Bewbs. That is all.
Chapter 2
The Land of Summons was a place hidden from the rest of existence, a realm of fantasy, myth, legend, and of course, Chocobos. Mad raving Chocobos. Sometimes accompanied by rabid Moogles from the widely feared pom-pom and kupo! Tribes, riding across the vast plains, stealing kupo nuts and waging vanity wars amongst each other over who's the fluffiest or the cutest, involving innocent bystanders in their petty games of greed like they own the place!. They roam and hide all over the Lands, violating resplendent peace as they please and face no prosecution nor consequence for their actions due to the difficulty of finding their sinful bodies over such a large area. And unfortunately, The actual expanse of the Land of Summons has never been recorded because, well, it's the kings duty to record the details of a land, and when asked on the matter King Bahamut has repeatedly stated that he 'just hasn't gotten round to it yet'. We all know he won't. Lazy ass he is, all he does is just sit inside that big ass palace he calls his 'humble abode' all day and buy more of those horrendously expensive 'Final Fantasy Memorabilia' cups! And he tells us he's putting taxes up because the royal depository is low 'due to imperial demand'. Well you know what Bahamut? I got your imperial demand right HE..HEY! GET OFF ME TITAN! NO I'M TELLING THEM THE TRUTH, IT HAS TO GET OUT SOMEHOW! YES I TOOK MY TABLETS AT 2 AND 6! YES I SAW DOCTOR PHOENIX THIS MORNING, NOW GET OFF-NO-LET-GO-DAMN-YOU-THEY HAVE TO FIND OUT SOMEDAY! THE TRUTH WILL GET OUT! LONG Live the eternal flames of truth!…..
'Ahem, we apologize for that interruption. Ifrit can get carried away at times. We would like to state he has been taken away to a very safe facility and is being 'treated' as we speak by our very best (and only) physician. We shall resume normal procedure…..about now'.
Back in the Imperial Palace:
Bahamut, still mourning the loss of Clouds angelical features set in clay, and having decided that it'd be best if he distracted himself till he forgot about the withering sorrow within him, began reading over the Chocobo Times in his favorite leather back chair. He preferred the upbeat, good natured news in it, like how a Chocobo recently saved seven Tonberry from eternal depression by replacing their burnt out lanterns with full on Halogen floodlights (perpetually blinding them too, but hey, at least they were happy), than the biting sarcasm and vulgar vanity contained within Kupo! News, with such 'uplifting stories' as 'Fiery Guardsman committed to Asylum after public outbreak due to jealousy over moogles unparalleled gorgeousness'. Much to his satisfaction, Bahamut was actually getting into the optimism of the newspaper and forgetting his troubles when….
Poof!
Now to all who were there, i.e. just Bahamut, and even with his truly magnificent hearing (he constantly takes pride on the fact he can hear Warriors of Light scream his name twenty billion light years away in completely full clarity, while at the same time his wife scolds him for not picking up the kettle that's been squealing for 15 minutes while he bragged), this sound went completely unnoticed, as did immediately afterward the soft swishing sound that accompanied the landing of a shadowed individual behind Bahamut's chair, who rising slowly and quietly, jumped high over his chair, a volley of exotic twirls and flips ensuing, landing directly in front of the dark winged Overlord, his sword drawn in a ready stance, while the room suddenly exploded into a flurry of white and black.
Bahamut, twitching, peered up from the remains of his newspaper, a small, perfectly square slit in his left claw, and met the intruders gaze.
'Master', the cloaked individual greeted, sheathing his sword and bowing low.
Bahamut glared at the figure, looked back down at his now empty hands, still in the positions he had them for holding his paper, and then returned his focus back to the person who had disrupted his very happy and non grieving thoughts.
The cloaked creature appeared confused. 'Master? Is there something the matter?'
'My newspaper…..You destroyed my newspaper'
'It was an emergency, Master'
'But…you could've just asked me to put it down…..'
'Master, this is no time for triviality, there is a serious situation at hand'
'I only wanted to finish that last piece…I was going to find out what happened to the baby Chocobo after it had saved the world, but nooooooo, Mr Choppity-Chopper had to come out of nowhere and cut it into confetti! Well, I guess at least now I don't have to buy party decorations for Neos' birthday..'
'MASTER!'
'Yes, yes, what's the situation, Yojimbo?'
'A terrible plague has come into our land. An evil so foul, nature wilts under its presence, the skies darken wherever it travels! Nothing but Hurricanes and dry lakes follow in its wake! Its only companions are death and misery! It is said that Armageddon itself fears the day it will encounter this most frightening of atrocities!'
Bahamut became worried. (just worried, that's all, cause big dragons don't get frightened, nuh uh, never). 'What, what such thing could be so terrible?'
Yojimbo, taking his time to formulate the information in the most dramatic and attention grabbing way he could, finally proceeded to name the abomination that was stalking the plains of his homeland.
'Terry'
