I tend to suffocate in my own insecurities.
I'm so self conscious as to what other people think about me. Like there words are weight, holding me down. I feel sometimes that it be better if I just disappeared entirely, then they'll have nothing to talk about.
Feliciano is better than me in every way; nicer, cuter, more talented. He can be the both of us. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so crappy about being the eldest, and being expected to be the best.
Everyone expects me to be something I'm not.
Perfect.
He was about two blocks from the animal center he was being forced by his father to work at. Well I suppose it wasn't exactly forced, since his determination drove him to get the job... He then realized something: he was starving.
Lovino hadn't been eating well lately. He kept skipping meals and forgetting to stock up on food. This was strange, since Lovino was always hungry. There was complementary breakfast at the hotel he was staying at, but he wanted pasta not pancakes. And today he had forgotten pack a lunch, AGAIN!
Consequently, he's started to loose a lot of weight. He doesn't look sickly, just a little thinned out...
He halts in front of a convenient store. Checks his watch.
It reads '8:42'
Awesome!
That's just enough time for him to buy something to fill his belly before his shift starts. And lunch... he'll probably skip it.
Romano walks in to the store. It's medium sized air conditioned, and not a lot of customers. He wonders why he had never noticed it before.
There was a rack on the counter where per-made bento boxes wee waiting to be purchased, a shelf full of nothing but rammen, a fridge full of rice balls; all in all it was a regular little convenient store. Except for the back wall.
For some reason, this wall, unlike the other simply painted white walls line with shelves or posters or prices, was covered floor to ceiling with piles and piles of caned peas!
"What the hell!?"
I'm not sure why, but he had to go examine this bullshit himself! He just couldn't believe it, of all the things to... Why the hell? Peas!?
He went over, and picked up a can from the shorter front most row. Can in hand, he looked up at the towering wall. All the labels were identical, but each followed a patter, turned a centimeter more to the right than the last one, as if spinning in slow motion.
'The Great Wall of Peas, Daze!" The label read.
Some one hand made these labels, put them on thousands of cans of peas, and stacked them up in an intricate order like this?
"That's so fucking stupid!"
Lovino was about to go on a rampage about how if some one has that much time to wast, they can start making pasta to sell instead of bentos. But, fate works in mysterious ways.
When he turned to go yell at whatever employee he could find, he bumped into someone who was walking over, thus dropping the can of peas on their foot, and falling backwards.
"Damn bastard, watch were your going!"
"I'm so sorry!" The man said in a Spanish accent, scurrying to pick up the dropped can and lift Romano of the ground.
Lovino knew damn well that the incident was his fault. But he would blame the idiot man who apologized anyway.
"You should be sorry, bastard!" He scowled. Then he noticed the man was standing on one foot, and realized he dropped a heavy ass can of peas on his toes. "Are you..." He started, to pride full to finish the sentence.
"Hm? Oh! I'm fine, love. I'm sure it's not broken!" The man smiled brightly, putting his foot back on the ground. But that one word played over and over in Romano's mind, tormenting him. Broken.
He had said it so casually and with out malice, not even referring to the Italian. But still, a flash of white pain shot through his chest, and his eyes watered; flooding his features with unimaginable sadness.
"Are you okay love. What's the mat-" The Spaniards words are cut of when Lovino looks up at him; over whelming him with emotion. His eyes go wide, and a slight blush dust his cheeks.
"Come with me." He says simply. Romano has no time to react because he is pulled up and dragged out of the store.
"Come back soon, aru!"
"HEY! What the hell you bastard!? You can't just kidnap people!" Lovino yells, trying to pull away from the mans strong grasp. Luckily, hes holding his right arm, and not the sliced up and sore left one in that killer hold.
"This isn't kidnapping?" He laughs with a dopey smile.
"Yes it is, you idiot! I don't know you and you're taking me some where against my will!" Lovino looked back, they were a couple blocks from the store, his work building growing farther and farther away. A stranger thing to be worried about at a time like this, but he didn't want to be late for work...
"I'm Antonio Cardio; an art teacher at the local high school. My favorite color is red, I'm twenty two, and am originally from Spain! I like the sound of ocean waves, the smell of a home cooked meal, and when people smile. Also my favorite food is tomatoes!"
"Why the hell are you telling me all this, tomato bastard?" He asked angrily.
Antonio laughed as the approached a very tall building, and pulled Lovino through the doors. "Because now you know me! And I have something very important to show you! This way!"
Lovino wasn't happy. But he was curious and sure the idiot was no threat, so he got in the elevator with him
Discouraged that he was going to be late for work because an idiot decided to kidnap him, he figured he minus well see what it was that was so important that they had to run all the way here. He must be insane.
"So, what's your name?" Antonio asked, when the elevator stopped on the 18th floor. They walked to a room at the end of the hall, the only one with out a room number on it.
"Lovino. Or Romano. Whatever bastard."
"Lovi or Roma? There both so cute!" Antonio swooned, hugging Romano, before being push abruptly off.
"Don't touch me bastard, and those aren't my names!"
"Lovi, you're so cruel..." Antonio whined pitifully as he unlocked the door with a card key. He walked in, and from what Lovino could tell, it was an art studio!
Paint splattered the smooth stone walls, a giant window. Canvases everywhere; empty, finished, in progress, or covered. A messy brown couch sat perched close to a fire place. Art supplies was every where. Clay paintbrushes, endless markers and papers. An orange shag carpet covered a small section of the hardwood floor. Dimmer lights where all over. A closet. A TV. A door way that Lovino assumed led to a kitchen or something.
"This way, Lovi." Antonio led him across the disheveled room, over a half drawn picture of handcuffs and various other works, to a large canvas by the window. It was covered with a white tarp, and sat poised on a stage like elevation of the floor that made it stand out above the others.
"What the hell is it?"
Antonio pulled the tarp off and Lovino was shocked.
It was a painting of a cage shaped vaguely like the upper half of a human body. The bars were rusted and old, yet differently aged locks were making sure it stayed closed. One hand was shown to be putting new locks on. The other hand, however, was ripping open the chest and in the rip was a beautiful blue sky. It was an unrealistic, yet vastly inspiring metaphor. It took Lovino's breath away.
"I call it 'Self Liberation.' Your the first person to see it, besides myself. What do you think?" Antonio ask, with that sparkling smile of his.
Lovino looked at the hansom smiling man, then quickly away, feeling a sting of red invade his cheeks. He focused all his attention on the painting before him. True enough, it was a gorgeous masterpiece. Worthy of it's own showcase by any means! That doesn't mean Romano would praise it so highly out loud.
"It's... good. I suppose..." He mumbles pretending to be disinterested.
"Awwww! really, Lovi? You think so? I'm so happy! This is probably the happiest day of my life!" Antonio said, wrapping Lovino into a tight tug and spinning him around the room.
Put me down, bastard!" Lovino yelled, kicking and punching in retaliation. When he realized this wasn't working, he sunk his teeth hard into Antonio's neck. That did the trick.
"Ouch!" The Spanish bastard said, putting Lovino down gently."Did..." he felt the teeth marks on his neck, "Did you just bite me?"
"Humph! That's what you get bastard." The grumpy Italian says, crossing his arms, "I told you not to touch-" *GRUMBLE~!*
The loud growl of Romano's stomach cuts off his own sentence, and his face glows bright red with embarrassment as the Spanish man laughs.
With all the rage of a cut Italian tomato, Lovino swings his fist wildly, yet only succeeds in knocking the Spanish man into a clutter of paper and oil pastels that were on the edge of the couch and causing then to fall. Dropping to the floor with them, was a gun.
I was a small hand gun, but not exactly the kind you keep around the house. And it looked expensive.
"What the hell, bastard! What is this crap, you really are a kidnapper aren't you!?" A wide eyed Lovino yelled in shocked surprise mixed with a tinge of fear.
He peeked over at Antonio who was grimacing at the gun like it had just screamed the mans deepest darkest secret out the window. His eyes weren't smiling like they had been since Lovino met the Spaniard, and he sucked his teeth viciously in disgust at the weapon.
"Don't worry about it." He said calmly.
Romano wasn't gonna let him blow over this that easily, and he tried to argue, "But it-"
"I told you not to worry about it right?" Antonio asked rhetorically, the dangerous gleam in his eyes making Roma keep quiet. "Then just don't worry. It's for my protection, not anyone elses harm."
He couldn't help it, the dominant way Antonio had talked to him in the husky daring voice kinda did something for him. He nodded silently, growing red all over again at this sudden discovery.
"Lovi!" Antonio says, noting the deep red covering Lovino's face and going back to his usual self, "You're so cute~ Right now, right now you look like a ripe tomato!" He goes in for a hug, but Lovino head buts him in the stomach.
"Don't call me cute! Stupid Spanish tomato bastard!"
Antonio smiles that sparkling smile, despite the blood he coughed up from the blow.
At some they left the studio, in favor of Antonio's actual apartment. There they started working together to make dinner. Of course, Lovino wanted pasta, and Antonio is finding it hard to say no to the endearing little Italian.
They were eating in silence.
Or at least Roma was. Antonio was going on and on and on about one topic or another. He would carry on three full conversations before realizing Romano was to preoccupied with his thoughts to listen to a word he said; much less reply.
'Stupid bastard Antonio! Why would he just kidnap me like that and drag me to his stupid apartment!? Not that it's the worst thing in the world, but I'm so late for work! If he wanted to know what I thought of his amazi- STUPID art work, he could have just sent me a picture or something!... But that would require him getting my number... NO. WAY. No way in Hell! But I'm a complete stranger, why'd he care what I think anyways? And I'm the first person he's shown it to. Well, he has been real nice and hospitable, even when I yell at and injure him. But I suppose a kidnaper has to be... or a masochist... At least the pasta's good.'
Lovino slowly raised his head to look up at the smiling Spaniard, watching him closely from across the table.
This made him blush. A month locked away and another on his own. Not to mention he usually gets over looked in favor of Feliciano. Roma just wasn't use to this kind of undivided attention.
"What are you staring at bastard!?"
Antonio beamed brightly, "Lovi, you're just so cute!"
"Shut up!" Lovino yelled in embarrassment, suddenly getting up from the table, "I'm out of here, tomato bastard!" He started for the door in a huff.
Antonio paused. He wasn't exactly sure why he felt such a strong connection to the young Italian when he first encountered him in the little convenient store, but he did. And the special art work that he worked so hard on, he wanted to share it with him. And the time he was spending with him now, he didn't want it to end.
"Wait! Lovi, don't leave yet!" Antonio screamed a bit fearfully, dashing to the door and slamming it back shut before Roma could even finish opening it. He stood there for a moment, hand still on the door, catching his breath and peering down at the teen.
"Um, bastard, I really do have to go. I'm going to be super late for work! Not that I'm on time right now anyways, I should have been there an hour ago. But A certain Spanish bastard wanted to kidnap me!"
Antonio beams brightly with relief, pleased to see that his Lovi had somewhere to be and didn't just hate his guts. "Oh! Work, of course! Okay, let me walk you down." Romano didn't agree, but he didn't resist when Antonio followed him into the elevator.
"So, Lovi, what do you do?"
"I'm a vet assistant at the pet store a few blocks from here. I spend most of my time cleaning and answering phones though..."
"Oh! That sounds so cute for you, I hope everyone's real nice to you. I would hate for you to get heavily scolded for me making you late."
At this, Lovino snorted with mock laughter. "Yeah right! My boss, Mathew, he's like the nicest person in the world! If anything, he might apologize to me for having me work at a time that's inconvenient for me, or something like that. But, because he's so nice, people usually try to get over on him and I'd have to kick their asses. Glad I started working there, don't know what he was doing before last month."
"Oh. I was under the impression that you were working your way through school, but you just started? Did you have another job before then?"
Lovi sighed. "Not really. I was mixed up in some bad stuff. I hardly go to school at all these days actually. I started working to help straighten up my life, you know?"
"Ah, si..." Antonio said with a hint of realization and understanding.
"But, I was always good at school. So I'm sure if I went ba- HEY! Why are you still following me bastard!? Were almost at my job!"
"Lovi, you just noticed?" Antonio chuckled, "I said I would walk you~"
"To the damn lobby you bastard! Who said you could come to work with me!? Go home or where ever right now!"
"Awe~ But we're almost there!"
"NO WAY!"
"You're so cute!"
