Sorry I haven't updated in like... a century! I hope you enjoy! There'll probably be one last chapter after this one, so...yea! =]
Snape jerked awake.
Where the hell was he? And why did he dream about the Department of Mysteries? He would have to interrogate Potter about that; it had been one of the memories he had intruded during Occlumency, so that must mean Potter dwells on that subject a lot...
He took in the red draping of the Gryffindor four poster bed, and let the events of yesterday sink in: he was stuck in Potter's body; a nightmare come true.
He was also aware that Potter had terrible eyesight. Without his glasses, all he could see was a red and white and gold blur. He irritably shoved the glasses on his face and got out of bed to find Dean and Neville already awake.
"Heya Harry! Why are you up so early? You normally wake up much later... later than Ron, sometimes..." Neville trailed off, obviously in deep thought, if that was possible, thought Snape.
"Good morning, Lon- Neville," Snape managed, and before he made his escape from the nasty little Gryffindors through the portrait hole, Ron found him.
"Wait up!" he said, half skipping to fit his shoe in properly, "Don't go without me!"
And after meeting Hermione, the three of them went down to the Great Hall.
…
Harry was awake for a few minutes, but he didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that his nightmare was reality.
He and Snape had switched bodies.
Huh. That sounded almost comical, if he thought about it, but no, it was actually anything but comical. The possibility of Snape, of all people, discovering all of Harry's deepest secrets, purposely making a fool of him, was sickening. Yet, he thought, Snape probably felt the same way. But who would be the likely winner, an accomplished Potions professor or an average fifteen year old?
Harry sighed. Snape was probably making him look like an irritable git right now, but that didn't mean Harry should do the same (although it wouldn't make a difference). Besides, he had more pressing matters to freak out on, such as what he was going to do about all the Potions classes he was going to have to teach? He supposed that he could get away with assigning a random potion from the back of the book to each class and then unfairly deducting points from everyone except the Slytherins, but what about when he ran into Snape in Harry's body? Ew... that was just weird...
As Harry was just about to leave Snape's room, he noticed the pictures of his mother again. He still didn't really know how significant the connection between the two of them might have been; he assumed they might have been acquaintances or even friends during their Hogwarts years, but were they really so close that Snape would have pictures of her and not even his own family?
Just as he was in the midst of all this pondering, he heard the voice of one of the people he hated the most in the whole of Hogwarts,
"Good morning, Severus, how are you today?" Dolores Umbridge's voice loomed over the hallway, but it wasn't coated with that disgusting tone that suggested that she was talking to a five year old; actually it sounded quite the opposite... almost like she was trying to sound... cute.
Ok. Now Harry was seriously disturbed. He preferred Voldemort over this, any day. This was just plain icky. But how could he shake her off? Just the thought of Umbridge fancying anyone made him feel sick, not to mention extremely sorry for the person being fancied. Even if it was Snape. Because no one deserved this. Torture, it was.
"Oh... good morning... uh, sorry... running late for a... an appointment! I'll speak with you later!" he muttered quickly, running past her to the nearest shortcut, thinking to himself that he needed to stop sounding like the fifteen year old boy he was, because Snape would never say something like that, especially in the tone he just spoke in; it was too Harry-like.
…
Snape was silently eating breakfast with the Gryffindors, but instead of listening to the conversation, he was thinking about the situation he'd landed himself in.
Had this had something to do with the Occlumency lesson they had? Instead of breaking into Harry's mind, had he broken into his body? That sounded absurd; maybe this was a prank, there actually did exist a potion that could switch bodies...
And then he noticed it.
What was that mark on his right hand? Were those... were those words? He looked at it more closely at it, and then realized, his face slightly paling, the untidy scrawl that was unmistakably Potter's was etched in painfully:
I must not tell lies.
That fiend. That damn Umbridge was using a blood quill on him, he was sure of it. No professor in their right mind would ever do something like this. It wasn't even legal, for that matter, and Umbridge worked for the Ministry!
He was still fuming about this mistreatment (he felt sorry for him, even if it was Potter) when he felt a light tap on his back.
"Hey, Harry," Cho Chang said brightly, before kissing him briefly on the lips.
"Uh... hey Cho," Snape said back, feeling awkward that a sixteen year old just kissed him, and also excited that he could ruin Potter's social activity with his girlfriend; besides, he was probably doing the same thing, taking advantage of being in an enemy's body. But then, with extreme reluctance, he decided that the latter would be too cruel, not to mention unconvincing on his part; he didn't want to do something unbelievable so that people would get suspicious as to whether he was Potter or not...
"What's up?" he found himself saying; he hadn't the first clue on girls' feelings.
"Oh, nothing really... just wanted to see how you've been, since we've both been really busy the past few days. Oh yeah! And when is the next D.A. Meeting again?"
"The what?" Snape asked, confused.
"The... the D.A., Harry... don't you remember? We were just talking about it yesterday... and you're the one who founded it in the first place... Are- are you feeling well?" Cho glanced at Snape uncertainly.
"I... yeah... I just forgot, can you remind me?" he said cautiously, and thankfully, Cho believed his excuse; she whispered everything in his ear.
Snape almost yelled out then and there. So this is what Potter did in his free time? He knew that boy was up to no good! What if Umbridge somehow found out about this? Not only will Potter be in trouble, everyone on that list will! He had to talk to him about this after Potions (which was conveniently first period that day).
After they finished breakfast, Snape, Ron, and Hermione made their way to the Potions dungeon, Snape dreading what Harry's impersonation of the real Snape would be.
His stomach churned when he found Harry sitting in his desk, facedown.
