IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

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I…am…exhausted.

I woke up early this morning to go train, it was AWESOME being able to run super-fast and perform a few jutsus, but it takes up a lot of energy…well time for me to go to the academy.

I grab my headband and put it on. I put my camera in my blouse. I know what's going to happen today. Heh heh heh.

I close the apartment door behind me.

Alright here goes nothing.

Finally at the academy! I'm ashamed to say I got lost a few times.

I look around the class room and see-OMG NARUTO! LET ME HUG YOU!

I walk toward Naruto and smile. He looks up and grins.

"Hi! You mind if I sit next to you." I asked politely.

"Sure!" he shouts.

We started chatting until I heard the screeching of banshees.

""GOAL!""

I turn around slowly and see the two characters I hate the most. Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura.

Ugh. =_=""

"Great. The pink and blonde banshees are here. How lovely."

A few people laughed. Yay, I made a joke.

I look over at Naruto. He has hearts in his eyes, jeez what does he see in her? He doesn't even like her, it's just attraction!

"Naruto…why do you like Sakura?" I asked

"Because she's a babe!" Naruto stated loudly.

Ew.

"That…is a horrible reason to like somebody. Isn't that just attraction?" I told him, trying to convince him not to like Sakura anymore. He'll only suffer if he does.

"You just don't understand, Ren." Naruto said then continued to stare hearts at Sakura.

I sigh and look over at the person sitting by the window. Uchiha Sasuke. I'm willing to admit to myself that he is smexy but he sucks as a person. And his sitting position is weird. He's staring into nothingness with his face against his hands.

"Psst! Hey!" I whisper to get his attention. Which I got but he barely showed it.

"Why are you sitting like that are you trying to stalk someone? Or are you just thinking way too hard about something stupid…like porn?"

He did one of those anime drops that look like gravity is forcing him down to the ground face first…it was funny, to bad nobody else saw it.

"Are you retarded?" he asked rudely

"No. why does the back of your head look like a bird butt."

"You…"

There was anger and annoyance in his eyes but I could tell he was slightly enjoying our insult fest, I know I was.

'Well, she's definitely not like the other girls in this class.' Sasuke thought to himself.

"Excuse me, may I pass?"

Naruto and I turn toward the voice. Ugh. It was the pink fan girl, Sakura. I hate her so much! I remember in those little extras at the end of a shippuden episode she complained that she should have more fans or that the ending songs should be more about her because she is the heroine.

Fuck off bitch. This manga already has a hero, and you ain't no heroine.

Naruto blushed and grinned cheekily. 'No way. She wants to sit next to me."

"She doesn't want to sit next to you." I mumble.

"Huh?"

NARUTO, MOVE IT! I'M TRYING TO GET AROUND YOU! Sakura screamed angrily

"Oh…"

I sneer at her. She didn't have to yell or say it so rudely.

"You want something?" Sasuke asked Naruto since he was staring at him.

"what's that supposed to mean? Are you talkin' to me?" Naruto shouted.

"Naruto…you were staring at him so of course he's going to ask you that." I sighed as I saw him blush angrily realizing that it was a complete legit question.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun! Is this seat taken…? 3" she shouted as she trampled over Naruto…and PUSHED ME OUT OF MY SEAT!

I got up from the floor and glared bloody murder at her. I'll kill her. I swear on my name I will.

"R-Ren why are your eyes red?" Naruto asked slightly scared.

"It's part of my linage. My eye color changes according to my emotions." I said sighing.

"So…its like your eye balls are mood rings?"

"That's what I said."

"Ha ha ha! Your eyes turn color to your mood? That's so lame, right Sasuke-kun?"

"Go die you pink banshee." I mumble.

The four of us are sitting on one bench. Wait, I thought these benches could only fit three people at a time…oh well.

Naruto keeps growling.

Sakura is acting all creepy and stalker-ish toward Sasuke

And Sasuke is staring into nothingness…again.

~TODAY'S THE DAY SASUKE WILL BE MINE! THE MISSION GOAL—FIRST KISS! CHA!~

INNER SAKURA screamed

I sighed as I saw hearts in Sakura's eyes. Stupid annoying fan girl.

OH MY GOD! THE SASUNARU MOMENT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

I quickly take out my camera from my blouse and get in the take-a-picture pose.

Okay…

"Naruto, you jerk!"

"Leave Sasuke-kun alone!"

"Get Lost!"

"Hmf!"

"HIT HIM, SASUKE…"

Aaaaand…

"Hunh?"

"Oops."

"Oh sorry!"

"um…um…"

CLICK

FLASH!

I GOT THE PICTURE! I put the camera away. Man, the girls back home (sasunaru fans on DA and fanfiction) will never believe this!

"YAAAAAAAH!" Sakura screamed.

"NARUTO YOU PIECE OF CRAP, YOU ARE DEAD!" Sasuke yelled while gagging.

"POISON! MY MOUTH IS RUINED! Naruto screamed choking.

Sakura trembled in furry as I laughed my butt off. "Shut up, Ren…" Sasuke whispered to me. I smiled wicked feeling my eyes turning gold.

"Make me SasGAY!" I know its cliché but I refuse to call him SasuUKE, he may be a jerk but he's no uke.

He glared at me. "Ren…I'm going to-"

"Naruto …you make me sick." Sakura sneers as she cracks her knuckles.

Right before she lands a punch on his face I caught her fist, my eyes turning red again. Seriously, why does she think she has the right to beat him up?

"For the love of apple pie, it was obviously an accident. If you wanna blame someone blame that guy." I say pointing to the guy who bumped into Naruto. He flinched back. Obviously, he was gonna remain quiet while Naruto got beat up.

"But aside from that, You know Sakura you should get out of that dress and cut your ugly as sin hair before people start thinking you're a girl. I mean monstrous strength and horrible temper can only belong to some disgustingly obnoxious boy…right?"

"YOU! How dare you? Sasuke-kun did you hear what she said?"

Why are you bringing him into the conversation? Sasuke ignored her. She looked back at me, she was about to say something but I cut her off.

"Back off you pink piece of crap before I make you eat your own hair."

She huffs and turns her attention back to Sasuke as if the conversation never happened.

This is going to be a long day.

Iruka explained that whole congrats speech and that we'll be in a three-man-cell except for one group that will have four.

'A three or four man cell? Sounds like two/three too many…' Sasuke thought

'It's perfect! I know they'll team me up with Sasuke-kun!' Sakura thought

'So long as I'm partnered with Sakura…I'll take anybody else…except Sasuke!' Naruto thought

'I wonder where I can get some good chocolate flavored taiyaki around here…I always wanted to eat one, but I live in America…' I (Ren) thought

"Team seven…Haruno Sakura

"Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto cheered as Sakura bowed her head in sorrow.

"Uchiha Sasuke…" Sakura cheered as Naruto bowed his head in sorrow.

"And Roax Ren."Sasuke remained indifferent, Sakura glared at me, and Naruto smiled at me. Well at least one person is happy to be on my team.

"Hmph, isn't Ren a boy's name?" Sakura said in a snooty voice. Okay so Ren may be a boy's name, My parents loved Japanese culture they just didn't notice the gender preference of the name. But I like it. Its unique.

Besides Water Lilies are so much better than cherry blossoms. Except during the sakura festival in Philidelphia! That is freaking awesome.

"Isn't pink your real hair color or did you dye it to match your name like a bitch?" If you haven't noticed I REALLY don't like Sakura.

We snap out of our little argument once we hear:

"Hmm…just don't drag me down…Dunce!"

"Why You-!"

Dunce? What are you? Six? That's the best insult you could come up with? Jeez…

"What you call me?"

"KNOCK IT OFF, NARUTO!" Sakura screeched while hitting the blonde.

I sigh again. Well this will definitely be fun.

~At lunch~

YUMMY TAIYAKI!

Hmmm…Oh this is that whole Naruto ties up Sasuke, Naruto dresses up as Sasuke, Naruto meets Sakura, Naruto gets the runs then blah blah blah.

I finish my taiyaki and walk around to find the rest of my team- oh look! Sakura and Naruto(as Sasuke)

Sakura blushes as 'Sasuke' smiles at her. 'Sasuke- He's looking at me! With bedroom eyes!'

Ew. This is the part where Naruto 'finally starts to understand what he loves about Sakura' I'm sorry but that boy's an idiot. She insults him brutally unknowingly to his face and he likes her more for why she likes cough obsesses over cough Sasuke. I'm leaving. Might as well help the emo-bunny.

~At the room ~

Cool! Onigiries! I took one and started nibbling on it.

"Uhn!" There he is.

'Supid Naruto! Used his shinobi illusions to pass as me!...What's he up to?' the Raven thought.

He finally notices that I'm in the room.

"Yo! What goes on, Emo-Bunny?"

He gave me a look. I rolled my eyes. "Need Help?"

A second later he escaped the ropes. "No."

"Mmkay…" I turn around ready to leave until.

"Do you know what Naruto is up to?"

"Uuuuuuuuuum…no?"

"Ren."

"Oh look! There's a freckle on my wrist! I should show…that guy…from that time…that is somewhere that isn't here, LATER SASUKE!"

"REN!"

I ran away laughing until I found myself where Sakura is…YAY! SASUKE BASHING SAKURA!

Okay let's watch.

"Sasuke my sweet old fashioned boy! 3 did you summon your nerve? I'm right here ready and waiting!" Sakura squealed.

"Recess is over. Where's that jerk, Naruto?" Sasuke growled.

"Your changing the subject again! Can't we get away from Naruto for just a second? He always comes in between us! Him and That Ren! It's because they were badly brought up! Sakura stated with an irritated smile.

Sasuke stopped walking away and turned to her. "You mean…because they don't have parents?"

"They don't have to answer to anyone, ever and it's made them completely selfish! If I did the kinds of things they did the kinds of things they get away with, my parents would ground me for life! Don't you envy them being alone, not having parents nag you all the time? Kids without families always grow up selfish." The pink haired girl stated in a particularly aggravating tone.

"That, and lonely." Sasuke added.

"What?" Sakura was completely caught off guard by her crush's statement.

"Being scolded by your folks doesn't even compare!" The Uchiha stated, not even looking at his new teammate.

"…Wha…What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" Sakura stuttered. What was happening? Why was he so mad?

"You…make me sick!" And he left.

…I hate her. I Hate Her. I HATE HER! SHE DOESN'T AND REFUSES TO UNDERSTAND! I HATE HER SO MUCH! And further more! Doesn't she know that Sasuke's entire family is dead?! Isn't she supposed to be in love with him or something?! SO INCONSIDERATE!

Okay, breathe Ren Breathe…Okay I'm better. Lunch is over, time to meet our instructor…even though he's going to be late…sigh…an emo avenger brat, a knuckle head with ADHD, an insane and selfish pink fan girl banshee and me a blunt and witty tomboy…

Hatake Kakashi I wish you the best of luck.

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TBC

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Next Time: Hatake Kakashi