Hey guys... not in the greatest of moods. Had a massive argument with my friend Mina on Sunday, and she is now hanging out with the "populars". You know. Those kinds of people. And they were picking on some poor Year 5 and I stepped in and told Mina to shut up and she said "Who're you?" My life is so messed up. So if this chapter is sane, that's why. Sorry for unloading all my troubles on you.

Now, just across from where JVJ was foaming at the mouth, a bishop was eating his lunch. Or breakfast. Or dinner. It depends what kind of day you're visualising. But, for the sake of sanity, let's just say it's breakfast. So, um, yes, where were we, bishop eating Shredded Wheat with a special ingredient in it. Said bishop saw JVJ foaming at the mouth, and said:

"Poor guy! He looks really tasty - um, I mean friendly as well!" JVJ heard the bishop, and was not at all disturbed by the fact he had been called "tasty". He saw this bishop eating Shredded Wheat, and thought - BREAD! So he walked over and said:

"Excusez moi, sil vous plait, please get your big butt out of my way!" The bishop was only partially offended by this, thinking If I'm going to eat - I mean greet - him anyway, it won't make much of a difference whether he's rude or not!. So he invited JVJ into his home. Which was a bit of a cool home, if you ask me. I mean, it had freaking stained glass windows! And stuff. But JVJ was in brick mode, so he thought it was a bit of a crap home. Which the bishop didn't really care about because he was going to eat - greet - this dude anywhoo.

The bishop served up JVJ bread, more bread, white bread, wholemeal bread, granary bread, brown bread, bagels, English muffins, crumpets and pitta bread. JVJ ate these up in about two minutes, which didn't give the bishop anytime to season - I mean reason - with him. JVJ, soon began eating the silverware, simply because he was hungry. What quickly followed was two policemen, randomly walking in on the situation and arresting JVJ for eating silverware. Which JVJ was much offended by, I mean, it's not like there's a law saying he can't eat silverware. And if there was the very least people could do was to tell him about it. Meanwhile, the bishop was cooking bolognese sauce, because he had heard that the very best sauce to go with men - I mean beans - was bolognese. He waved the policemen away, saying it was his snack - I mean chap - but, if there was any, they could have the leftovers. The bishop took out his fork and stuck it in JVJ's leg.

"Ow!" cried JVJ, "That's not very nice!" He then into a magical My Little Pony (but just because he thought it would be a good idea. Not because he was obsessed with them or anything) and karate kicked the bishop in the place that will not be named. And then he flew away because My Little Ponies are cool like that.

Oh god, that really was bad, wasn't it. OK, I've got an audition for a stage show on Saturday, so afraid there won't be any more updates until Sunday, because I'm practising.

Eppy Liz xxxxxx (People, send me kisses please. I need comfort. :'( )