A/N: I return to offer yet another Phantom of the Opera piece for my beloved readers. While the first chapter held roots in the movie version, the rest of this story will most likely focus on the musical adaptation as well as some slight creative license on my part.
I want to offer a big thanks to my readers in encouraging me to continue this story. My gratitude is especially extended to BLCNguyen, whose review on Chapter 1 brought a bright light to my day. Thank you all for your reviews, and here is chapter 2 for your reading pleasure. Again, please leave a little review when you're done.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or events associated with The Phantom of the Opera. Everything belongs to their respective owners. I own only my motivation for this little story, nothing more and nothing less.
My last glimpse of Erik was his eyes, bright and dark all at once with emotions ranging from confusion to beatific understanding, from distrust and doubt to elation and the teasing fragments of hope that still lingered within his heart. How it amazed me to think I could bring even the tiniest taste of happiness back to his heart after I had destroyed it so thoroughly. Yet even still, I could not help but fear he might revert to his despair and self-inflicted anguish...it seemed much easier for him to accept even when the truth was hardly so bleak as he would believe.
As his mismatched eyes met mine for what had seemed a blissful eternity, I sought my voice for even the softest words to grace his ears before they were to be consumed once again by silence. But I found nothing to offer him, and in the passing moment it took me to blink, he was gone and I was alone once again.
I purposefully lost track of time while I stood in my dressing room with Madame Giry and the seamstress, the latter busying herself with the final alterations needed for my costume while the former stood silently in the corner and kept her gaze on my face. I could practically feel her drawing away every poorly construed facade I had to offer and leaving only the mess of emotions to be seen. Perhaps with her all-knowing gaze, she could see the raw desperation I harbored to be rid of all others' company, flee down to the catacombs and force my way into Erik's arms. I could only pray she did not see my darker desires and know that I was fully prepared to use Erik's passionate hunger for me against him in the event that he refused to touch me. The true sinner I must be to so willingly and eagerly consider such actions.
But they held such a terribly inviting appeal...
"Here you are, mam'selle," the seamstress, whose name had passed through my ears without leaving much of an impression, "Everything should be perfect for tomorrow night. And if I may say, you look...lovely! Yes, just lovely!"
I barely restrained a scoff at her half-hearted attempt to sound enthusiastic about the dress she'd been hemming. Even considering the less-than-reputable outfits I had previously donned as a dancer, the ones for this production was quite well and beyond anything I had ever worn in my life. The cast and crew alike had been making commentaries on the scandalous array of costumes necessary to meet Erik's rigid instructions, but I suppose Aminta's attire was the most disgraceful of all. And as I took careful stock of myself in the full-length mirror, turning slowly in place so as not to miss a single glimpse of my reflection, I could understand the seamstress' disconcerted regard for the dress. It was quite unlike anything she had ever fashioned for me before.
And I loved it.
"That will do," Madame Giry's voice startled me a bit; she hadn't uttered a word since she'd joined the other in my dressing room and taken up temporary residence in the corner. "Leave us now...Miss Daaé needs her rest for tomorrow evening."
A sharp rap of her cane followed her words, and her commands were followed just as rapidly and silently as we ballerinas had done. This was one woman you did not question no matter how great you considered the indignity of her instructions.
Madame set her hand upon my shoulder, and even when I desired nothing more than to be alone I savored her touch. It was like that of a mother...and that was something of which I held little memory. Over the long years since my father's death I had grown quite familiar with this touch, yet still it always managed to hold a novel sensation for me no matter how often it was received. I doubted I would ever tire of it...just as sure as I was Erik's touch to be one with which I could never grow tired.
"You have had a long day, my dear." she murmured while casually tucking a few loose curls over my shoulder. "I think it best you retire to the dormitories for the night. You are in no condition to be journeying elsewhere tonight."
She was right about that, to say the least. I was quite tired from today's events, but even so I wondered how much sleep I would actually receive tonight with my thoughts so completely occupied with other matters. Perhaps sleeping in the old dormitories and not in my supposed fiancee's manor might bring me some peace of mind, knowing I would still be in the opera house and ever the closer to Erik's presence.
Madame walked me down the hallways, her boots echoing about the abandoned corridors and reminding me that few people lingered about the opera house in the evening hours when the infamous phantom could be lurking around every corner. And yet I was most assuredly not one of these, for the very thought of Erik being down below in his solitude brought an ache to my heart even when I had shared his company only hours ago. What I would give to glimpse the pristine white of his mask in the darkness and know my angel was still keeping watch over me. But it was a fool's wish, and I was ever more the fool to keep lifting my eyes to the rafters in search of him.
Thoughts of fallen angels lingering above were suddenly taken by a familiar voice emitting from the adjacent hallway...Raoul? Yes, it was him...and with him were the voices of our managers. What on earth were they doing here at this hour?
Granted, it was not terribly late, but even so...what business could they possibly have at this time with the new production only a span of hours away from premiering? More importantly, what business matter was so private that it had to be conducted in the secrecy of an abandoned corridor?
A terrible thought struck me, and with it my blood ran cold through my veins. I nearly trembled in place, and Madame must have noticed, for she set her palm upon my cheek and brow before stepping forward to examine me with her piercing yet motherly gaze. "Christine? Child, what is it?"
I gave no answer but instead hurried closer to the corridor, pressing my ear to the wall's corner in order to listen better without yet giving away my presence. I happened to catch the last remnants of something Monsieur Firmin was saying that included the words "we're listening" and "go on", which was simultaneously added by Monsieur André.
"If he wishes to play this game, then we shall play it on such terms." Raoul said calmly—too calmly, "We will continue with the production just as he's commanded. But remember, gentlemen," he added before the anticipated protests could be heard from either man, "we hold the ace. The winning card for this game is in our hands, not his."
"And just what is that?" Monsieur Firmin scoffed, sounding as though he saw nothing but nonsense in Raoul's words.
"If Miss Daaé sings," Raoul continued, "you can be sure our clever friend will attend. And when he does, we will be waiting for him...along with no less than a dozen armed gendarme to aid us in this endeavor."
My heart caught tight in my throat and momentarily prevented me from drawing in breath, but engaging in something as utterly trivial as breathing seemed ludicrous when my mind was better suited to fully comprehend just what I was hearing. God, this could not be...please let some higher power say it was not so! Raoul was most assuredly bitter over the earlier affair in the cemetery, but surely he would not resort to murder!
My heart overrode what little illusions my mind still carried for Raoul's innocence in the matter. It was his blade that had nearly pierced Erik's heart today...and mine as well, even if by default. I would have liked to keep my childhood friend as pure and pristine as others imagined him to be, try and convince myself that he had only been driven to such action for my sake. But I could not entirely rule out the possibility that there was something deeper to this whole affair.
"...how can you be certain that Miss Daaé will in fact perform?" André inquired, sounding quite anxious about the entire matter. "I can't say I would half blame her if she chose to forgo her role entirely."
"Christine will sing if I ask it of her." Raoul replied will full confidence, "Rest assured, gentlemen...she will not refuse me."
My blood sparked alive within my veins, rushing hot and fast from my heart to my brain and leaving me slightly disoriented in the sudden wake of my temper. I would not refuse him? How arrogant could he possibly be? Did he honestly think after our cemetery encounter that I was incapable of denying him any request? I'd refused him not once but twice today! He had been driven to physically pry me away from Erik because I had refused him, and he had the gall to presume I would sing if he asked it of me?
How dare he...? Erik was the only man for whom I was incapable of denying even the smallest request, perhaps to a fault in some regards. Yet all the same, I had never regretted complying with any request from Erik, which may have stemmed from the simple fact that Erik rarely asked anything of me, save for companionship and the simple pleasure of my company. Small and meager demands when I knew his desires amounted to much more. The thought alone of what he could ask but never did humbled me all the more.
My hands shook as I tried to occupy them and smooth untamed curls back from my face and neck while drawing in silent breaths in a futile attempt to calm my fury. Madame had not left my side this entire time, and when I turned to find her eyes set upon my face, her understanding radiated from her gaze alone. Never before had I considered it so, but perhaps she was the only person who could possibly understand a fraction of what I was thinking and feeling in this moment. She might not comprehend the magnitude of my feelings for Erik, but somehow I knew she would not judge me for them. And I knew she would not question or frown upon any actions that resulted from those feelings.
"I cannot allow this." I breathed, more to myself than her, but for some strange reason I was glad to have her ears bear witness to my words. It made them feel all the more tangible and not from some fantasy I had contrived with the image of myself as a strong and determined woman, not the meek little princess I had been in recent months. "I cannot lose him again...not like this."
Perhaps I was imagining things, but I would happily swear I witnessed a gleam of relief—or at least approval—within her dark eyes before she calmly nodded. "Then go, child." she replied quietly, "Only remember that your words mean little without the conviction of actions behind them."
I knew she was right...my words had been the very tool of betrayal with which I had shattered Erik's every hope and dream, and yet I would have liked to think that in those precious moments I had spent in his company, words had meant more than just an empty set of promises. And they had not been without conviction, for my kiss should have affirmed each and every word...even if he was not yet ready to believe it.
I waited patiently until the managers had shuffled down the darkened corridor, and then I stepped around the corner to face the Vicomte. This was was somewhat better lit, though not by much. Even so, it was only Raoul who needed a long moment to properly discern who it was in dim and flickering light. My eyes were steadily growing accustomed to darkness, and while my skills paled in comparison to Erik's, I was not nearly as blind in the absence of light as Raoul. While it took me only a moment to properly discern every feature of my fiancee, from his pristine suit to combed hair, his eyes required much longer to recognize me. Yet the moment he did...it was as though roles were immediately set back into place, with him cast as the adoring lover into whose arms I was supposed to fall.
"Christine!" he strode forward with arms already extending to me and perfect smile set in place, "There you are. I've been looking all over for you!"
No doubt of that. I bit my tongue quietly and sidestepped his intended embrace to fix him with a look. "Were you?"
"Yes," he nodded, settling for my hand if he could not have the rest of me in his hold, "I wanted to see if you were free of that monster's spell. Thank goodness it has passed!"
I blinked, momentarily confused and wondering if he was actually joking. The relief apparent on his face told me he was not playing a game but in fact believed every word he was saying. I almost pitied him for holding true to such an delusion. "Spell? I was under no spell, Raoul...what on earth are you talking about?"
"You must have been." he replied firmly, taking hold of my shoulders to try and look into my eyes as though he could understand even a fraction of the emotions churning within my heart. "He must have put some kind of spell upon you...there is nothing else that can explain your actions today!"
I firmly shrugged my way free of his hold, looking at him incredulously. "Are you listening to yourself?" I demanded, "Erik is not a magician or sorcerer! He's a human being, Raoul—the same as you and I!"
Raoul scoffed openly, "The same as you and I..." he repeated with disgust lacing his every word, "How naïve can you possibly be to believe such things, Christine? He is not a man but an abomination! A disgrace to mankind as a whole and a plague upon this opera house—especially upon you!"
"He is a man," I replied through tightly clenched teeth with hands curling into fists, "He is not a monstrosity or a curse, and I will not stand here and have you condemn him as such. More importantly," I cut him off before he could try and refute my words again, "I will most assuredly not be told what to do as though I am a pet!"
I watched his face carefully and was pleased to see my words earned precisely the surprised reaction for which I was hoping. "You think you can simply ask it of me and I won't dare refuse you? I am not your obedient servant or some hopelessly devoted admirer, Raoul! I am entitled to my own desires without any influence from one party or another, and whether I choose to sing or not is my decision—mine and mine alone!"
"But you are going to sing." he insisted, and I felt a hot twinge of irritation to know that was the only thing he'd managed to comprehend from my words. Did his ears only hear that which he wanted to hear and nothing else that didn't fit in with the tight mold of his beliefs and wishes? "You will sing because I have asked it of you—or at least, I was going to ask it of you!" his hand clasped mine tightly in what I suppose could have been a tender and loving embrace, save that it made me tremble with increasing rage toward his arrogance. "You must sing, my darling...for all our sakes."
"Indeed..." my voice felt tight and uncomfortable in my throat as I attempted to keep my temper in check. I didn't want to so easily give him the satisfaction of grating my nerves beyond repair, "I must sing and lure the monster into the trap that awaits him, right? Play the bait so you and your armed guards can shoot him down like a dog."
"Don't look at me like that, darling." He tried to pull me close again and once more found me unresponsive at best. "Surely you understand this is for us? I'm doing what is necessary to keep you safe and ensure we will have a future together without that madman hunting us down for all eternity."
I tasted the tiniest drop of pity for Raoul, seeing the earnest plea in his eyes. Of course he really believed what he was doing to be right...justified by the simple desire to keep his beloved safe. I didn't want to begrudge him that when his intentions were, in their own right, for my sake. But even so...I could not forgive him for this. Erik may have sins on his hands the likes of which I could not begin to fathom, but his reasons were completely different. His were borne from a base need to survive, and so far as I could see, Raoul's were solely to ensure I would be his wife and not remain at Erik's side. A Vicomte does not lose, especially not to a disfigured murderer.
More was the pity that Raoul had already lost his prize, and he was only a fool to believe otherwise.
"I will sing." I nodded without hesitation, keeping my eyes steady and calm upon his face. "I will sing because my place is on that stage singing that duet as it was written for me. And I am meant to sing it with my partner...with Erik."
Raoul's relief and pride vanished in the moment it took me to draw breath. "You will sing because it is the only way to trap that monster." he whispered, clearly trying to keep his temper in check. I had no fear of his anger even as I continued to test it further. I stood in the face of Erik's rage on a frequent basis and never faltered. Raoul's would be no more intimidating than the temper tantrum of a child.
"Why?" I whispered, "So you can give the order to kill him in front of a full audience of innocent people?" I didn't have a desire to grant him the chance to answer, so I simply shook my head and continued on before his words could take life. I had no desire to hear them. "And you dare to call Erik the murdering monster?"
"He is!" Raoul again grabbed my shoulders, and I wished Erik would come down from the rafters to my rescue, if for no other reason that I wanted my angel to prove he would always be there keeping watch over me. "How can you stand there and defend him while condemning me? I'm doing this to save your life!"
Perhaps a few months ago, I would have believed it—no, I had believed it. I believed his every word and in doing so had allowed my mind to turn against my teacher. Had I ever considered Erik a monster, a demon, or any other such abomination before Raoul's words had met my willing ears? Of course I hadn't...God, the fool, the fool I was!
"No, you're not." I said firmly, meeting his angry gaze with resolve and determination. "You're doing this because you can't stand the idea of losing to Erik. You think a bullet will declare you the victor and you can happily proclaim triumph over the Opera Ghost...even when you know this battle has already been lost. You saw it with your own eyes today, Raoul. You saw it, but you cannot accept it as truth. It must be the work of an evil magician, for how else can the pretty princess choose a disfigured man over a perfect one?"
"You don't know what you're saying." he shook his head furiously, trying to drag me closer and bringing my feet firmly in place on solid ground. "He has bewitched you, Christine...you must open your eyes and see what he's done to you before it's too late!"
What he had done to me? Indeed...what had Erik done to me? My eyes had already been opened, my sight returned to me within the darkness of an underground corridor as I sang with a fallen angel. Even now, my heart savored the memory of our duet and eagerly yearned for a repeat performance...but this time not one buried away from the public's eye. We had to sing together on stage tomorrow night...we just had to! I would not accept his refusal any longer!
"My eyes see more than you can possibly hope to see, Raoul." I said softly, ripping myself from his hold. "You see only what is skin-deep. But I...I see the beauty underneath it all. It is that beauty that I love with all my heart, and I pray you can accept my words before you allow your heart to be broken any further. I am truly sorry that I could not return what you have given me, but that is the truth. Accept it for your sake...before you get hurt."
I did not allow him to respond, for I knew any further argument would only aggravate my temper and perhaps inspire some cruel words which I did not have the strength to apologize for. Before he could try and stop me, I had fled into the shadows with all the grace and skill I had learned from my teacher.
I felt strangely at ease here in the darkness, finding myself somehow repelled by even the dimmest light. Though perhaps it was more likely that my discomfort stemmed from the particular company in which I had previously been, and not the fact that I had been exposed to light. I may have grown to appreciate the darkness more than before, but I could still enjoy the warmth of a summer's day and the gleam of moonlight upon my skin.
Was I going to have to give that all up? I couldn't say I was ready to do so, but I also knew enough to say I wanted to live my life with Erik no matter the associated consequences. Even entertaining the thought of a blade or bullet piercing his chest and abruptly ending his life wrought an inexplicable agony within the depths of my heart, nearly crippling me with a grief that did not need to be experienced when such things were only of a tortured imagination and not reality. Yet still it remained; my argument with Raoul had dulled it only for a short time, and knowing he still believed me under Erik's spell and would thus proceed with his plan of execution made me tremble with fear.
A ridiculous yet desperate need fueled my hurried stride back to my dressing room, locking the door with shaking fingers before turning to face my mirror—a doorway in and of itself to another world just beneath this one. Fear momentarily stilled my pace forward, wondering if I could be strong enough to venture down into the catacombs and seek out my angel. I had never before entered his home without permission, and I certainly hadn't made the journey myself without his guidance. The catacombs were a winding labyrinth, a trap in their own right that could easily claim me as a victim. And Erik might not be there to save me if I were to lose myself in the darkness.
I steeled my heart. A meek and cowardly child was not a desirable role for me to assume now. In fact...I had no desire to take on any role. I neither needed nor wanted to put a mask on my desires when they had been stirring within my veins ever since Erik's voice joined with mine in the cemetery. Hearing the perfection of our duet lifted my heart and soul to the highest heavens and brought my ears to hear music as I had never heard before. I honestly believed my heart would wither and fade to nothing if I was never to hear that blessed harmony again.
My hand set upon the cool glass, and with a careful breath I drew back the hidden latch and stepped into the dark corridor. The mirror slipped back into place under my direction, just in case any were to come searching for me and happen to overcome the boundary of a locked door. I was only thankful that no other could find the mirror's secret latch save myself, and a smile tugged at my lips with the memory of how hard I had plead with Erik to show me his little secret before he finally consented.
The mirror allowed a little light to stream down the hall, but it was fleeting and short-lived. The path before me was dark and potentially treacherous, and this time there was no hand reaching out to guide my way through the shadows. I was alone.
As I slowly began to make my way down into the darkness, I offered a silent vow that when I next returned to this world...I would never be alone again.
