CHAPTER 2 - Remembering

Obi-Wan tells Yoda what happened between him and Padmé...

Author's notes: Well, I don't know if it realistic that Obi and Yoda talk about Obi's forbidden and hopeless love...But I just had to write down this. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy what came out of my damn sick brain...*lol*

Disclaimer: I do not own SW, etc...

Lyrics: "Yours Forever", John Mellencamp





He was standing in the middle of the room and felt like a child, caught in the act of doing something forbidden. But he could not change it anymore. It was done. He had realized his feelings, had told her that he'd always love her, let her have a look into his deepest soul. He had shared his thoughts and his memories with her. Her, a girl, who is as young as wise. But she was more than that, more than just a girl. She was the queen. Out of reach after that innocent kiss they had shared. It had been a kiss of goodbye and he had wanted to make her remember him forever.

"You wanted to see me, Obi-Wan..." Yoda's voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, master Yoda." the young Jedi master replied. He could not stop thinking about what had happened between him and Padmé. It put a strain on his mind, so he decided to tell Yoda about what had happened, anyway, he knew it would be senseless trying to hide it from him. Obi-Wan was sure that Yoda already knew what was going on inside him.

"Many things your thoughts are telling me. Pictures I see. Pictures of her I see. To make a confession you are here." Yoda murmured.

"I cannot hide what my thoughts reveal...I don't really know her, but every time I see her, something is going through me. She is inside me, master." Obi-Wan tried to explain. But actually he didn't understand it himself.

How can I feel that way for someone I don't even know. Well, actually I know her...but not that good...I mean, we've spoken two or three words. Words about war and fight. Battles...That's got nothing to do with love. But why do I love her ? There is no explanation. Maybe these rare silent moments when I was able to look at her, to study every part of her beautiful face made me fall in love with her.

"Touched with love you are. Love...no influence the Force has on it. Need her you do..." Yoda answered. It sounded so wise what he said. But suddenly, Obi-Wan shook his head. Everything he says sounds wise and right. But I knew that before... the Jedi thought.

"But you know that it is impossible. And so do I. Master..." Obi-Wan returned.

"True. Your duty you must do. Live without her you can ?"

"I have to. I don't want to kill us both...And I mustn't be selfish...Because I know where selfishness leads to. The dark side..." he said quietly.

"Wise you are, Obi-Wan. A lot you learned. But easy it is not. Strong your feelings are and forget her you can't." Yoda said.

"You're right. I can't. Can't you give me some advice ?" Yoda saw the desperation in the young Jedi's face.

"Have her you can't...But remember her you can..."

"You mean, I should remember that one moment we shared as lovers and make it last forever...Remember the beauty of that moment, the affection of that one kiss...Use the memory to light up darker days ?" Yoda nodded.

"As you told her...What happened you cannot change. Make the best of it..."





She was sitting in her room, thinking about the kiss. The kiss which had tasted of honey and salt at the same time. And every time she closed her eyes, the visions of Obi-Wan's life reappeared, the feelings returned.

I just can't forget that kiss...The kiss which tasted of honey and salt at the same time. Bittersweet like the symphony of life...These soft lips caressing my face, kissing away my tears. I know, I know. Our future is uncertain. Can I say our future anyway. He's a Jedi knight. Not allowed to love. And what are we now ? A pair of star-crossed lovers ? Must we die to live in love and peace ? No, running away is no solution. Never. And that's not me, Obi-Wan would say. And why can't we be together ? Because of the Force ? The Jedi ? The upcoming battles ? There are so many reasons. And maybe these reasons can make a life together impossible. But they will never take the memory of that kiss, that moment. They can't make me forget my feelings. They can't make the words unspoken. They can't. Maybe I have to face this life without him. But not eternity.





Here we are in the greys of winter

Here we are, just me and you

Hold my hand, let's face tomorrow

Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you

This precious time we've only borrowed

The autumn wind has blown on through

A quiet thought will tell our story

Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you

Yes tomorrow still hold out its hands to you



So here are some wings - they're yours forever

And here are some dreams that will come true

Take these tears

To wash away your sorrow

Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you

Yes tomorrow still holds out its hands to you