A/N: I wanted to specifically thank all of the wonderful people who reviewed my first chapter (Especially karu0792, your post made my day!) . Thanks to you I am going to continue the story. However, I should warn you all now: this is my first ever fan fic and I have no idea where I am going with it... I also do not have a beta, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors which I do not catch.

Chapter 2

Overwhelmed by emotions, Elissa continued staring at the now closed door to her office. The door he had just exited. Alistair. Alistair was alive...and at the Keep.

Elissa reached for the Brandy stored in her bottom drawer, poured a shot and gulped it down. Disbelief warred with anger, confusion and...something else, a softer, more pleasant emotion which Elissa firmly denied feeling.

I can't...I don't want...DAMN IT! Why is he here! Elissa thought.

Elissa crossed her arms on her desk and rested her head on her arms, allowing the emotions to overwhelm her. Seeing him again brought back all of the memories which Elissa had spent three years forbidding herself from thinking about, pretending they never happened; their first meeting, the innocent flirting, that first night spent together, waking up in his arms...and the landsmeet.

They had been so close. And then he was gone. Gone and she didn't know whether he was alive or dead. All she knew was that, despite all of his promises, despite their love, he wouldn't even give her the chance to explain. All she knew was that she had not been enough to make him stay.

Elissa stayed like that for a long time, attempting to regain control over her emotions as she finally allowed herself to remember that year and a half spent fighting the blight.

. . .

From the corner of her eye Elissa noticed that it was now dark outside. When did that happen? Elissa sat up and stretched her arms above her head. Great, now my neck is stiff, Elissa thought.

So now what? I had to let him rejoin. 'Anything to defeat the darkspawn', Elissa thought in a sarcastic tone. I'll just keep my distance from him. Treat him like any other recruit. Any other recruit who betrayed and abandoned you, Elissa's anger retorted.

A sudden knock at the door startled Elissa. "Commander?"

Trying to get her adrenaline back under control Elissa answered, "Yes?"

Varel opened the door and poked his head inside. "I noticed you were not at dinner this evening. Is there anything I can bring you?"

Elissa smiled. "No thank you Varel. I believe I will simply retire early this evening."

"Very well Commander."

Elissa stood up, exited her office and headed straight for bed, exhausted from the day's events.

After closing Elissa's door Alistair hurried to catch up with Matthew. The pair walked through the Keep until they arrived at the barracks. It was one large room filled with a dozen beds for recruits and new wardens. Down the hall were several private rooms, reserved for wardens of higher rank. Several wardens were present, some relaxing and reading, others cleaning their armor or talking. Although Nate had his own room, he was chatting with one of the new recruits.

"Alistair" Matthew said, "you can take this bunk. Nathaniel, this is Alistair. He's a new recruit. The Commander said he's all yours." With that Matthew bowed to Nate and the other wardens and left to rejoin his post at the entrance to the Keep.

Nate looked over at Alistair, his eyes filled with suspicion. "Alistair, huh?"

Before Alistair could respond, a loud burp echoed through the room. "Sodding pike twirler! Where is he? Let me at 'em!" Oghren stumbled out of his room, ran face-first into a wall, then started moving toward Alistair.

Anders poked his head out of his room to see what all the commotion was. He saw Oghren advancing on the guest that the Commander was talking to earlier. Hmm...Oghren looks like he's gonna kill the new guy. Finally something interesting happens around here! Anders thought.

By now Alistair had started backing up, hoping to avoid the impending death via dwarf. Oghren raised his hands as if to swing an axe at Alistair, only to realize there was nothing in his hands.

"Where's my axe? I'll cleave him in two!" Oghren yelled.

Anders walked into the barracks to find a better vantage point from which to watch the evening's entertainment, a smile on his face.

"Oghren. Hi. So, ummm...so you're a warden now?" Alistair stuttered, while continuing to back away from the angry dwarf.

"You abandoned her. You abandoned us to fight the archdemon alone!" Oghren yelled. Having given up on finding his axe, Oghren was now looking around the room for anything which would function as a weapon.

Anders smile faded and he stood up. "Wait. You're that warden?" Anders's face turned to rage as he began advancing on Alistair too. "You abandoned the Commander and your duty as a Grey Warden! How dare you show your face here!"

While spinning around looking for any weapon he could find, Oghren turned a little too quickly, and promptly fell face-first onto the floor. Anders simply stepped over the now unconscious dwarf and continued advancing on Alistair, lightning crackling between his fingers.

"Enough!" Nate said. "Anders, take Oghren back to his room and then return to yours."

Anders gave Alistair one last look of hatred before complying with Nate's command. As Anders dragged an unconscious and snoring Oghren into his room, Nate motioned for Alistair to follow him out of the room.

Alistair followed Nate through the hallway, the dining area and into the kitchen.

"Hey, Nathaniel, is it? Thanks for..."

"Shut your mouth traitor." Nate interrupted Alistair. "The commander may have allowed you to rejoin the wardens, but she put you under my command. Personally, I would have executed you on the spot. But since you're here, you can make yourself useful. These dishes need to be washed. After you're done you may retire to your bunk."

Alistair glanced around the room and groaned. There were stacks and stacks of dishes covering every surface, many of which had baked on food. This is going to take all night! Alistair thought.

Nate turned to leave with a satisfied look on his face.

Hours later Alistair stretched, trying to regain feeling in his freezing, pruned fingers. Although Alistair had spent months training to prepare to rejoin the wardens, his arms still ached from the hours of tough scrubbing.

After the landsmeet Alistair had immediately boarded a ship for Antiva. Alistair spent the next two years drinking to forget the pain. He slept most nights on the streets, huddled in garbage for warmth, his coin spent on alcohol. While he often had to fight off bandits and other miscreants it wasn't until he was robbed and beaten to within an inch of his life that Alistair decided he had to sober up and do something with his life. Alistair stopped drinking and saved up his money until he had enough to catch a ship to Highever.

When he arrived Alistair began searching for the home where Duncan grew up. All Alistair found was the remains of a burned building, likely destroyed during the blight. However, while searching through the rubble Alistair found Duncan's old journal.

After reading it, Alistair finally realized that he had been wrong. Elissa had done the right thing. And he had condemned her for it. The memory of how he abandoned Elissa tore through his body, ripping open old wounds which he had tried to pretend were gone. He knew what he had to do.

It was that day that he began his training, preparing to return to the Grey Wardens, to Elissa.

Alistair looked around the room to ensure that he had washed every single dish. Seeing that he had, Alistair walked back to the barracks. Perhaps I can catch an hour or two of sleep, Alistair thought glumly. However, when Alistair walked to his bed, he found the sheets gone and the mattress soaked with...urine.

Alistair closed his eyes, breathed slowly and tried to control his emotions. Since there was no where to sleep in the barracks, Alistair made his way to the stables. I'll just curl up in the hay, just like when I was a child. Alistair bunched up some hay in the corner of the stable, curled into the fetal position and shivered while allowing a few tears to escape.