"Thank you for covering the funeral Mr. Mustang," Riza replied, as she and Roy stood in front of her father's newly dug grave. It was made of a plain grey stone, cold stone. It seemed so final, yet her father had been sick so long. Now it seemed the long struggle had finally come to an end. Riza had cared for her father, she had loved him, and feared him, but he was her only family never the less. Seeing him suffer the way he had made his death upsetting but also almost relieving.
Was Riza happy he had used her as his own personal sketchpad? No. But that showed that even though Hawkeye was not the most loving parent, he did trust her judgment completely. Riza thought that in its own strange way that was a means her father used to show his love for her. Even when Riza thought over what had gone on inside her father's head she still didn't think she would ever understand him completely. She had to remember though that he had hurt her. She was going to be burdened with this the rest of her life.
"He was my master anyway, it's the least I can do,"
Maybe it was how passionately he had talked about his dream, maybe it was because he wanted to protect people with it, maybe it was because even though he had stopped caring or maybe never even did about her she still cared deeply about him. Whatever it was she knew what was the right decision . But could she truly trust him? She knew she shouldn't involve personal feelings with the greater good but could she really bring her self to give him the most important thing in her father's life? After everything that's happened…. No. she mustn't think of herself when she should be thinking of the thousands that could be protected by him. How could she be so selfish? She had to show him, no matter how much her emotions were against it. Roy was sure he wanted to use this for good. So she should trust him. And once he got it he would leave this place again, permanently and maybe this time she could finally move on with her life!
Riza lead Roy back to the house quickly, as if, if she didn't hurry home and show him she would lose her confidence in the decision she made and change her mind. Riza knew that wasn't the case, her mind was made up. Maybe she was just anxious to get the awkward situation out of the way. Roy had to jog to catch up with her, walking at her side silently. At least that didn't change, she missed walking next to him.
She opened the front door and went up the stairs. She felt this odd sensation, as if she was numb. But every step she took made her feel more and more overwhelmed with the horrible emotion of shame. She felt like a bad egg, like damaged goods and Roy of all people was the last person she wanted thinking that.
Finally they got to the study, Riza finding it a far more appropriate place as oppose to her bedroom. Riza held the door open for Roy and then moved to stand in front of him. She didn't bother to explain when she began to unbutton her shirt, slowly and carefully, trying not the fumble with the garment.
"Riza, wait wha—" he started realizing just what was going on, she could hear the embarrassment in his voice. Then she let the shirt fall to the floor, quite a dramatic gesture when she thought about it and the room went dead silent. She breathed in slowly and deeply trying to calm her self down, she could feel tears welling up in her eyes, where did they come from? She thought. Why were there tears. So many tears. She didn't want to cry, not there, not in front of him.
After a full minute of silence Riza grew uncomfortable and turned her head slightly to look at him. She didn't expect what she saw. There was a mix of anger, pain, and almost regret on his face.
"Riza, what the hell? What the hell did he do to you!?" he asked his voiced laced with anger.
"This is my father's research. Do you think you can decode it, Mr. Mustang?" she asked indifferently.
"Riza how can you be so calm about this!? How could he do this to you, to his own daughter?!" he replied.
"He didn't force me to do anything, this was my decision and my decision alone," she said defensively, "He needed me to keep his life's work safe, it is the least I could do for the man."
"But Riza what about you? I mean you- "
"Why should you care anyway. You have it now so you should get to work decoding it, Mr. Mustang" she interrupted coldly. Honestly in that moment she didn't want his pity.
"Stop calling me that," he replied harshly, obviously taken aback by her coldness. She didn't say anything back to him, she honestly didn't know what to say. She just stared at him blankly.
"What the hell happened to you? To us?" he added desperately, his anger melting into sadness and regret.
"Us?" she asked. Why was he doing this? Why was he bringing up things she thought were in the past, things she wanted to forget.
"Don't try to act like nothing happened between us Riza. I don't know about now but I wasn't always a stranger in your eyes," he replied defensibly.
"What happened back then I have come to realize was never real, we were just kids, we didn't even know what 'real' was," she answered bitterly.
"I thought what we had was more than a childhood crush"
"Then why did you stop writing me Roy!?" she said, his name stinging her lips. Why hadn't he? Why does he say all these things but not even have the kindness to write, it had hurt her, burned her and she wanted to know, needed to know.
