A shorter chapter for those wonderful three people who read and liked this piece! Thank you very much!

I'm trying to get this done for Halloween...and, frankly, I'm excited for it! I've got a nice, funny, disturbing story lined up for you loyal fans. Keep responding!

Oh, a little side note, if you've never seen/heard of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then this chapter especially will confuse the heck out of you. So...fix that, if that's the case.

Enjoy!


"I don't like the look of this place…"

Leo's choice of words was excellent, for he truly did not like the look of that place. Neither would you have if you had been there that dreadful night. The mansion was at least five stories high, its doors and windows each a dark red shade. Twisted, shadowy green vines grew up the sides of the terrifying behemoth of a building. Lights were flashing on and off inside the mansion, creating shadows that seemed to dance rings around the timid barber and his bat-child.

Edgar gulped hard. "Well, I suppose we had better knock."

The two beings (well, three, if you include the strange and interesting plant) slowly and cautiously approached the front door, creeping onto the front porch, swatting away at cobwebs and insects. Edgar opened his mouth and devoured some of the flying pests, chewing on their sticky exoskeletons with great pleasure. In turn, Leo felt like vomiting all over the porch.

He stuck his shaking hand out and reached for the doorbell. Pausing for only a moment, he shoved his finger into the button, releasing a terribly loud, bloodcurdling scream into the night. Leo let out a slight yelp, jumping into the air and nearly dropping his plant. Edgar gave a slight chuckle which was rudely interrupted by Leo stomping down on his foot.

A mere minute after ringing the satanic doorbell, the large door creaked opened. Leo's heart skipped beats as he nervously anticipated who was lurking behind the large, dusty door. As spiders and crickets scurried out of the way, a tall, dark figure stood in the doorway.

He was a built man, wearing a jet black tuxedo and cape, white gloves on his hands. His black hair was slicked back in the most gentlemanly of manners, and there was a small rapier hanging from his black belt. Though you could all imagine this man to be charming and quite handsome, one thing stood out that made this man so mysterious. A white mask covered half of his otherwise perfect face.

"Hello, sir, sorry to bother you." began Edgar. "I'm afraid our car had broken down just a few miles from here and we needed to call a tow truck. That is, if you would not mind?"

The masked man narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the two strangers, then replied, in a booming tenor voice, "Of course you may use our phone."

Edgar smiled, while Leo continued to avoid eye contact with the phantom-looking man. He wasn't incredibly comfortable in his presence and wanted to simply call for a tow and leave the mansion as soon as possible.

The phantom gestured for the two travelers to come inside. The front hall was small and dark, only a few candles lighting the way. Suits of armor with tall, red-tipped spears lined the walls underneath large, evil-looking paintings. Cobwebs seemed to engulf the entire place, each occupied by an insect or two. Edgar looked up at these bugs hungrily, but Leo continued his nervous, shaky stride. He was determined to simply call a tow truck and leave this strange and frightening mansion.

And the all-knowledgeable readers laughed.

Edgar's ears suddenly perked up, his eyes darting in the direction of a large grandfather clock.

"Leopold, do you hear that music?" he asked.

Leo squinted his eyes and listened. "No…" He turned around to ask the strange masked man if he heard anything.

"Hey, buddy, do you hear any…"

Nobody was there.

Leo began to shiver. He hadn't heard any footsteps or the door creak or anything. How is it that this man could've just vanished? Unless he really was a…

The sound of a large band exploded in Leo's ear, causing him to jump much higher than any normal human should be able to. Edgar had just opened up a door, cleverly disguised as the grandfather clock mentioned earlier, to reveal a large, open room, decked out in balloons, streamers, and a colorful array of characters all dressed in fun, happy little costumes.

It was the most bizarre spectacle Leo had ever seen.

"This is the most bizarre spectacle I've ever seen." He murmured to himself as he followed Edgar into the party hall.

These strange, yet happy-looking, people were doing a dance of sorts, jumping to the left and then stepping to the right. Leo covered his eyes to avoid seeing the party-goers pelvic-thrusting until Edgar tugged on his sleeve.

"What?!" Leo asked loudly, as to be hear over the music.

Edgar then said something that Leo couldn't make out and pointed in the direction of the band. Leo didn't understand, until he looked past the drummer, guitarist, and the didgeridoo player. There, sitting on a metal folding chair, clapping along to the music in nothing but her underwear, was Kerry!

Happy, stunned, somewhat confused, and worried, Leo run to her, his wet dress shoes slipping on the slick floor of the hall. As he ran to her, all of the chaos around him seemed to freeze. The music was muted, so he could only hear the sound of his own heart, beating only for his vital organs to function and for his Kerry. It was as if light from Heaven itself had shined down upon Kerry, her beautiful strawberry blonde hair and striking green eyes a gift from above. What light shone past him? It was the east, and Kerry was the sun! Her eyes like lipid pools of green Jell-O, her hair like a field of…red…plants…I guess. He wanted to much to embrace her, to kiss her, to f-

He then tripped on his shoelace, fell flat to the floor, and got stomped by someone jumping to the left.

After wiping the blood off his face, he stood back up, regained his composure, and continued to run towards Kerry.

"Kerry." he said happily. However, the red-headed beauty in white didn't respond. Leo frowned.

"KERRY!" he shouted over the large band, causing Kerry to blink and look up at him. Suddenly, her entire face lit up with joy, as she smiled and leapt from the chair, hugging Leo tightly.

"What are you doing here?!" she asked.

"Edgar made us crash into a tree!!"

"What?!"

"EDGAR MADE US CRASH INTO A TREE!!!"

"I didn't know Edgar lashed at a blue bumble bee!"

Leo sighed, smiled, and hugged his love again, not really caring that she was slowly turning deaf. Just to be with her once again made him happy.

And the fact that she had nearly no clothes on certainly helped the situation.

Suddenly, the music stopped playing and the strange audience gave a round of applause for the musicians. However, after a few seconds of clapping, all the lights in the hall went out. There was a bloodcurdling scream and Edgar, carrying the strange and unusual plant, ran over in the direction of his two friends.

"It's alright, Kerry, you needn't scream."

"That was me." Leo replied sheepishly.

A loud, seductive voice then echoed throughout the hall.

"Hello, my guests." The soothing voice said. "Welcome to my humble abode."

The invisible crowd chuckled at the voice's modesty, then allowed the voice to continue.

"Most of you know you are here," The voice ('Surely a woman's', Leo thought) said. "But for those of you would don't…or have gotten lost in the woods and need to use my phone…"

Again, the audience laughed, but much harder this time. Leo gulped.

"…then allow me to introduce myself."

A spotlight flashed high up onto the opposite wall, blinding the three misfits. There was a figure standing on the very top of a narrow staircase, dressed in quite revealing apparel. Fishnets, corset, stripper boots…Leo grinned to himself.

'I knew it was a woman…no, wait…'

Edgar gagged, Kerry gasped quietly, and the audience burst into insane applause for the transvestite standing in the spotlight.


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