Kammy: Ah, welcome, welcome, thank you for joining us today! I see that questions have been submitted per request for our Disgruntled Highness! He has so graciously decided to view them and answer them! And now, a big welcome for him, yes? I PRESENT TO YOU, THE BEST AND MOST AWESOME KING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE, BOWSER KOOPA!

Bowser: BWA HA HA! That's RIGHT. I am the best! The best and most awesome.

Kammy: Of course, Your Gloatiness.

Bowser: Not like I need YOU to tell me that, haggy.

Kammy: But of course Your Highness. But the reason we're all here is for the interview. You remember, yes Your Forgetfulness?

Bowser: What? Oh yea. COURSE I REMEMBER. BRING 'EM ON. I'll answer anything you pipsqueaks dare to ask me about!

Kammy: Well sire, the first one appears to be from LOTW. Shall I read it?

Bowser: DUH, hag. I ain't got all day!

Kammy: Of course Your Impatientness. Ahem.

"What exactly is your relationship with Princess Peach?"

-LOTW

Wow, they sure don't waste any time getting to the point, eh sire?

Bowser: *reddens slightly* Err. Uh. Well.

Kammy: Sire? You promised to answer anything.

Bowser: SHUT UP! I know that. I was just thinking is all.

Kammy: I smell the wood burning, Your Thoughtfulness. *chuckles*

Bowser: The heck? I don't smell anything, stupid. Stop interrupting! I'm trying to think! Well. Princess Peach is….well she's pretty. And uh. She rules the freaking Mushroom Kingdom! Plus she's a good cook. And she smells nice. And my kids like her. I'd LIKE to say that she's totally attracted to me and we're going out. But we're not. But that's just 'cuz she hasn't realized what a total hunk I am. Prolly because she hangs around fungus people all day. Ok? Is that a good enough answer?

Kammy: Indeed, sire! An excellent answer!

Bowser: Course it is. That wasn't so hard. BRING ON THE NEXT ONE!

Kammy: Ahem.

"how come king dedede is a better king then you?"

-taxidriver28

Bowser: WHAT?! That sorry excuse of a king better than ME?! HAH. I don't think so! WHO SAYS HE'S A BETTER KING?!

Kammy: Apparently taxidriver28…..Your Insultedness.

Bowser: There's no way that anybody's a better king than me!

Kammy: Of course, sire, but I suppose it's all a matter of opinion….

Bowser: OPINION?! WHAT THE HELL!! *shakes with rage* whose side are you on, haggy?!

Kammy: Gack….!! Y-yours, Your Enragedness!! I was merely-I was just……Oh. Never mind sire, that question was clearly a fluke!

Bowser: *calms down a bit* ……Pft. Yea. I'm the best and most awesome king there is, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! I'd like to see King Durdurdur shoot a mile of FLAMES outta his mouth!

Kammy: Darn straight Your Awesomeness!

Bowser: Ok, ok. Read the next question hag!

Kammy: Yes Your Impoliteness!

"how do you cope living with 8 kids? SERIOUSLY WHO IS THE WIFE!!??"

-ROFLcopter

Bowser: Oh it ain't easy, trust me. Half the time if they ain't whining about who hit who or who destroyed what, they're begging me for stuff, and always screwing up! I mean, I have a headache EVERY DAY. It's seriously always there. It's like they don't have an off switch. It was hard especially when they were younger. I used to have to pawn them off on Kammy just so I could take a nap or something!

Kammy: Oh joyous occasions, sire. *exhales slowly*

Bowser: They were her problem for at least an hour anyway. *toothy grin* Now that they're older they're still kinda a pain. But they're more independent anyway. I mean, for a single dad I did a pretty awesome job of raising them I gotta say.

Kammy: I agree, sire. They've turned out quite well!

Bowser: I get the other question a lot though. I was in some kinda arranged marriage. Y'know, the kind where ya don't see the other people until you're older, and they're totally unattractive. Well she was nice lookin' enough I guess but her personality just sucked. And I mean sucked. But hey, royalty is royalty and people don't care if you like each other. Just produce some heirs or whatever and be done with it. Well we had the koopalings and we still didn't like each other but hey, she loved our kids. One day though when I woke up, she was gone. I mean totally gone. Packed her bags. Flew the coop. I have no idea where she is, actually. I was younger too, and I had no idea what to tell the kids. It was hard, I guess. I still haven't heard from her. It ain't a big deal though. *shrugs* Like I said, we weren't fond of each other. But the kids….man, I still feel bad about it.

Kammy: We tried to look for her, but unfortunately she's never turned up. It's rather a mystery.

Bowser: Yeah….Well. Anyway. End of subject. I'm tired, haggy.

Kammy: Already?! But I'm sure there's a lot more you've got left to answer, Your Procrastinating-ness!"

Bowser: HEY. That was a long answer! That counts for at LEAST two questions. I'm already tired anyway.

Kammy: But you've just woken up, Your Crankiness!

Bowser: Psh….fine. A few more. If I feel like it. Bring 'em on haggy!

Kammy: Yes Your Exasperatingness….

"So, Great Koopa King, 3 questions:

Hows it feel to be less popular than Luigi among most fans

Why the Clowns?

And What happened to Iggy? Did he get his head stuck in a blender?

-Equidna Rojo

Bowser: What the heck, three questions at once?! Bahhhhh. And….who's Luigi?

Kammy: Sire, that's Mario's younger brother.

Bowser: GAHH! Don't say that disgusting 'M' word in front of me! I was in a good mood too!

Kammy: *sighs* ……Green Stache.

Bowser:….Eh? Green Stache? Who brought him up? You're confusing the heck outta me, haggy. What was the other question?

Kammy: Moving on I suppose….Erm….Why the clowns?

Bowser: Oh. Well. Cuz I like clowns. Duh.

Kammy: Perhaps you should elaborate, Your Eludingness.

Bowser: Uhm. Kamek used to take me to carnivals when I was a kid. And there were always clowns. And….I didn't think they were funny. But then I saw a clown go up to this kid, and the kid, he started BAWLING. I mean, cryin' his eyes out and yelling, and all that junk. So then I decided that anything that can scare the crap outta a kid that much is awesome in my book.

Kammy: And the third question, Your Strangeness?

Bowser: Oh. Iggy. Uh. I don't know what's up with him. He's definitely a weird kid. He stays in his room most of the time, tinkering with whatever. He blows stuff up a lot. So as for getting his head stuck in a blender, heh, maybe he did, dunno.

Kammy: All your children are a bit deranged, if I may say, sire.

Bowser: ARE WE DONE YET?! I said I'd answer a few more, and that was definitely a few!

Kammy: I…guess so?

Bowser: Phew. Good. I was getting' hungry. Go make me a snack or something, haggy.

Kammy: Ah, yes Your Bossiness. Erm. Thank you for all the questions, and please continue to send in anything you might wish to ask the Great and Awesome Koopa King!

Bowser: Haggy, sandwich, food, something, NOW.

Kammy: Right, remember to click that green button at the bottom!