Super Mario VS Sonic The Hedgehog
Chapter 2: Heroes and Sidekicks
Back in Mushroom Hill, Sonic returns, this time with his tag team partner who he disdains, Tails. Only to find the area stripped of most of it's fungus looking pretty bare.
"Dammit, he's gone!" Shouted Sonic all pissed off "...And he took half the mushrooms with him."
"You should of brought me along before, Sonic!"
"Shut up Tails!"
Tails then finds a trail of dropped mushrooms leading outside the zone, "Sonic, I think I have a clue where he went! These mushrooms over there, he probably dropped those along the way!"
Sonic and Tails investigate the trail of discarded Mushrooms leading to a large green pipe protruding from the ground.
"The mushrooms stop here at this pipe, probably left there by Robotnik to dump his waste, you think he went down there?" Asked Tails peering into the seemingly bottomless tube.
"Is Robotnik a fat baldy bastard?" Sonic jumps straight down in the pipe leading to only God and Mario knows where.
Sonic pops out the other end of the pipe into a brown wasteland with more big green pipes, some fences, some oddly green vegetation that seem out of place in such a dry area and some green hill with unnerving eyes that seem to be overlooking every thing. "What the fuck is place?" Sonic comments on his surroundings.
"I don't know..." Said Tails flying out of the green pipe behind Sonic. "But this sure isn't Mobius, look how the dirt isn't chequered."
"So this is Mario's world, huh? Let's find this guy!" Sonic ran through the area in search of Mario and happens to find a Koopa Troopa and a Goomba smoking dope behind one of the bushes.
"Oh shit Mario!" "Don't kill us!" The Goomba and Troopa were startled by the sudden appearance of Sonic. "Bowser hasn't even kidnapped Peach all week, so let us be... Oh sorry we were so baked we thought you were him." Said the Troopa.
"Right... I'm looking for this Mario douchebag. Can I get some directions here?" Asked Sonic.
"Hey, you're not from around here. You look like one of Wart's boys. You know this is King Koopa's turf right?" The Goomba answers with another question.
"Who the fuck is King Koopa?" Asked Sonic somewhat confused.
The friendly fiends look at each other and laugh heartedly. "Good one! Oh shit! You were serious?!" The Troopa blurts. "King Koopa is our tyrannical dictator, you don't ever want to fuck with him." The Goomba explains. "The only ones to do so and live however are the Mario bros. Every time our king tried to take over all the Mushroom Kingdom the Marios walk over us like fucking carpets!"
"Marios? You mean there's more of these jerks?!"
"Yeah, he's got a brother called Luigi who's just basically a green version of him. Trust us you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell alone!" Said the Goomba.
"Oh, he's not alone!" Said Tails flying in by Sonic.
"Circus in town?" Said the Troopa.
"That's Tails." Explains Sonic. "He's the only freakshow here besides the brown penis with fangs there."
Sonic's comment angered the Goomba. "Hey blue bitch! How would you like me to to headbonk you in the fucking balls?!"
"Whatever, where is this Koopa guy, would he actually help me bring down Mario?"
"Well you'd be helping him out actually, he's at his castle in Dark land." Informed the Troopa.
"How the fuck do I get there?" Asked Sonic still kinda lost.
The Troopa lays out the directions. "There's a doomship docked in the castle for this world, it'll get you there! Just keep going right until you get to the flag pole you can't miss it!"
"Okay smell ya later, guys!" Sonic runs to the right leaving everyone in the dust.
"For the record don't ever diss King Koopa, he won't give two shits if you guys are newbies!" The Goomba shouts.
Elsewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom, in the foyer of Peach's castle. Mario was informing the Princess of his discovery. Peach was very delighted to hear this news.
"Princess Toadstool, I found the answer for the disappointing Mushroom harvest you had lately."
"You have? That's wonderful, let's hear it."
"I've found a warp pipe that lead to an entirely new world, it's called Planet Mobius and it has a hill full of mushrooms, me and Luigi had a sampler so they're perfectly okay for consumption."
"Oh Mario that's great news! We'll get on harvesting right away."
"The workers will need to be under heavy guard, the locals were savage. They might try to muscle your men off their turf and things'll get ugly."
"Oh Mario, you are so caring and thoughtful, I feel like I must reward you..."
Peach knelt before Mario about to give him a peck on the nose but with a burst of the castle's front door and a yell of "Maaaaario!" The emotional moment was ruined completely. Luigi ran between Mario and the Princess to deliver some news of his own.
"Mario, you won't believe this but back at the store, one of the mushrooms sprung to life and it was hopping over the place!" Luigi says in a panic.
Mario grabs Luigi by a dungaree strap and drags him to a corner of the room for a private talking to.
"Are you still tripping from the sampler I gave you?" Mario yells at Luigi then he whispers. "Quit embarrassing me in front of the Princess! I got her eating from the palm of my hands so I could eat her out, get the hint?!"
"No Mario, at least I think I'm half sobered up! Come with me it's totally wrecking the place!"
The Mario brothers rush back to their business in the real world To find a mushroom bouncing on a spring completely wrecking their workplace and trashing their inventory.
"Luigi! Why is there a Goomba in my store?" Mario erupts in reaction to the devastation. "I gave you one fucking job, look after the store! I don't know why I pay you good money!"
"You pay me for apprenticing not guard duty!"
"Yeah well the repairs are coming out of your pay check!"
Mario grabs his crochet mallet and bashes the ever loving shit out of the bouncing mushroom, oddly springs, gears, scrap metal flew out as well as a squirrel as it took a battering.
"That ain't no Goomba! What is this shit?" Mario picks up the messed up mushroom machine and read a fine print etched on the bottom. It reads; "Mushmeanie, mass produced by Robotnik Industries, if broken return to Dr. Ivo "For the last time it's not fucking Eggman" Robotnik's residence in Scrap Brain Zone, Mobius."
"I don't know who this Robotnik asswipe is but no-one gets away with destroying my store! I'm gonna return this mushroom and I'm gonna show him where I'm gonna stuff it!" Mario vows vengeance.
"Good luck Mario, don't worry I'll take better care of the store while you're out!" Said Luigi cowering slightly.
"Oh no! You're coming with me, Luigi! Make yourself useful for once and lock up the goddamn store!"
"But Mario I'm too scared to explore uncharted areas." Luigi was shaking like a shitting dog.
"Don't be a pussy, Luigi! Ya see, this is why you get friendzoned by ever girl you meet so you have to settle with Daisy!"
Reacting to Mario's words, Luigi toughens up. "Okay okay I'm-a comin! But you didn't have to take cheap shots like that! Fuck!"
And with that the brothers make an Olympic dive down the drain. On a quest to avenge the store, but have they got any idea who they are dealing with?
