Façade: Behind the Scenes
Chapter One: Bus-Boy Billy
"Alright, everyone take your seats. No pushing, no shoving. We're not in a hurry like bus number one. They actually have somewhere to be in a short amount of time."
We followed the instructions given to us with little problem. I say "little" because Courtney shoved Eva forward, and the latter retaliated with a shove of her own, and the former counsellor in training landed... right on top of me. "OOF!" Great... What a fantastic way to start a brand new season.
Noah helped me up. "You okay, Codemeister?"
"Been better, been worse," I said, brushing myself off. We continued down the aisle before taking a seat near the back of the bus.
Once everyone had taken their seats, the blond guy at the front of the bus (the one who had instructed us to take our seats) began to speak again. "Everyone, listen up. My name is Billy, and Mr. McLean has instructed me to take roll."
"Roll call?" Noah questioned. "Can't you just count how many people are on the bus?"
"How else am I gonna learn your names?" He cleared his throat. "Ezekiel?"
"What?"
"...Okay. He's here... Uh... Noah?"
"Present."
"Uh-huh... um... Katie?"
"Isn't he, like, the cutest guy ever?"
"Nuh-uuuuuh! Justin is the cutest guy ever!"
"Maybe they're both the cutest guy ever!"
"Aww... you're so smart, Katie!"
"You're so smart-ER, Sadie!"
Billy looked over his clipboard. "Well, I won't have to ask who Sadie is... Hmm... Tyler?"
"Here, man."
Billy gave Tyler a long hard look, apparently puzzled by something. But he shook it off and continued. "Freaky... Uh... Courtney?"
"I am SO not supposed to be here!"
"...That's definitely you." He looked over his list again. "Did I miss any--oh shoot!" He lightly smacked himself in the forehead with his clipboard. "Sorry, guys. I'm new."
"That explains why you're still alive," Noah mumbled.
Billy looked up again. "What?"
"Well, you're an intern, aren't you?"
"So?"
Noah rolled his eyes. "Nothing, nothing..."
After a few seconds of silence, Billy continued. "I take it you're Eva, and you back there are Cody?" We both nodded. "Good." He turned to the bus driver. "You know where to go."
"Next stop, Toronto," the driver said as he shifted the gears, and the bus began to move.
Katie and Sadie both giggled as the speed of the bus began to pick up. "Theeee..."
"Don't do it, you two!" Noah warned them. They didn't listen.
"Theeeee..."
"I'm warning you!"
"Alright, alright, fine," Katie and Sadie conceded.
Or so we thought.
"Theeee wheels on the bus go round and round! Round--"
"UGH!!" Noah slammed his head on the window. "God, if You're there... be merciful and teleport us to Toronto PRONTO." When nothing happened, he groaned. "Someone's not as merciful as He wants us to think."
"You can't exactly make God do anything," I pointed out. "He's not your lackey, you know."
Noah wasn't listening; he was too busy slamming his head on the window... repeatedly.
"The horn on the bus goes beep-beep-beep..."
-X-
"The... uuuh... wristbands on Billy are black-black-black..."
"Cody..." Noah finally spoke up after about a half an hour of torture.
"Yeah?"
"...Punch me in the face."
I stared at him and shook my head. "Dude. I'm not hitting you."
"Please. I need something to distract me from the pain..."
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, it's not that bad. Try to read something."
"There is absolutely no way I'll be able to read anything with them singing." He endured for at least another ten seconds before nearly losing his mind. "UGH! Blonde Tyler!"
The intern didn't stir, though Tyler did. "Dude, my hair is brown."
Noah groaned, and I poked his shoulder, getting his attention. "Billy," I whispered.
"Right, right." He called out again. "BILLY!"
Finally, the intern turned. "What?"
"I'm losing my mind over here!" He gestured toward the two similarly-clad girls before us. "Please... make it stop..."
Billy rolled his eyes and got Katie and Sadie's attentions. "Can you please stop singing? You're giving that kid a migraine."
The two stopped singing, but they weren't done speaking. "Aww..." Katie whined. "Singing songs makes bus rides fun!"
"Yeah, what are we gonna do to keep us from dying from boredom?" Sadie added.
"Read a book, maybe?" Noah suggested, not too thrilled with the idea that it probably wouldn't be picked up.
"...That's a great idea, Noah!" Sadie squealed, and she picked up a book. "This is, like, my totally favourite book ever."
"Oh, mine, toooooo!"
"Greeeeat," Noah muttered. "Now can you please shut up and read?"
"Noah--" I tried to get him to stop; he was only making things worse. He apparently didn't care.
"I'm surprised Courtney hasn't said anything about their singing yet." We turned to the former CIT, who had just looked up when her name was spoken.
"Sorry, Noah, but I'm trying to make an important call. Can you please keep it down?"
I chuckled as Noah's eye twitched from the absurd irony.
"So, who ya callin', eh?" I heard Ezekiel ask the former CIT.
"My lawyers," she said quickly before gesturing for Zeke to shush before returning her full attention to the phone.
But neither her attention nor ours was kept elsewhere for long...
"LIKE, OH MAH GAWD!! BILLY IS SOOOO HOTT!!"
"Oh, crap," Noah muttered. "I'm starting to regret suggesting for them to read."
The intern at the front of the bus, however, didn't have the same expression we had. Blushing madly, he stammered, "Wh-what? Uh, sorry, but... you two aren't exactly my type..."
Katie and Sadie looked up at him, and giggled. "Oh, we don't mean you," Sadie said.
"Not that you're not hot or anything," Katie quickly added.
"Because you are."
"But yeah, we're talking about this book right here: Before the Dawn by Stephen Mayor."
"Billy in this book is, like, a complete hunk."
"Yeah, I know! A total hunk!"
"He sparkles."
"Like, oh my God, he totally does!"
"And he's got this girlfriend Edwina, who is like the prettiest girl ever."
"Though not as pretty as Sadie, though."
"Aw, Katie..."
Noah's twitch spread to his entire body. I was hit a few times as a result.
-X-
My egghead buddy was the first one off the bus once it finally came to a stop in front of the abandoned film lot. "LAAAAND!" he cried, falling face first on the asphalt.
"I wouldn't lay there if I were you," Billy said as he stepped off the bus. "What if you get hit by a car?"
"I'm ready for it."
I chuckled as my shoes touched pavement. "Noah, you have issues, man."
"Issues?" Noah repeated. "You had bread in your pants once."
"And I have a bra in my pants now. Your point?"
"...I used to think you were sane."
Ignoring that statement, I pulled Noah up to his feet before focusing my attention on the film lot. "Holy crap. That's one run-down film lot, dude."
"Always the perceptive one, aren't we, Cody?"
"It's why you love me."
I laughed as Noah choked on my words. "C-C-Cody!" he shouted, blushing deeply.
"Oh, grow a sense of humour."
"I have a sense of humour. It just doesn't involve rumours of my sexual orientation!"
Before I could retaliate, Billy stepped in between us. "Alright, you two. Quit making out over here and follow the rest of us."
"Hey!" Noah was quick to complain. I just shook my head and caught up with the rest of the group.
"So, this is the place the campers are gonna be competing?" Tyler asked, curious.
"Castmates, and yes," Billy confirmed. "But you aren't staying here. Mr. McLean just wanted me to show you this place and make you jealous that you aren't competing here."
Courtney growled as she pulled out her phone and began to call her lawyers... again.
Eva also growled, but she didn't move. Everyone else seemed indifferent about not competing there.
"Hey, hey, it's my job," he defended himself, looking a little intimidated by Eva's glare. "I don't make the rules." He led us back out of the film lot. "You'll actually be staying in the hotel across the street. It's not as fancy as the Playa des Losers, but that's alright because Mr. McLean is allowing you to check out the town. You just need to sign a few confidentiality agreements and be back here by ten each night."
"Aw, sweet!" Tyler whooped. "We can go anywhere we want?"
"Anywhere in Toronto," Billy pointed out, "though I think you should probably stay in this general area."
"Oh, my God!" Sadie squealed. "Katie! We can visit your mom!"
"Oh, my God!" Katie repeated. "Sadie! We can visit your mom!"
"Oh, we should totally visit your mom!"
"We should totally visit your mom!"
"How about we visit each other's moms?"
"...Sadie, you are a genius!"
"Oh, you're more geniuser than I am, Katie!"
Noah groaned, despite having the guffawing goofball that is me standing right next to him. "Please punch me in the face. I beg of you..."
-X-
And that is chapter one, my dear readers.
So far so good, right? Not so much the hell you were expecting yet? Well, except for Noah, of course.
But that hell, that's coming soon. Very soon. I guarantee it...
...
There, don't you just feel warm and fuzzy inside after reading that? XD Probably not. So, to cheer you up, here's a little game I like to call NAME THAT MOVIE!
I probably won't do this a lot. Heck, maybe I'll never even do it again. *shrugs* Don't know yet.
Anyway, there are two obscure movie references (at least done purposefully) in this chapter. And no, the Twilight spoof isn't one of them. I wanna see if any of you can catch them. :D
