Let the Beast In, Part II
Summary: Rumple/Regina scenes from 3X06, "Ariel," from Rumple's point of view.
"I think you were lonely."
Belle said it herself, years ago, and she was right. At the time she came into his life, he had been lonely.
In fact, he had been lonely ever since the day Regina's lessons came to an end …
No. He's not going to think like that.
He is going to remember, as he has been, just how and when Belle came with him, willingly, brave and beautiful and terrifying, both in depth of her devotion and the strength of her convictions.
He had been lonely, very lonely.
He was lonely then, and he is lonely now.
So is it any wonder his mind creates the image of her here, sitting before him? He has cast her in the role of conscience. It is only appropriate, as it mirrors what she has been to him in reality: a tether to his humanity, and a voice of reason.
But now, when she starts speaking of abandoning his quest to rescue his grandson and return home to her, he knows something is terribly wrong.
And so, to see those shining eyes grow wide with fright, to her gasp out a plea for help, to watch her clutch her slender throat – it should panic him, kick him the gut, but somehow … it's doesn't.
And that's because he knows that, deep down, it's not her. It's not real.
It is the Shadow, taunting him, tricking him. What is real is Regina at his side. It is she who is tethering him, keeping him close. It is not Belle's gentle, caressing voice that brings him back to his senses; it is Regina's sharp tongue that cuts through the illusion to the harsh reality.
He is embarrassed. He is angered. He is annoyed.
He is grateful.
He supposes what he needs right now, after all, is someone to scoff at him, rather than believe in him blindly. Someone to push and prod and call him on his tendencies, both suicidal and selfish. And whatever else is between them, he can always count on Regina for that.
When he explains to her, or tries to explain to her, that he was prepared to die in the saving of Henry … he can't quite fathom the expression that crosses her face. If he didn't know anything better, he'd almost think the idea of him dying actually bothered her somehow …
But of course, that's ridiculous. She sought out his end, just like Cora did. They had both, in their ways, pretended to care for him, but the truth was, neither of them ever did.
Belle. It is Belle who is different from the all the other women who have been in his life. It is Belle who is his true love …
But Belle is not here. Regina is. And when she tells him that he won't die by anyone's hand but her own, he finds it oddly … reassuring.
They fall into their old patterns quickly, as they always do. It is so easy, too easy, to plot with her, to scheme with her, to work together and formulate a plan. All it takes in the blowing of horn, the summoning of a mermaid, and soon, Pandora's Box will be within their grasp.
"And now we wait," he says.
"And now we wait," she echoes automatically, and he has to suppress a grin. After all these years, after all that has passed between them, his dutiful student is still in there, somewhere.
Some part of her still wants to please him.
And oh, all the ways she used to please him …
Stop it, he commands himself. He thinks of Belle, and the accompanying guilt effectively drowns out any lingering, inappropriate memories of his only surviving pupil.
"I suppose I should thank you," he says.
"For what?"
"Well … you may very well have saved my life, back there, you know. With the Shadow."
Regina avoids his gaze and gives a contemptuous snort. "Don't thank me. I didn't do it for you."
"No," he says softly, "No, I don't imagine you did."
She does not do anything for him, anymore. Those days when she seemed to light up in his presence, light up with wickedness, or excitement or … whatever else … those days are long gone. He must bury them, he must forget them, and he must move on.
And he will. In fact, he already has.
It's just … there's precious little to enjoy about being Neverland. And so, in some small corner of his blackened heart, he allows himself, just for a moment, to savor the feeling of standing here with her, his Regina, his wicked one, united in a common purpose: the Dark One and the Evil Queen, working together again.
Because despite everything, she has called on him once more, just as in the beginning.
"I need you. I need Rumplestiltskin."
She has let him in again.
