"Clarke?" he asked thinking that maybe it was a prank, he's spent his morning thinking about her for the first time in… not true, he always thought about her but not like today, not like she was real. She was abstract, a non-reality, a concept. "What are you doing here?"
"I… we moved here. I have an amazing new job and Madi is going to a good private school. I didn't know where you were after you left so I didn't consider you'd be in Brooklyn but now that I think about it it suits you."
"Did you tell Raven or—or Harper?"
"And Monty. They never mentioned you but they mentioned Miller so I really shouldn't be surprised. Thank you for bringing Madi home, I'm sure you have a busy life to get back to."
"I do," he agreed but hated how ruined he sounded. It's what she does to him. "You… you look good, Clarke. Stay safe, Madi."
Madi stood there frozen, confused by the interaction between the two of them and Bellamy hoped she didn't make the connection that Clarke was who he was talking about before. That she was the one he left because she didn't feel the same way.
Bellamy turned and left, closing the door behind him and he was halfway down the stairs when he heard the door slam and he looked up to find Madi at the railing looking down at him.
"It's her?"
He nodded slowly, "Always."
"You're not going to fight for her?"
"She doesn't want me, Madi. She didn't then and she doesn't now."
"How would you know? You've never told her."
Bellamy shrugged as Agamemnon pulled him down another step. "She was always with somebody else."
"So you fight and you tell her that you've never stopped thinking about her!"
"It's not that easy, Madi. She doesn't want me. She never has! I—I can't fight for something that will never happen!"
"How do you know that it won't? You never tried, you just left!"
Bellamy shook his head and looked down at Agamemnon. "I have to go, Madi. Take care of her, okay?"
"You're walking away again?"
"What other choice do I have? She wasn't exactly happy to see me."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me that Bellamy lived here when I told you I was moving?" Clarke exclaimed into the phone and Raven didn't say anything which annoyed Clarke even more. "Raven?"
"I didn't think I had to. You haven't mentioned him since he left six years ago."
"You were there when he left! You left with him but you at least said goodbye!"
"Don't yell at me, Clarke. You're the one that pushed him away. You're the one that broke his heart and never gave him a chance to be good to you. Everything that's happened the last six years, none if it would have happened if you just let Bellamy in and gotten over everything with Finn and Lexa."
"This has nothing to do with Finn or Lexa or six years ago, I would have just liked to have known that I was moving to the same neighborhood as Bellamy when I told you."
"Okay, I'm sorry, but did you ever question why you're so upset right now? You're not mad at me, you're mad that he didn't say goodbye and that's understandable."
"No, it's not. We were supposed to have more time, he was supposed to leave in three days and the last thing I said to him was 'hurry'."
"You thought you had more time and you didn't think that not telling him that you were in love with him would hurt too. Well, you have a second chance here in Brooklyn, don't let it go to waste and don't take it out on me when it's not my job to tell you about someone you told me to never talk about."
Clarke took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I thought I was never going to see him again and seeing him with Madi our first day here… it tore me up. I lost him and I just so happened to have moved to the same city as him, the same neighborhood? He just happened to be the first person she found when she was lost? Did you show her a picture of him?"
"No, I didn't tell her anything and I haven't talked to him since before you told me you were moving here."
"So they just found each other?"
"That's what it looks like," Raven said and Clarke bit her lip, hating the idea in her head.
"Where does he live?"
"Clarke…"
"I should thank him."
"Text him, I'll give you his number."
"Address. I'll find out eventually."
"6906 Third Avenue, apartment 2B."
"Thank you. I'll see you Thursday?"
"Yeah, I'm picking up Madi from camp and meeting you at Shangri-La after work."
"Awesome! Thank you for helping me with her."
"Of course, who has her the rest of the week?"
"Murphy."
"You're trusting Madi with Murphy?"
"I was trusting Emori with Madi but Murphy was available. I haven't seen the three musketeers yet so I couldn't ask any of them."
"Bellamy sees them everyday so they know you're here."
"I got to go, Raven."
"Tell him I say hi."
"Bye, Ray!" Clarke hung up. "Madi! We're going for a walk, get your shoes!"
"Where are we going?" she called back from her room.
"We're going to walk Jack and get paint for your room and I have to see someone. But it won't be too long so we'll come back here for dinner, okay?"
"Okay!"
Five minutes later they were out the door and heading to Bellamy's apartment. The entire way there Madi asked about everything they saw and Clarke answered what she could. She wasn't Bellamy, she didn't know random trivia or history, he was her other half in the knowledge department. What she didn't know, he did. She was also eighteen and in high school.
She pushed the button for his apartment and waited, he didn't even check who it was before buzzing them in and Madi opened the door with Jack chasing ahead of her.
"You're not Nate," he said standing at the door when Clarke reached the landing.
"Is that a good thing?" Madi asked as Jack bound into Bellamy's apartment to Agamemnon.
"You're always welcome here, Madi, I'm just not too sure Clarke is."
"Can we talk? We were going to take Jack to the park and I thought that maybe you and Agamemnon might want to join us."
"Clarke…"
"It was six years ago and you did what was best for you, I—I have to believe that."
"I couldn't stay any longer."
"I don't want to argue about it, I just hate that you didn't talk to me or anyone. Please join us, I—I've missed you."
Bellamy looked to the floor but nodded, "I have to text Nate to cancel and get Aggie's leash."
"Cool," Clarke smiled.
"So you're a foster mom?" Bellamy asked a whole block from his apartment watching Madi with the dogs fondly.
"Yeah, I kept seeing Madi at the community center where I volunteered and I found out that she was living in the group home and there are drug addicts and gang members in there and I had to get her out of there so I did and then I was hired at Brooklyn University as an art professor and I'm well aware that Midwood is six miles away but with the subway—"
"The R north getting off at Atlantic Ave, transferring to the 5. You picked probably the worst place to live when you work in Midwood! Then again at least you're not on the L line. Did you think this through at all?"
"Raven's here. Murphy and Emori too. I hadn't reached out to Harper and Monty or Jasper, I was going to… I didn't know you were here until you showed up at my door with Madi. Thank you for helping her, by the way."
"Of course. I get that you want to be close to people you know, but it's not exactly the smartest move when you have to spending two hours on the subway every day."
"You're right, I didn't think it through, but after Madi getting lost yesterday, I'm glad I moved us here because she found you."
Bellamy sniggered, "I was insanely hungover, trying to sweat it out. Blame Nate and Jackson."
Clarke chuckled, "What's the deal with them? I hear something different from everyone."
"Everyone?"
"Raven, Miller, Murphy, my mom."
"Ah, Dr. Griffin. Does she still hate me?"
"You left me," she shrugged, of course it wasn't that simple.
"She didn't like me long before that. And all Nate tells me is that they're good friends, they're really into wrestling and the Bills. They trashed the apartment two weeks ago when the Bills annihilated the Lions in the preseason. Don't give me that look, I care not for sports, I just know what I hear them go on about."
"Bellamy, could you answer me honestly?"
"You want to know why I left."
She refused to look up at him, not exactly embarrassed by the request, more that he knew what she wanted. "It's not too much to ask."
He nodded and Clarke could hear him thinking of what to say. "The truth? I was in love with you and now… now I'm in love with the idea of you."
Clarke froze at his statement before bursting into a fit of laughter. Bellamy grimaced, looking back at her.
"I'm serious, Clarke."
"I know," she said, trying to sober up, wiping the stray tear from her cheek and looking at his gorgeous speckled face. "I know, I'm laughing at how idiotic we were because I was in love with you too. I compared everyone to you. I saw Madi and saw Octavia."
"That's what I thought when I met her yesterday. I took her to Harper's café because it was on the way to your place."
"Bellamy…"
"I meant what I said, I'm not taking it back or regretting it. It's been six years and I'm not the same guy I was back then so I'm not assuming you're the same girl. No matter how much I want to kiss you right now—all the time, really—I'd rather get to know who you are now and see if I care about this Clarke like I do the old Clarke."
Clarke nodded, she didn't want that, she knows no matter what version of Bellamy there is, she'll always want him.
2 MONTHS LATER:
"Bellamy!" Madi called running out of the school and jumped into his arms.
"Hey, kiddo, want to go visit your mom?"
"That's a far walk," she grimaced getting down and Bellamy took her book bag and threw it over his shoulder.
"Then it's a good thing there's this thing called a subway."
"What about Jack and Aggie?"
"They were just walked and Clarke is waiting for us to go to dinner."
"Are you two finally together?"
Bellamy laughed, "No, we're not."
"Why? Isn't that where this is headed? You both look at each other like the world is ending and—"
"Jeez, if the world's ending I better get my shit together, huh?"
"Dollar for the jar!" she called sticking her hand out.
"We're going to have to readjust this swear jar thing because I'm going to be broke by the end of the month at this rate."
"You just need to watch your mouth better. So you're going to kiss her?"
"No, you're always around! I haven't spent a moment alone with her."
"She's amazing and you love me."
Bellamy laughed, "She is and I do. You know I'm always here for you, even if you're not with Clarke—which I doubt will happen—you will still have me."
"There's not a chance of that right?"
"She loves you and you love her, I doubt the state will ignore that."
"I watched a TED Talk a while back, this guy is inventing words to describe feelings and one of the words describes how I always felt until Clarke found me."
"John Koenig."
"Yeah, him. Anyway, its monachopis; the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place."
"Madi…"
"No, it's… I like being here, I like you and Raven and Miller and even Murphy. Clarke talked about your friendships before we moved here so I felt like I knew you guys. I didn't know that you were Bellamy when we met and I feel like I should have, you're who she described only better."
"Bellamy also isn't a common name unless you're a woman in France."
"Really?"
"Are you telling me that you've met another Bellamy and you haven't shared with me? Am I being gipped on meeting another Bellamy? I know a lot of Madi's and I was going to introduce you but—"
"There are three in my class," she rolled her eyes as they stepped onto the L and rode all the way to Atlantic Ave.
"So why are we going to Midwood for dinner?" Madi asked as they hopped on the 5 to Brooklyn College.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we go out all the time but in Bay Ridge and that onetime in Murray Hill."
"How do you know the neighborhood's name? Doesn't matter. Clarke said this place is amazing."
"This could be a date, you know."
Bellamy sighed, that was the intention when he asked her to go after she mentioned it, "I'm well aware."
"So I'm the third wheel?"
"No, never and who told you about those?"
"The seven other people who watch me."
"Bastards," he shook his head.
"Swear jar. Again."
Bellamy pulled his wallet out and handed her another dollar. "You, my darling, could never be a third wheel, okay? Everything we do you're invited to."
"Okay. Hey, Bellamy," she asked, her voice softer yet pitchy. "I wish you were my dad," she whispered.
Bellamy gasped a shallow breath, it was so unexpected but so welcome that he pulled her into a hug. "Me too, Mads."
Madi ran into Clarke the moment she was in their sights, standing in front of the restaurant, looking impeccable in a red and orange floral sundress.
"You're stunning," he told her as she released Madi.
He noticed she had no make-up on, maybe some mascara but she doesn't need any of it, she's a natural beauty.
She beamed at him, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "You clean up well."
"Work," he shrugged trying not to feel the lingering tingle of her lips on his cheek.
She reached up and tapped the corner of his glasses. "You wear your glasses at work?"
"Occasionally."
"You're a preteen's wet dream."
Bellamy choked on his tongue, not the image he wanted in his head.
"I have no idea how your students concentrate with you looking like that every day," she added before stepping back from him and looking to Madi. "Hungry?"
Madi nodded vehemently, opening the door and Bellamy kept a wary eye on Clarke.
Once they were seated, Madi went to wash her hands of the subway grime and Bellamy confronted Clarke. "Last time I saw you like this you were drunk because I said you didn't know what fun was, but this isn't fun Clarke, this is sloppy Clarke. So what's going on?"
"They asked if I wanted to adopt her today."
"And you're afraid she'll say no? Clarke, Madi adores you!"
"That doesn't mean she's going to want to stay with me forever!"
Bellamy knelt on the floor next to her and held her hand, "You are the best mom. You have a daughter that adores you and wants to be with you. Six years ago I wouldn't be able to say that because you were so logical and so in your head and ignoring your heart. I know why, I was there through everything, and you let the fear of letting someone in, letting someone break through your emotional walls again became a risk to you. I'm not going to hurt you or Madi. So please, stop treating me like I'm going to."
Clarke watched him for a minute and he rolled back onto his heels waiting for her response, jumping at the voice behind him instead.
"What's going on?" Madi asked as Bellamy sat back in his seat.
"I want to adopt you," Clarke said holding back nothing. Bellamy sat back proud of his princess.
"So why are you crying?"
"I doubted that you want me to, that you want to be my daughter."
"Why? I've been calling you 'Mom' for a month, why would I call you that if I didn't mean it?"
"I don't know, I thought that maybe you didn't want it to be permanent or something. I love you, Madi and I know I don't say it enough but it's because I don't want to push you away or make you feel like you have to say it back."
"Stop. Mom," she smiled saying the word. "I want you to be my mom for real. You've been the best part of my life for two years!" Madi hugged Clarke and it took everything in Bellamy's power to not join them because he's thought of them as family since that first day. They're everything he wants in the world.
"Good, because I want to tell them yes," Clarke smiled back at her.
"What about Bellamy?"
He froze, his eyes darting back and forth between them, not knowing what to say or even if he should say something because he wasn't exactly a part of them, not yet at least.
"What do you mean?"
"What is he going to be when you fully become my mom?"
"I—Madi, that's between me and Clarke to decide and…"
"You said you want to be my dad."
"You did?" Clarke asked glaring at him.
"Yes, I did but she's saying it out of context."
"Well then tell me, Bellamy, how does she know about you wanting to be her father?"
"Because she said she wishes I am and I agreed. She's amazing, Clarke and I wouldn't take back the last two months I've had with either of you. But right now with you drunk, you're not who I want to be with. You have the craziest mood swings when you're drunk, it's worse than Octavia when she was pregnant."
"You want to be her dad? Okay, be her dad."
"Stop it, Clarke. Why are you being like this?"
"Because I love you and you don't want to be with me yet you want my daughter!"
"First off, don't say it like that, people will get the wrong idea like you just did because I'm in love with you still. I asked you out and you invited Madi, whom was calling herself a third wheel the whole ride over because everyone knew it was a date but you!"
Clarke blinked twice before speaking, totally wrecked, "It was?"
"Obviously," Madi commented and Bellamy gave her a look. "Sorry."
"We agreed to get to know each other again. I spent my weekends with you, half my week nights too, and you're the same Clarke that I fell in love with six years ago, you're just better at seeing and acknowledging people's feelings, aside from mine apparently."
"I've never been able to read your emotions and don't think you haven't changed, Mr. Heartstrong, you're a lot more logical than you were six years ago."
"I'm a professional adult, I pay my bills on time."
"Your only qualification," Clarke smirked
"Why do I like you?" he groaned dramatically rolling his eyes.
"You love me, Bellamy Blake, you can't take it back."
"No, and I never will," he smiled.
"So are you guys going to kiss or…"
"Maybe later without prying eyes but right now we have an adoption to celebrate!" Bellamy smiled.
30 MONTHS LATER:
"I don't think I would have passed history without you," Madi said, her feet swinging her feet under his desk that she was sitting on.
"It's not like I'm a seventh grade teacher or anything," Bellamy smirked, finishing his classes' finals.
Madi rolled her eyes, "You're ridiculous."
"Definitely. Are you sure you're okay with staying with Raven for two weeks?"
"Yeah, she's going to teach me how to build a car!"
Bellamy grimaced, "Fun?" He closed his grading book and packed it with his school issued laptop in his messenger bag before locking the graded tests in his desk for the weekend.
"More fun than you and Mom in Niagara Falls. What kind of honeymoon is that anyway?"
Bellamy shrugged, "Six months ago I would've said fun but she's going to complain every moment we're there."
"She already does that here. I'm never getting pregnant if it turns me into a bitch."
"Swear jar and don't call your mother a bitch."
"I didn't, I said she's acting like one."
"Po-tae-to, po-tah-to."
"Are you done? Mom says we're picking up your tux at four-thirty."
"We are, let's go slow poke," he smiled throwing his bag over his shoulder and heading to the door.
"Are you nervous?" Madi asked walking on the sidewalk towards the tailors.
"About marrying your mom? No and yes."
"Being a dad?"
"No, you already love me," he smirked, nudging her.
"You know what I mean."
"I do and I wouldn't say nervous. I'm excited and also afraid that I'll teach him the wrong thing and he turns into a serial killer."
Madi perked up at the gender usage, "It's a boy?"
"I hope so," Bellamy smiled dopily, he's already raised Octavia when he was a kid himself. He wants the challenge of a boy. "There are too many girls in our house as it is."
"You want to even the roster, but you already have Aggie and Jack."
"Dogs don't get dinner votes."
"I will always choose pizza over kimchi and you're too obsessed with Asian cuisine," Madi grimaced and
"I'm part Filipino, it's in my DNA. And I'm going to find something Asian that you like more than sushi."
"That's not going to happen. I can eat sushi every day."
Bellamy chuckled, opening the door of the tailors for Madi to walk in ahead of him.
Bellamy really couldn't complain about his life, he has two amazing children, a beautiful wife that brought those children into his life and two dogs that burrow under the covers in the night. So maybe he could complain about the lack of sex he has with Clarke because of their kids and pets, but he truly couldn't, they're the best part of his life.
Clarke changed jobs after their son Jacob Wells was born and became an expedition designer at the Museum of Modern Art and soon after Bellamy became a history professor at Columbia so they moved the family into Manhattan so they could be closer to their jobs. Madi went to Columbia because Bellamy's children receive free tuition. And Jacob had to be difficult but also a freaking genius so he went to MIT at sixteen, majoring in structural engineering and during his time there he created the world's strongest building composite.
Bellamy couldn't be prouder.
