

Hey, you know, we might actually get some plot into this story later on. Wow. I suppose that means I'll need to think of one then. Although, at this rate, there is a very good chance there will be quite a few slashy pairings in this story. Because, quite simply, I adore slash.