A/N: I've had a bit of a hard time with this one. In the end, I decided I just needed to get it out here and see what happens. If I'm way out of line, please let me know. The problem with slippery slopes is that once you start down them, it's hard to stop. I think my muse has finally dug in an ice axe and we might be able to slowly start back up. I'm afraid at the moment though, I still am kicking a man when he's down.


The jet touched down with an abrupt bump as gravity finally plucked it out of the sky. The air breaks kicked in and the plane slowed to taxiing speed. Distorted snatches of song disappeared as Horatio's seatmate snapped off her music and packed away her player. She turned at gave him a nervous smile.

"That was easy. I know it's silly, but the landings always bother me." She tilted her head. "I'm not sure why. I always know we'll take off just fine, but when we land I always wonder if we'll be able to stop." Horatio just nodded and gave her his best sympathetic look. She smiled again and patted his hand. "Thank you for listening to the rantings of an old woman. I hope you have a nice visit with your family." She went back to busying herself with her things.

If only, thought Horatio. "Thank you, ma'am. I hope your visit is good too."

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The taxi stopped and Horatio looked out at the house. Lush gardens surrounded it and a fenced courtyard faced the street. Horatio got out and paid the cabbie. He stood in front of the gate staring at the house again struck at how different this house was from Yelina and Raymond's home in Miami. How different it was from the city sprawled out below it and the slums that rose up the hillsides far from it. He looked over the low wall towards the front door. Everything looked peaceful. Horatio straightened and dropped a similarly benign mask over his features. He opened the gate and approached the front door. He hesitated briefly before raising the knocker. Once, twice, thrice. Brass cracked against wood. He took half a step back and waited, looking at the ground, hands on his hips. The curtain beside the door moved slightly and stilled.

Yelina opened the door slowly. She looked carefully at Horatio, her eyes wary. She stepped into the open doorway, and gripped the edge of the wood.

"Horatio. I wasn't expecting you." Horatio wasn't sure how to follow that. He looked down and then back up at Yelina. There were lines around her mouth and at the corners of her eyes. She still dressed impeccably, today in crisp linen, but the effortlessness she used to possess wasn't apparent.

"Have you heard…? Have you heard from Raymond?"

Yelina shook her head slightly and sighed. "Come in, Horatio." She stepped to the side. Horatio entered the house. He looked around. Fresh flower arrangements filled several tables. Yelina followed his gaze. "Something to fill my time," she commented. She waved a hand at a couch. "Please, sit." She stood silently waiting for him to do as she asked. After a few moments of awkward silence, Horatio took a seat perched on the edge, leaning forward his arms braced on his knees. Yelina sat down opposite him. She crossed her legs and watched him. "It's been a long time, Horatio."

Seems like a lifetime ago, he thought sadly. "I should have visited sooner."

"Yes, you should have. But you have a life in Miami." And I had a husband here. She looked around the room again, not meeting his eyes. "So, you are here now. Looking for Raymond." Don't you ever tire of searching? Ever decide to leave him lost?

Horatio tried to catch her eyes. She evaded his gaze, focusing instead on the vase of white flowers behind him. "I was worried about Ray Jr. Worried about you."

Yelina nodded briefly. "Ray Jr. is at school. I drove him myself. Not likely that the brothers will be letting him out of their sight for a while." She smiled remembering the discussion she had had with the headmaster. Yelina let the comment about her pass.

"Has he talked about where he was?" Horatio tented his fingers together and looked through his lashes at Yelina.

"No." He's his father's child with his uncle's heart. "But I haven't pushed him too hard. It was difficult for him down here. He's been doing the best he can. He has friends now. Other boys from school. Some are from this neighborhood. Nice boys."

"How is he doing in school?"

"Doing well. Better than in Miami. He works hard." Trying to please his father. Trying to make him stay this time. How do I tell him that he'd have an easier time catching the wind? Pleasing the rock of Corcovado.

"And you?" Horatio prompted softly.

Again, Yelina avoided his eyes. "I am doing what I have to do."

"That's not the answer to the question."

"It is an answer." She looked down at the hands in between his knees, folded as in prayer. "I can't offer you absolution, Horatio."

His head snapped up. "I never asked."

Yelina's lips twisted slightly. "You never do." She shook her head. "We have known each other for many years. I would hope I've known you better than most. You have always been trying solve the puzzles of the past. You cannot right those wrongs. The past cannot be changed and the future is in God's hands. We can only live with what we are given now. Today."

"I can't just…"

"Let him go? You have to Horatio. Raymond will always be what he is. He will go where he must."

"Yelina…"

"Horatio, you can't give up something you never had." Yelina glanced at Horatio's hands again. The gold band glinted on his finger. "You've gotten married?"

Horatio rubbed the band focusing on it, not on Yelina. "Annabel."

Yelina nodded. "I thought as much. I could hear it in your voice when you mentioned her." Yelina smiled. "And yes I noticed that you tried not to mention her too often. And you still came here. Your Annabel must be very understanding." Horatio refused to meet Yelina's eyes. She smiled. "Not so understanding." Yelina shook her head. She leaned over and took Horatio's hands in hers. "Horatio, you need to go home. You won't find the answers you are looking for here."

Horatio gave her a sardonic smile. "Funny, Annabel told me the same thing before I left Miami."

"Then maybe there just aren't answers to your questions. Maybe you just have to let go." Yelina smiled slightly at his reaction. "I know I'm asking the impossible of you." She tenderly touched his face. "Please Horatio. I enjoyed the time we were given. The time you gave to us. And for a time it was just as it was at the start. But we aren't those people any longer." Horatio just sat. Yelina straightened and leaned back against the couch. She shook her head sadly. "Just don't lose what you have in your hands chasing ghosts." Again, she added to herself.

"He's my brother, Yelina."

She sighed, knowing it was a battle she could never win. "Let me give you the name of the detective that I filed the missing person's report with. And any help I can give you, I will." She stood and went to find her purse. Yelina pulled out a card out and handed it to Horatio. "Ray Jr. gets out of school at 4:30. Come and have dinner with us. If you can. We usually eat about 7 o'clock."

Horatio stood. "I would like that." He took the card from Yelina. "Thank you."

Yelina nodded and touched his face again briefly. "I will call you a taxi. Alright?" Horatio nodded.

"While…While I wait, can I look around?"

Yelina smiled. "Of course. Just let me know what you need." She went to make her call and Horatio set to work.

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