AN: Yay, chapter 2! I got like 38 views of chapter 1, and two reviews. So a special thanks to Raven2k8 and Pterodactyl, who reviewed. Also to Lady Infamous, who favorited. If you're reading this, then go ahead and leave a review, even if it's just "I liked it" or "it needs work" or whatever. Let me know that you read the whole thing! Also, a shout-out to Frozen-Vegetable, who gave me the idea to this story. So here we go~!
Eating Paste; Chapter 2:
"Moonlight Meeting"
or
"Slade Is Not A Pedophile"
It was midnight.
Slade always operated by night, and midnight was his busiest hour. He was currently working on a new device to take down his mortal enemies, the Teen Titans. It was a new weapon, one that could cause schizophrenia with a beam of light. Slade still needed to work on it, but it was coming along nicely.
He had been working for a few hours when a pang of hunger interrupted his concentration.
Time to order pizza.
After dialing Jump City Pizza and ordering a large double pepperoni, Slade sat back down to work on his project.
And yes, he ordered the pizza to be delivered to his secret lair.
Duh.
Just as Slade was getting back on track with his project, the doorbell rang.
Well, either the pizza boy has gotten a lot faster, Slade thought to himself, or someone has found my secret lair!
But he jumped up and skipped to the door anyway.
…Only to open it and find Robin standing outside.
Shit.
Slade jumped back, found unprepared for the first time in a very long time. He immediately got into a fighting stance, ready to drive the Boy Wonder back. But for some reason, Robin wasn't attacking.
"Oh Slade," Robin sighed, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and leaning back slightly. "I cannot hold back my feelings for you any longer! Every time I gaze upon your glistening mask, my heart swells! I snuck away from my friends in order to see you! Take me, Slade!"
"What the fuck?" Slade asked.
Robin tossed himself into Slade's arms, only to be shoved away.
"Noooooo Slade-"
"GET OUT."
Slade slammed the door shut, leaving a bawling Robin outside. He then went back to his work on his device, pouting the whole way.
The doorbell rang again.
"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Slade screeched, stomping back to the door. "WHAT?" he shouted, drop-kicking the door open.
It was… What the hell, who was it? Some chick dressed as Robin? It took Slade a second to realize that it was Raven who was dressed as Robin.
"Oh Slade," Raven sighed, tilting her head and putting her hands over her heart. "Ever since you dropped me off the top of a building, I've had eyes only for you! Even though our relationship will be illegal and will only add to your list of reasons why you are wanted by the police, I am willing to overlook it! We will be like Romeo and Juliet! Scarlet and Rhett! Bella and Edward! Take me, Slade!"
"What the fuck?" Slade asked.
Slade found himself with an armful of half-demon girl, and promptly shoved her out the door. He slammed the door shut for a second time.
Literally seconds later, the doorbell rang a third time. Slade carefully peeked outside, to find not one, but two more boys dressed as Robin. One was a tall black boy, and the other was short and green.
"Oh Slade," the two boys sighed, clasping each other. "We-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME." Slade shouted at them, slamming the door closed. "…The fuck…"
What was this? Some kind of new tactic? No, no it wasn't going to work on him. Slade stalked back to his work, not looking back at the door.
He had just barely began to continue screwing something into the device when the doorbell rang again.
"It's… it's probably just the pizza." Slade told himself, going to answer the door.
He found an orange-skinned girl dressed like Robin outside his door.
"Oh, enemy Slade," she sighed.
Since Slade was a cartoon character, there was steam coming out of his ears.
"GET. THE FUCK. AWAY. FROM. ME." He hissed, leaning in close to Starfire.
Then he slammed the door again.
He stomped back to the table where his weapon was sitting.
He took a few deep breaths.
He picked up the device.
The doorbell rang.
Slade opened the door so hard that it flew off its hinges.
"WHAT?" he roared.
"Your pizza is here, Mr. Slade." Said the cheery delivery boy.
"Oh."
"Also, there are five dead teenagers on your lawn. It looks like they stabbed themselves to death."
"I see."
"So the pizza will be $6.95."
"Damn."
AN: R&R YOU GAIZ~
