Baby Shopping & Problems
Lindsay`s POV
I was now living with Danny, we had moved into a new apartment it was bigger, more spacious and had a room for the baby…..it had been a long and difficult road but we were slowly making it, when we first got back together I found even kissing him was hard….images of him and Rikki would flash through my mind making me feel sick and every time I did Danny would ensure me that he loved me and what he did was a mistake.
We were wondering around a baby shop….I found myself over whelmed with all the toys, cots and clothes but I couldn`t help but smile….I was walking hand in hand with the man I loved, now 7 months pregnant with his baby and soon to be ……..Mrs. Messer.
After being back together for a month Danny had popped the question, at first I`d said no, I didn`t want him to marry me just because I was pregnant and because he was still feeling guilty after his mistake; but after much thought I accepted, the wedding was planned out with Stella`s help and we were set to tie the knot 2 months after the birth of our baby.
"Wadda bout this one babe" Danny called pulling me out of my thoughts.
I walked over to where he was and looked down at the Giants bedding in a beautiful cot.
"What if it`s a girl" I said.
"Even if it is…I want her to like sports" he mumbled.
"And she will" I replied stroking his cheek.
"Ok then….we should go for a neutral colour to cover both bases" he said.
"Yeah sure" I replied absently mindedly.
"Baby are you ok…you haven`t been focused since we got here….you do want this don`t you" he said worriedly taking my left hand where my engagement ring was.
"Of course I want this….I love you" I announced cupping his face and kissing his nose, my stomach wedged between us.
"I love you too….so much" he said pushing my hair back from my face.
"Can we go home….I`m really tired and my feet hurt, we can grab a catalogue and order over the phone" I suggested.
"Course babe" he said smiling at me.
Back at the apartment, Danny was sitting on the couch flipping through the catalogue, while I looked through the mail.
Bill, bill, bill, junk, junk, letter to Danny from……
I know I shouldn`t have opened it after all it was addressed to Danny….but hey, we were getting married….and he promised no more secrets and lies.
I immediately looked down to see who the letter was from; I took an intake of breath……Rikki!
I read through the letter…tears sprang to my eyes as I read it, certain words stood out….
All those times we made love
You were a father to him
I forgive you and I think about you often
I`m returning to New York, we should catch up
Oh God….I feel sick, physically sick….all those times, he told me it happened once, that lying cheating waste of space; I had never actually spoken to Rikki but God…I wanted to rip her throat out, that slimy little cow.
"Baby…are you ok" Danny called over.
I turned on my heel and stormed over to him, tears now falling freely and thrust the letter in his face. I watched his eyes go over the text quickly…he dropped the letter to the couch.
"This was addressed to me…why did you open it" he asked me calmly, screwing up the letter in his fist.
"Does it matter if I opened it….why the hell is she writing to you" I yelled.
"I don`t know" He bellowed.
"Don`t lie to me…have you been in contact with her, you`ve been missing your little tart have you" I screeched.
"God No….Lindsay I love you, all I want is you and our baby, please you have to believe me" Danny yelled, tears I his eyes.
"How can I Danny, you told me you slept with Rikki…meaning once…one God Damn time and according to her it was much more than once, so how many times" I demanded, holding my baby bump.
"Lindsay…please" He cried.
"Tell Me" I demanded.
"Twice…I swear to God that`s all" He announced.
"What, she was that good you had to go back for more" I screamed, angrily.
"No…I was outta my mind, grieving over Reuben…I love you" he said desperately.
"Really….you love me, do love her too" I spat at him harshly.
"Are you serious…it was sex, Linds….meaningless, empty and unfeeling`….and I wished to God it was you, I tried to imagine it was you…" He yelled.
"Hey here`s a though instead of imagining it was me…you could have been with me" I screamed back at him.
"Can`t we just leave the past in the past…I made a mistake, I`m going to regret for the rest of my life…I have to live with the fact that I broke your heart, the only women I have ever been in love with" He pleaded.
I walked away and grabbed my coat.
"Where are you going….you can`t leave me, please I`ll do anything" He begged, tears streaming down his face.
"I`m not leaving you…I just, I just need some air" I said, not looking at him.
I opened the door and looked back at Danny slumped on the couch…head in his hands crying.
"Danny" I called over…his head sprang up.
"Are you going to see her…when she`s back?" I asked.
"No" He said without hesitation…looking dead into my eyes.
"Did you ever have feelings for her?"
"Only Pity" he replied
"Ok….I believe you" I said as I turned away from him and shut the door.
I almost ran down the hall away from the apartment…once outside I leaned against a wall, and cried cradling my stomach.
I didn`t believe him
To becontinued......
