Dicslaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or all things realted to Harry Potter.
Chapter 2:
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. Almost everyone was at the lake, not worrying about school but just having. with the exception of two people. They were trying to find a place which was not crowded.
'Lily, why can't we just be friends in public, I mean.' A raven haired boy asked.
' It's for your own good. You know that. You wouldn't want to be seen with a goody-two shoes now would you?' An auburn headed girl named as Lily said.
' You a goody-two shoes. You know you aren't that. You're my best friend. You're the one that comes up with the most pranks. You're the real marauder around here. Only you can think of pranks and then pretend that you have nothing to do with it. Why shelter under pretence and hide your true self? Are you afraid that something will happen? Or just that people are thinking differently about you? Please Lily. I like our friendship better when there is no yelling when some stuck-up slimy evil slytherin has something bad and you defence them.' James said.
'It's nothing like that at all. I just don't want the glory of every prank. I know James. I like it better when we don't have to yell but it's only a year, you know. We're in our seventh year… ' Lily replied
'Dammit Lily'' James started but was cut off when they heard footsteps coming nearer towards them. They looked at each other and nodded briefly before the acting began.
' POTTER!!! How Many Times Must I Repeat myself? I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU AGAIN. You're just a self-centred prat who will never mature. Why won't you just give up.' And with that Lily took off angry.
Every time Lily rejected James, she really became angry, not because he was asking her out, but because she really wanted to say yes. Angry because she wondered how long it would take for the both off them to explode and go insane. The only time they really could've spend time together were the holidays. But not even there they could act normal. It was all because of The other Marauders; Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and Remus lupin, Lily thought. If it weren't for them James and I could've been friends now. Friends that show affection in public. But on second thought that probably wouldn't have worked.
While being so lost in her thoughts Lily didn't realize that she was standing in front of the Gryffindor Common Room entrance. A small cough made her come back to the reality.
'Well are you just going to stand their the whole time or are you going to give me the password.' The Fat Lady said.
Lily just stared distracted.
'I have other things to do you know.' The fat lady said.
Lily still said nothing.
'Just give me the password so we can do the things we would like to do.' The Fat lady said very annoyed. She clearly wanted to go away but couldn't.
'Gillyweed' came the bored voice from Lily. Lily walked into the common room to find it completely empty. She sat down on one of the chairs nearest to the fireplace , although there wasn't much fire in there. She started suddenly started crying without knowing she was crying. She was just gazing into the fire completely being in a trance only to be waken by the calling of her name. She turned around to see who it was. It was Remus.
'Lils, why have you been crying? What happened?' He asked.
'What are you talking about, I wasn't crying. But to tell you the truth Rem… I just can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like I'm drowning in quicksand. And I've got nobody and nothing to get me out of there.' Lily said her voice quivering.
Remus didn't say anything, he was just holding her. He didn't understand what she was saying, but she was his friend and she needed someone to comfort her. He had a suspicion that it had something to do with his best friend James. He somehow knew that there was more than meeting the surface but he just let it like that, waiting for the two of them to come clean by themselves. After about ten minutes of just standing there Lily muttered something and walked to her dormitory. She walked towards her four-poster bed and lay down on it. The rest of the day she did nothing just thinking about what James had said. She truly didn't know why she didn't want her friendship to be out in the open. Maybe it was because she was used to their secrecy. And with that thought she fell asleep dreaming about just absolutely nothing.
'Lily wake up. We've only got ten minutes till breakfast.' A girls voice said.
Lily muttered something under her breath about why breakfast couldn't be later.
Ten minutes later she was ready.
'I am glad you don't take long to get ready.' The girl voice said.
'Well, I just don't feel like waking up early, unlike you Meagan.' Lily said.
'Whatever. Just hurry up. I don't want Sirius to have eaten all the food before I even had the chance to eat.' Meagan said. And with that Meagan ran to the Great Hall where she ran to the Gryffindor table plopping down and putting as much food on her plate as she could. Ten minutes Lily came and sat down beside her taking some toast with bacon and eggs on her plate.
'S that all you're going to have?' Meagan asked in between bites.
Lily just nodded taking tine bites. She wasn't that hungry. Something was still heavy on her stomach. She looked at Meagan and wondered how she could eat as much as Sirius – who really ate much and always was hungry – and not gain any weight. Lily observed Meagan. Meagan was fairly tall and had brown curly hair that reached the mid of her back. She had golden brown eyes and a upturned nose with a round face. She was pretty but not wow. But what Lily liked most about Meagan was her personality. She was just laid-back and didn't have a lot to worry about. She was fun to hang around and could give you give good advice. But the best of all. She was a good friend and that was what Lily needed. Meagan noticed Lily looked at her and smiled comfortingly at her. At her turn Meagan looked at lily and noticed that lily's hair that was auburn was a little of her shoulders. Her emerald eyes that normally sparkled much lacked of emotion. She noticed that she walked with her head hanging to the ground which maked her shorter than she already was. Meagan didn't liked it when Lily was down. She never was down. She wondered what happened. She looked at Remus and noticed that he also had noticed the change in his friend. She was going to find out what happened to her even if it was the last thing she was going to do.
The following week Lily became more and more depressed. Meagan couldn't get trough Lily which was not normal, because mostly only she - with the exception of James could get trough Lily.
Lily really didn't know what was wrong with her. She only knew that she longed for something. Something that she couldn't quite get. It was disturbing. She was didn't pay attention in her classes and only barely passes them. She was quiet, didn't speak unless spoke to and even then she only would give a nod or a small yes or no. She barely eat anything and thus was becoming thinner with the minute.
'Lily, what is wrong with you?' James concernedly asked when he saw that Lily once again was just gazing into the nothing.
'Nothing.' She answered knowing that he wouldn't believe her.
'What are you hiding from me? Really what is wrong with you! I want to know. It is almost killing me to see you like this Lil.' James said.
'Really it is nothing' Lily answered tonelessly.
With that she stood up and wanted to walk away but felt that someone had taken her hand. The hand that was holding her hand felt so warm and comfortable that she just completely broke down. She threw her arms around that person and looked him/her in the face. To her great relief she saw that it was James. He just hold her while she was crying her heart out. The two of them had a bond that sometimes didn't even needed words to understand each other, just the presence of the other was enough. James knew that she wasn't going to tell him what was bothering but he had his ideas about it. He knew that he was part of why she was acting like she was acting.
'Thanks.' Came the muffled voice from Lily.
' For you my Flower, I will do anything. Anything you ask.' James said. and took a tissue that he had found in a pocket in his robe and cleaned her face from all the tears that had been shedding there. He put an arm around her and together they started walking, following their feet who were leading the way. Neither of them cared of someone saw them like this. They didn't care anymore. Their friendship, health and sanity at the moment was more important then that.
The two of them didn't noticed that that Sirius and Remus had seen the whole thing and were speechless. Until Sirius spoke 'What is going on with you and Evans, Prongs?'
James and Lily jumped away from each other and turned red.
'I-I-I d-d-don't k-k-know what you're t-talking ab-b-bout, Padfoot' James stuttered while turning redder with the second.
'Since when do you and Lily speak to each other in a decent matter. Since when does she not yell at you. What is going on.' Remus said in a calm but firm tone. James looked at Lily clearly trying to find permission to make everything clear. Lily shook her head. Even though not even minutes before this encounter it didn't matter to her if everything was cleared out, she now definitely changed her mind. She just wasn't ready. James looked disappointed.
'Sorry, cannot tell you. Private matters, you of all people must understand that Moony.' He said nonchalantly. He really did not like to lie or hiding the truth for Merlin's sake, it was just that Lily was more important to him now. Especially since he found that when he asked her out as they had agreed to put an act, he really wanted to go out with her and it really hurted him by her saying no to him. But she did not know about those feelings and he would keep it like that, what if ruined their relationship?
'I am telling you when the time is right.' James said and looked at Lily. She nodded a thanks, gave him a kiss on the cheek and said to Remus and Sirius 'I would really appreciate it if none of you two would say nothing.' And with that she walked away, while trying to hide the tears that were falling onto her face. She was glad that this would be their last day before they went home for the summer holidays. She did not understand the flip- flops she had been getting while James was holding her, or the electricity that run trough her body when she had given him a kiss on the cheek. She thought about her crush when they were twelve. She thought she had gotten over that and that the crush turned into brotherly kind of love. But it did, she really liked him as a brother. She didn't like any girls he went out with, which weren't a lot since he had not felt like dating but why was she always feeling like she was stabbed in the back by her best friend when he went on a date? Why did she always wanted to cry when she saw him with another girl? It is not like she never went on a date, it was just that she didn't felt comfortable with them, that's why her longest relationship with a boy was two weeks before she had broken it off. She didn't feel anything when she kissed other guys, but when her lips touched James skin it felt so right, like it was always like that, like it was natural. Even though it was not on the lips it just felt perfect. Then a thought came to her mind, what if I have a crush on him, again only this time for real. What if I like my best friend. Worse what if I am in love with him?! Lily shuddered by the thought of that and tried to suppress the feeling of warmth that came when she thought about her and James.
The following days Lily tried to get the idea of her and James together out of her head, but it seemed that it just went worse. She found herself actually staring at him at almost every moment of the day. Meagan even asked her if there was something James had done because she was staring at him for the tenth time at breakfast.
' What did he do know? Ask you out while the whole of Gryffindor was watching? No. Maybe he hexed that slimy git from slytherin? Still no. He put you under a spell that makes you look at him the whole day? Really not, I could've swear that that was it. Lily are you listening to me? Lily? Lils? Lil? All lessons are cancelled!!!.'
Lily didn't respond because she was day- dreaming about her and James kissing under the light of the moon while walking by the lake at Hogwarts.
'LILY, Look, Sirius turned into an ape! James has pink hair!.' Meagan said, while thinking about other stupid things she would have to say before she could get any answer from Lily.
' His hair has not turned pink, it is still black and messy, just the way I like it.' Lily said absentmindedly forgetting that Meagan was near her.
'What!!!. It is still messy and black just the way you like it? I think the world has gone mad. You like Potter? James Potter? The guy who torments you everyday by asking you out? The guy who could not take no for an answer? Are you feeling well? Should I take you to the Hospital wing.' Meagan said while feeling her forehead checking if she was ill.
'Huh?! No, no of course I don't like Potter. What makes you believe that I like him. He is so arrogant, selfish. He always bullies other people. And always ruffles his cute messy hair when he is nervous and… I just didn't say that, right.' Lily said shocked, realizing what she had said in front of Meagan.
'Oh, but you did.' Said a smirking Meagan.
Lily was speechless. There was no denying her feelings for James now. She looked at James and saw that he was looking back at her with his eyebrow raised. Lily just looked at him in horror and couldn't stop staring. James couldn't help himself by saying ' Evans, I always knew you fancied me, so how about you and me, next Hogsmeade trip.' Lily just turned red. She was trying to think of replies but could not find one. She looked like a beet right now. James was wondering what was going on. It worried him that she had not said anything back. The grin that was on his face, glide of and it was replaced by a worried face. He beckoned for them to go to their special place. She nodded and excused herself from the table and walked away. Suddenly she felt that something was thrown over her. She was about to scream when she heard a voice telling her something before everything went black before her eyes…
