"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person."

-Gerard Way

Chapter 2 – Lost and Found

One week. That was how long it would be until Christmas. Too bad there wasn't anything to look forward to for Korra. She had been called up to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and Christmas weekend about a week ago. Honestly, she didn't really mind too much and being selfless sucked it up because the other nurses who got Christmas off had families to share the day with. Her plans were to go over to Asami's house and spend the morning with her before her family went off to her in-laws in the morning. Although she was disappointed in not seeing Addy seeing her open her presents, it wouldn't be the end of world.

I hate this. Why don't I have a freaking life and family to spend Christmas with? I've got Asami, but that's about it. Parents will be coming over on New Years and that'll serve as a double up as Christmas too. They're great and all, but what about my own life?

It was after work hours and Korra and Asami were getting together at Asami's house to have dinner and a relaxing evening. As Asami was preparing dinner with Iroh, Korra was in the living room in the presence of little Addy. She was one of the few things these days that brought a smile to Korra's face constantly.

At the moment she was playing on the floor, babbling on about her day to Korra who was sitting next to her. Korra wished she could just be a three year old and play with Addy. It was so simple. No obligations, no responsibilities, it was perfect.

"Aunty Korry, why do you look so sleepy?" Asami had no siblings so Korra acted as an aunt to Addy and it was only she who was ever allowed to call Korra "Korry."

"It was just a long day at work today. Like your mommy, my job is time consuming and makes me sleepy. It's like when you tire yourself out from running around the house all day keeping the nannies and your daddy on their toes," Korra explained, cracking a smile at the small child. When she said that she was looking into the piercing green eyes of Adaline, full of curiosity and life.

Only if she knew how much I'd pay to live her life for a while.

Adaline herself thought it was simple enough. Being awake and running around made people sleepy. Something seemed strange about her though. Her eyes were dull and half-closed. She seemed sad. She was smiling, but it didn't connect with her eyes. Her head tilted out of confusion then climbed into Korra's lap, wrapping her tiny arms around her body as far as they would go, attempting to make Korra feel better.

"Aunty Korry, you should sleep over then! I can read you a story before me and Mommy can tuck you in!" she exclaimed out of excitement

"I don't think that'll be happening tonight, Little One. Maybe sometime in the new year we can have a sleep over," Korra laughed, dropping a kiss onto Addy's forehead.

"I'd hate to be the one to break up such a heart-moving moment, but dinner's ready," Asami interrupted from the doorway.

Korra looked over to Asami and nodded her head. She rose off the ground with Addy in tow on her hip, walking to the dining room. The two paused by the doorway so Asami could tease her daughter for a moment and that broke Korra's heart a little more. They then proceeded on to go wash up for dinner while Asami remained in the doorway, sighing.


Dinner went off without a hitch, not that there'd be any serious problems in the first place. Iroh had taken Addy to go wash up for the night while Korra remained in the kitchen to help Asami wash the dishes. The room was silent except for the clacking of dishes knocking against each other.

"So I heard and saw most of your conversation with Addy earlier," Asami started, handing Korra a cup to dry.

"Which one?" There had been many conversations between the two ranging from toys to life.

"The one right before dinner."

"Asami, I'm not sleeping over if that's what you're suggesting," Korra stated as she placed the cup on the counter. She leaned against the counter while Asami turned towards her.

"I'm not only suggesting that, but also that you find a different job. There has to be something at the hospital or somewhere in the city that needs nurses."

"Asami, I'm not sleeping over. I've got my own home, and I don't want to invade your home. I'll admit I've been thinking of getting a different job lately, but then I'm still going to run into the same issue: long hours and not enough time to have a social life." Korra knew the facts and she didn't want to say them aloud.

"Korra, this isn't healthy. You went through nursing school and you should know that! I'll be the cliché one for a moment and say no work and no play for Korra makes her cranky, irritable, depressed, lost, and confused. You can't see the positive anymore or at least it doesn't seem like you do. You keep comparing yourself to my life, but my life isn't that great either. You think it's easy running a business with a three year old daughter?

"What I'm trying to get across to you is that you need a new look on life. You either need to quit your job and get another one or go on vacation to get some new scenery."

"Asami," Korra started, covering her face with her hands then removing them, "I just don't know anymore."

"Everyone sees it, Korra. I see, Iroh sees it, hell even Addy see it. Where's the girl that went partying every Friday night in high school? The girl that was always jolly when this season came around?"

"She died a long time ago," Korra admitted. She knew that long before the holiday season, but never admitted it to anyone.

"Maybe it's about time for her to be reborn and better than ever," Asami suggested.

"Look, Mako from high school actually called me the other day and us and his brother to get together. He actually said he ran into you a while ago and you guys had a nice chat. We're all meeting at Narook's the day before Christmas Eve and then possibly coming back here just for old times' sake. You in? I know you've got to work the next day, but this could be the thing that could help you."

Korra thought about it. She was excepting Asami to say something about that eventually, but thought one of the two brothers would call after the holidays. If it wasn't right before she was going to be swamped with work she wouldn't have hesitated in agreeing. Then she threw work out of her equation.

"I'm in."


"Remember that December when we all met up at Asami's and we ended up playing truth or dare?" Bolin sputtered out as the four old friends took a seat in a booth at Narook's.

The other three looked at Bolin with raised eyebrows as if they were challenging him to continue on.

"What? I thought we were going to reminisce about high school first then talk about our lives now?" Bolin asked innocently.

"Bolin, we all agreed all those years ago to never talk about that again," Mako argued with clenched teeth.

"I thought it would be a good ice breaker because the four of us haven't been in the same room at the same time for years. Asami getting a cake to the face, Korra smacking Mako's ass, Mako kissing that dead fish, and yours truly getting a beautiful makeup by the lovely ladies to make me a beautiful woman." As Bolin talked about himself he stuck out his chest and motioned towards himself with his hands.

The only one who seemed proud of what Bolin announced was himself. Everyone else was looking down at the table or anywhere else, just not at one another. Quietly, everyone looked over the menu and ordered. It was quiet a few more moments after they ordered then Asami broken the silence.

"Bolin, you still owe me about fifty yuans for that cake and the makeover Korra and I gave you! Money's no issue now a days, not that it ever was, but that cake was expensive and we used some of the top of the line makeup on you!" Asami exclaimed, bringing up the topic that no one appeared to want to remember.

"And what about me? I had fish taste on my lips for a month! The only thing I ever got after that was breath mints," Mako butted in.

"Mako, you know you loved kissing that fish. Asami, I'll compensate you eventually," Bolin wavered off then looked over to Korra. "What about you, Korra? Any outlying complaints about that night?"

"Nope." She honestly didn't. All she could remember was that it was a lot of fun. Just four friends in high school playing an old fashioned game.

"Wanna relive all of that tonight?" Bolin asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"Hell no!" the other three responded before anyone could blink.

That earned a laugh from Bolin and eventually everyone else. After that first awkward reunion topic, everything else went smoothly. They chatted about general things such as their lives, what they'd done recently, and gossiped about others from high school they'd run into one time or another. It was times like these that Korra relished because they were way too far apart.

As the night dwindled on, she knew she'd have to get going soon enough. Bolin and Mako commented earlier that they didn't have work or anything to do tomorrow and Asami didn't technically have to go into work, but she was going to stop in quick around midday. Korra was going to be the party pooper, and she didn't like that feeling at all.

Dinner was about to finish up as Mako, Korra, and Asami watched Bolin inhale some kale cookies and cotton candy that was limited time for the holidays. Asami made a disgusted face at Bolin because he was making a mess on the table and his face. Korra was kind of disgusted too, but wished she could be that carefree.

"Bo, that can't be good for you. You're a trainer and you shouldn't be consuming that much sugar!" Asami criticized as she leaned her right arm on the table and leaned her head into her hand.

"It's the holiday season! It's okay if I gain a few pounds. I'll lose them quick enough after the new year comes. This is the one time of year that I completely forget all my knowledge about food. No amount of food I take it can destroy my rock hard bod though!" Bolin pounded on his chest with his hand that still had a cookie in it.

"See, still as childish as ever, Mako," Korra claimed, referencing their conversation from a few weeks ago.

Mako shook his head at his brother who loudly finished his cookies and let out a low burp.

"I know what we should all do now! Let's wander the city like we used to do! Remember the time Beifong got on our asses because it was like one in the morning?" Bolin began to rattle off memories about the four of them walking around the city. "Ah, good old times. Everybody in?"

Korra was contemplating it a moment before Asami elbowed her in the ribs lightly. Her eyes glanced over to Asami's that were looking at Bolin. Looking back at Bolin, Korra nodded her head.

The four friends got up out of their booth ready to go outside and brave the cold to wander the city. Before anyone could exit, Bolin stuck a Santa hat on everyone's head. No one knew where those hats came from, but Bolin explained he was hoping everyone would agree to wandering the city so he came prepared to keep everyone's head and ears warm and to bring holiday cheer.

Bolin led the way out of the restaurant to only find snow falling. It was falling at a moderate pace, and everything was beginning to take on a white shade.

They began their journey. It was so simple and stupid. They probably shouldn't have been walking around the city in the freezing weather or while it was snowing, but none of them seemed to care one bit. Bolin was really the only one talking, acting as if he was a tour guide to the others. As it was nearing half an hour out in the cold, Korra was beginning to get cold.

What surprised her was what occurred after her shiver that she thought no one saw. Mako was next to her and had taken his scarf off and wrapped it around her own neck. The two paused a moment as Asami and Bolin continued to walk on. Korra furrowed her brows at him, but he just shrugged and motioned for them to continue on.

Although she was still cold, the scarf did offer her some warmth around her neck and some comfort. They were about a block away from the park when Bolin suddenly stopped on the sidewalk.

"Why'd you stop, Bo?" Mako asked.

"Happy holidays everybody! Is everybody enjoying the snow? 'Tis the season to be jolly!" Bolin shouted out into the open. Memories of why the four of them didn't walk around the city often were remembered.

"Bolin, shut up!" Asami hissed.

"Why? I'm bringing joy to those who don't have homes to go to."

"I understand that, but people are trying to sleep! And if you don't shut up soon, Beifong will be on our asses again. I don't need my daughter asking why her mommy got arrested!"

As Asami begged Bolin to be quiet, Korra and Mako stood quietly behind them. As the night dragged on, Korra and Mako began to walk closer and closer to one another, occasionally brushing against one another at one point. Now time was at a stand-still it seemed like.

Korra watched Bolin and Asami bicker with one another and moved so close to Mako that she leaned her head against his shoulder. Without a moment's rest Mako wrapped his right arm around her waist. It just felt right. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment.

His body was so warm compared to hers. It was comforting and relaxing. Just what everyone was ordering for her. The moment probably lasted thirty seconds at most, but it was worth it. Nothing was said, but they didn't need words. Two old friends finding comfort in one another on a snowy night, looking like idiots with Santa hats on while looking onwards towards their other two friends bickering.

The moment was disturbed firstly by Korra thinking she heard something. She removed her head from Mako's shoulder and looked around only to see a shadow walking away with a camera in tow a short distance away. Korra figured it was somebody getting a scenic photograph, but then the shadow stopped and looked Korra's way with a grin. She couldn't believe it, and she was in so much disbelief that she rubbed her eyes. Once she removed her eyes, there was nobody in sight.

No, that couldn't have been her.

"What's wrong?" Mako whispered in her ear.

"Nothing at all." If Mako hadn't seen that then it was probably just Korra's imagination.

"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! I don't just sit on my ass all day letting it become as you call it 'saggy.' I've gotta make sure all the workers are working and not slacking off, and just as an FYI, image pushing another human out of your body!"

"Asami, don't worry at all. Your ass still looks as fine as it was in high school, but I'm just saying maybe you should come to my gym sometime and make sure it'll look like that for the next fifty to sixty years." Once Bolin finished that it looked like Asami wanted to slap him.

Korra and Mako looked at each other wondering how the topic changed to Asami's ass. Memories of those two fighting teeth and nail resurfaced. Korra remembered she joked with Asami all the time in high school on getting a blood test to make sure she wasn't related to Bolin and Mako because she and Bolin fought like siblings back then. It didn't happen nearly as often anymore, but occasionally. It was a stupid memory, but it made Korra smile.

"Hey, Thing One, Thing Two, why don't we stop with the bitching at each other and continue with our walk down memory lane?" Mako interrupted.

The two looked over at Mako and Korra and remembered those two were with them.

"My dear brother! So eager for me to recall high school memories to embarrass you in front of the lovely ladies?"

Mako rolled his eyes. He walked away from Korra, punched him in the shoulder lightly and whispered something in his ear. While that went on, Asami walked up to Korra with the smirk.

"You think I didn't see you getting comfortable with Mako? I saw you out of the corner of my eye. Maybe he's the catalyst you need for the old Korra to be resurrected." Asami smiled at her then wacked the ball on the end of Korra's hat in the playful manner. Then her fingertips grazed the ends of Mako's scarf that was around her neck.

"I'm sorry if I was being kind of a bitch the other day. I just want you to be happy and Addy wants you to be happy."

Korra glanced behind Asami to see Mako looking annoyed with his brother. She'd seen that look many times years ago. He had a hard exterior, but inside he was one of the best people she'd ever met in her life. She couldn't believe she never tried to stay connected with him after high school or approached him about her feelings that were more than just friend feelings.

"I think I'll be just fine." Korra smiled.

The snow began to fall faster and it was truly becoming a white Christmas. Everything was cold on the outside, but Korra could feel her insides begin to warm for someone she never she always wanted.


"Damn everything," Korra mumbled to herself as she got into her apartment.

It was nearly nine o' clock at night and she'd been up since six in the morning. Just as she excepted Christmas Eve was long as hell and tiring. She'd worked on Christmas Eve her first year as a home care nurse, but she didn't have nearly as many patients since it was her rookie year. She couldn't believe she'd have to do it all again the next day. It was only a few short hours away.

Just last night I felt like I was on Cloud Nine and now I like I'm in the burning pits of Hell. Funny how this job works with my emotions.

Korra walked to her makeshift dining room and threw her medical stuff on the table. As she was doing that she noticed a white tin can with an envelope on top of it. She opened the envelope to find a card with a drawing of a Christmas tree with several stick figures on it. Obviously, that was from Addy and it brought a smile to Korra's face. There was also a note inside.

Hey Kors,

Addy wanted to bring some joy into your house so she drew up the lovely picture of our Christmas tree. Also, we made some cookies for you so eat up! FYI, "we" means Addy and me, but also Mako and Bolin who decided to improvise and show up on our doorstep unannounced. We had to make three batches because Addy and Bolin kept eating the cookies. Anyways, don't die on us! Call me if you need to complain.

Xoxo

Asami

P.S. Mako thinks he's so sly, but he's not. I saw him slip a note of his own in this tin before I brought it over

P.P.S. We all had a great time last night and we need to relax more like that more often. Especially you. Love you!

Korra opened the tin to find holiday themed cookies and the note that Asami saw Mako put in. She took a cookie out and took a bite into it then picked up the note.

Korra,

I had a lot of fun last night. It was a shame it had to end shortly after everything that went down at the park, but I understand. You had to work and it was snowing a lot by then. I hope you don't burn yourself dry the next couple of days. Call me if you need anything at all. Merry Christmas Eve and early Christmas.

-Mako

The note was simple yet it was all Mako. Korra ate her cookie in silence and reread it a few times. She felt better once again, but knew in a few hours she'd be cursing to every god up in the sky asking why she had to work the crappy job that she had that was only crappy for the reason that it sucked out all the fun in her life.

Taking one more cookie from the can for her room, Korra placed the note carefully on the table and closed the tin. She walked over to the light switch and flipped it off, going to her room for another hellish day to start.


"Who the hell is knocking on my damn door at eight o' clock on Christmas night?" Korra grumbled to herself as she got off her couch to go to her front door.

She opened the door to Mako standing in the hallway looking a bit jittery. Why he was there or how he was there was the unknown and in his hands was a wrapped present.

"Hey, Mako. Umm…what are you doing on my doorstep?"

"Asami gave me your address and I know you were working earlier today so you wouldn't actually get to celebrate Christmas properly. Bolin and I celebrated earlier, but really it was like I wasn't even there because Bolin and I went to Bolin's girlfriend's house for Christmas after we exchanged gifts.

"Anyway, I figured maybe since neither of us really got to celebrate Christmas that we'd be able to do that now."

The two of them stared at one another for a moment before Korra waved him into her apartment. It wasn't anything special, but it did its job. Mako glanced over at her dining room table and saw the tin with the cookies in it.

Mako walked over to her couch and Korra followed suit. He placed his gift on the small table in front of the couch and the two sat there in silence for a moment before he broke the ice.

"Korra, I know I've been missing from everyone's life ever since we graduated, and I've learned a lot in that time. I know I've only seen you two or three times since I've returned, but I want to rekindle what we had in high school."

Oh great, he just wants to be friends again. Am I looking for an immediate relationship? Not really, but I wouldn't mind one with him.

"I'd like that a lot actually. Work-" she started, but then Mako placed a finger to her lips to get her to be quiet.

"No mention about work at all. I know the whole story about you and work. Asami explained it to me in a nutshell. You can't let work consume your life twenty-four seven though. In a week's time, I promise to make sure you are back to the Korra we all loved in high school."

Mako's finger was still placed at Korra's lips so she just looked him in his amber eyes. She could see a fire in his eyes. It was the same fire he had since high school, but there was something else there that she couldn't pinpoint. Mako then removed his finger from her lips.

"I want to be that person again, Mako."

"I know that that part of you isn't dead, Korra. She's buried under all the priorities in life, but you've got to forget them for a bit. Look at me. I lived on minimum pay while travelling the world. I knew I needed money for food and other crap, but I still had fun."

Mako then picked up the box from the table in front of them and placed it in Korra's lap. She looked at it then at Mako who was gesturing her to open it. Once unwrapped, it was a plain box that wasn't that heavy. She opened the box to find two things: a card with a number on it and a yearbook. Her hand felt obligated to take out the card first.

"An old friend of mine works at a clinic a little ways from where you live. Still within driving distance and reasonable though. He said there are some vacancies, I mentioned you, and he gave me his number for you to give him a call sometime. I don't exactly know what it pays or entails, but it's gotta be better than what you've got now."

Korra stared at the card. That was the first step into a new life if she liked what the new job was and if the guy liked her enough to hire her. She sighed then placed the card on the table; she'd worried about that later. The yearbook was next.

As she opened it, she realized it was from their senior year. One of Mako's hands came out and flipped to the back cover of the book and pointed at a signature. Realization came through Korra's head that this was Mako's old yearbook because her signature and parting farewell note was there.

Mako,

It's been a crazy ass 4 years in high school with you and plus those other 3 in the unmentionable middle school. I have so many memories of the two of us together along with your idiot brother and Asami. Memories I won't forget for a long, long time.

I don't exactly know your plans after high school and I don't think you do either, but I wish you the best. If you're ever runned down by some jackass in the street be sure to call me! I'll heal you up nice and well. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if it's me who runs you over…whoops!

Friday nights, fooling Beifong, late night walks around the city, Asami and me dragging you to our hole in the wall restaurant, and all the times we had to pretend to be dating to trick someone for whatever reason. Good times…I know a lot of people don't stay connected after high school, but please, don't let our group follow the crowd. Our group was bitching!

I especially want to stay connected with you no matter wherever you freaking end up. Just remember that we all promised before Asami graduated last year that we wouldn't lose ourselves. We'll all still be our goofy high school selves. We'll all lose ourselves in the moments, but we can't lose ourselves for life. We can't go forward in this world without that part of our life, and I don't want to. Hopefully, you don't either ever though you're an ass sometimes!

Once again I wish you the best of luck once we are finally out of this hell hole. Don't forget me!

-Korra

"Damn, I wrote a lot," Korra mumbled to herself as she saw her eighteen year old mind's thinking once again.

"You and Asami took up one whole cover of my book, Korra. Even though Asami wasn't even in high school anymore she still insisted on signing it. But Korra, you lost yourself and that's exactly what you didn't want to happen."

She closed the book and placed it on the table in front of them then rubbed her forehead. It was all coming crashing down on her. All the memories and dreams she had in high school were so much more vivid. She even remembered she had a dam bucket list somewhere for crap to accomplish before she turned thirty somewhere and a journal she kept throughout high school for her to look back on. She lost herself all right, and it all became much clearer.

Her eyes began to water again like a few weeks ago when she had seen Beifong and realized something was wrong with her life. Now everything was coming full circle.

"I know." She had said that at least a dozen times in the month of December, but her own writing broke the dam.

With her hands covering her face, a few stray tears fell down her cheeks. Mako knew she hated crying in front of anyone so he just wrapped his arms around her. It was a bit awkward since they were on the couch, but it comforted Korra.

"I remember in high school you always talked about saving the lives of people in this city. You're doing that, Korra, but maybe this type of medical job isn't for you. I'm proud that you've stuck with it and aren't a quitter, but I think it's time for a change of scenery."

Korra removed her hands from her face and looked down at the ground. She thought she was making a bigger deal out of something that wasn't that big of a deal, but wasn't going to focus on that for the moment.

"I remember when Addy was born," she started, her trembling lip curling into a smile. "It was maybe two, three months before I started this job. I remember everyone at the hospital looking at me like I was on drugs or something. I was just so happy for Asami. Nothing could destroy my mood."

"I remember," Mako chuckled, "Bolin and I came to visit and Bolin spilled something on your clothes and it completely stained them. You didn't even flinch."

"I guess that was the last time I was truly happy. When I first started that job I was happy, but after a few months in I realized how deep I was involved with his job. With little time to myself, I slowly deteriorated over three years."

Mako tightened his hold on her and kissed her cheek.

"And thus now begins the process of a new, better, and the most bad ass Korra ever to live to be born."

Korra hummed her agreement with him then got him to release his hold on her since she needed to get up. She quickly went to her room to returned with his scarf from the other night. When she returned home she had completely forgotten it was on her neck.

Mako just smiled at her as he patted the spot next to him. She sat down next to him, took the scarf out of her hands, and wrapped it around her neck once more. It wasn't cold in her apartment, but the scarf still comforted her and made her feel some sort of warmth.

He guided her shoulders down so she'd lay down with her feet in his lap and her head laying on a pillow at the arm of the couch. The two didn't need words for the moment as they lost themselves in their transitional moment.

Snow caused Korra to divert her stare from Mako to her window. It was snowing once again, giving the city a new glow to it.

"The snow decided to fall once again," Korra commented, looking at Mako.

"I think snow is our good luck charm. Every time I've seen you this month it's snowed."

"My reasoning is that before you came along was that I was cold on the inside with nothing much to offer. Now, you've taken me out of context, warmed me up again, and helping me be the person I dreamed of becoming in high school."

He smiled at her as the two glanced one more look outside then got to talking. They were mostly reminiscing once again, but also talking about the future. There were some subtle hints from both sides that they wanted more than just a friendship, but for now they were both content.

"Oh, and thank you for the cookies yesterday. You weren't very sly with the note according to Asami." Mako shook his head which caused Korra to laugh.

'Twas the night of Christmas and all through the house two old friends found each other. It was stupid, but they both needed each other to get acclimated to the real world once again. Whether it was faith, the snow, or some meddling friends it was going to remain unknown forever, but it didn't matter. The important thing was that on that snowy, white Christmas was the turning point of their lives to a better future.


Updated: January 3, 2016

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the other half of this Christmas tale! I'm not sure if I will do the epilogue or not, but for now this story is marked as complete.

Anyway, thanks guys for reading and please review! Enjoy the rest of your day/night:)