Randomness of the Mind and the Body: Inside Cam Authors Note: I know. I haven't updated. But I did. I couldn't do this without my dearest darling Sarah. So I waited until she was back from Venice.

So, I feel like I've tortured your laughter long enough. I hope you enjoy our little 'insider'!

PLEASE REVIEW!!

Randomness of the Mind and the Body: Inside Cam.

Never seen before footage of our favorite talk show hosts inside life.

Episode: Rain…Rain…

Lovett: It's not bloody funny!

Todd: Is too!

Lovett: Not!

Todd: You laugh at all the wrong moments too!

Lovett: Well, excuse me for being a woman!

Todd: Women do not laugh at the wrong moments.

Lovett: And now you're accusing me of being a man.

Todd: Perhaps I am.

Lovett: Well I ain't!

Todd: You talk like one, you walk like one, you laugh like one.

Lovett: What the bloody hell do you think you're talking about?

Todd: You have a sicker mind than I do!

Lovett: Than you might as well be a bloody woman!

Todd: Yeah right!

Lovett: You'd be a wonderful sensitive…woman.

Todd: And you'd be a cruel perverted man.

Lovett: I thinkt here are things in the way from that path.

Todd:I believe so too.

Lovett: Humph.

Todd: What's that list?

Lovett: Funny things.

Todd: And now you're talking about funny.

Lovett: Hey! Gimme my list back.

Todd: What's this for?

Lovett: Anthony's present.

-snatches paper from her hands-

Todd: 10 things not to say in front of your girlfriends parents?

Lovett: I'm trying to keep him alive.

Todd: "Did you spank her as a child, cuz she sure likes it now!"

Lovett: HAHHAHAH!

Todd: I didn't even raise her!

Lovett: And you regretted that.

Todd: Yes. And if that monster of a judge spanked her…

Lovett: Check out number 11.

Todd: "Your daughter makes me tingle in special places."

Lovett: That is golden.

Todd: You're a sick woman.

Lovett: Humph.

Todd: You think this will help?

Lovett: No. But it's funny. And I like funny.

Todd: You said, you didn't know you could bleed so much without dying.

Lovett: You cut my arm!

Todd: Yeah, but you're a woman!

Lovett: Psh, But I'm watching it gush out of my arm!

Todd: It's calming.

Lovett: It stings!

Todd: And your monthy special doesn't?

Lovett: No! You'd make a bloody terrible woman.

Todd: I would make a wonderful woman for that matter.

Lovett: Would too.

Todd: No. I'd be flattering. I'd take after Lucy.

Lovett: Right. Why not take after me?

Todd: Cuz then I might as well just be a man.

Lovett: I hate you.

Todd: I love you too.

Lovett: I could kill you right now.

Todd: So could I.

Lovett: It's a miricale I'm not already dead.

Todd: Want me to finish it off?

Lovett: Fuck you.

Todd: I do not enjoy your sense of humor young lady.

Lovett: I HATE YOU!

Todd: You've mentioned that already.

Lovett: Ooo, Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight…

Todd: What'd you wish for?

Lovett: What'd you wish for?

Todd: I asked first.

Lovett: Too damn bad.

Todd: Ladies first.

Lovett: I'm too manly to be a lady remember?

Todd: Fine then. I wished you would shut the fuck up!

Lovett: Wish wasted.

Todd: Bitch. What'd you wish for?

Lovett: That you'd look like Johnny Depp.

Todd: Why on earth would you do that?!

Lovett: Well, it was between Johnny Depp and David Beckham…and then I realized if you're David Beckham I have to be Victoria Beckham…

Todd: They're married. We're not married.

Lovett: Might as well be.

Todd: True.

Lovett: I bet you that you couldn't survive a day as a baker. Forget a day, an hour!

Todd: And you couldn't live up in that barbershop!

Lovett: Are you complaining about the free room I gave you?

Todd: Perhaps I am!

Lovett: Well lemme tell you, MISSUS, I could cook six jillion times better than you can!

Todd: And I could cook!

Lovett: Could not!

Todd: Could too!

Lovett: Fine then! Cook dinner. And eat it.

Todd: I couldn't do that!

Lovett: Yeah, cuz you'd barf once you took a bite.

Todd: We're on.

Lovett: Fine then, bring it on!

Todd: Bring it on, man.

Lovett: You wanna go, you wanna go?

Todd: Yeah I wanna go, do you wanna go?

Lovett: You wanna go? Cuz guess what, BITCH, I've already left!

-walks over to her side of the counter-

Todd: Damn woman.

-walks over to counter, picks up ingrediants-

Lovett: Good luck!

Todd: You'll need it!

-At the counter-

Todd: Let's race.

Lovett: Fine, let's see who can peel, and put all the ingrediants in a bowl faster.

Todd: Dumb competition.

Lovett: Chicken

Todd: Duck.

Lovett: Goose.

Todd: Pigeon.

Lovett: Dove.

Todd: Sparrow.

Lovett: Capt'n Jack Sparrow.

Todd: What?

Lovett: Is just awesome all over.

Todd: How would you know that?

Lovett: That's not the way to be a woman. Remember?

Todd: That's not what we're competing for.

Lovett: Right.

Todd: Oh shut up.

Lovett: Your dead.

Todd: And you're going to kill me?

Lovett: You'll poison yourself with your cooking.

Todd: Bring it on.

Lovett: We already went over this.

Todd: Ready…

Lovett: Set…

Todd/Lovett: Go!

-randomly starts cutting and chopping throwing vegetables into a bowl-

Todd: -holds up the cucumber- Damn! It's not fair, your cucumbers smaller than mine!

Lovett: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

-Insane Laughter Continues-

Todd: Dirty minded woman. Damn the Rain.

End Note: Please Review!