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Warning for

- Mpreg

- Implied Drug Use

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Chapter Two – Burnt Lungs, Sour Taste

Dean lay awake for hours, his mind buzzing with a restlessness he knew had nothing to do with the coffee he'd had before he went to bed.

Castiel was his mate? How was that even possible? What were the chances he'd find him, in a soup kitchen of all places?

The poor guy had been through fuck knows what, and then he'd had the luck to be stuck with Dean as his mate. Life wasn't fair, it seemed. He wondered if Castiel had noticed, or even cared. He knew that drugs could fuck up the system something fierce; it had taken weeks for all of Sam's senses to fully return to him.

Dean groaned, he had a decision to make, and he had no idea what the hell to do. If Castiel didn't know they were mates…

He threw the covers off himself and crept slowly to his door. He grimaced when it squeaked, but slid through when it was wide enough. He didn't want to wake Castiel up, especially while creeping around the house. He padded past the couch, glancing quickly at the Omegas sleeping form. At least, he thought he was sleeping. Fair enough if he wasn't, letting his guard down in a strange place couldn't have been easy.

He made it to Sam's room with only one bruise, thanks to the damn table in the hall.

"Sam." Dean whispered to his brother, but the great lump remained unconscious, oblivious to Deans midnight crisis.

Well that just wasn't good enough.

"Dude," Dean threw himself down onto Sam's bed, "Wake the hell up." Sam grunted himself awake, blinking slowly at his brother.

"Whaaa?" Sam rubbed his hand over his face and through his hair. It stuck up everywhere, but he refused to cut it. Dean had a suspicion that Gadreel had something to do with that. "What the hell, man."

"Sammy, you're good at people, and like, feelings and shit," Dean worried his lip and tried his best puppy eyes on his brother, "I need your help." Sam, having gathered together enough of his wits to realise Dean had an actual, real life problem, since he was asking about it at, one in the morning, focused on his brother.

"Yeah, man, sure, what is it?" Dean sighed before delving into the mess that was his emotional state.

"So, it's about Castiel." Dean was so glad his brother just nodded, he didn't want to answer any questions, he just wanted to get it all out. "I um, shit, I think he's my mate and I have no fucking clue what to do." Sam's eyes widened as he absorbed the information Dean had just word vomited all over him, because he had said it all in quite a rush.

"Oh, wow. That's – that's…" Just the fact that Sam didn't know what to say put Dean even more on edge. He fiddled with the bed spread, unsure of what to do with his hands, because if he stopped moving, they'd start shaking and he was the strong one goddamnit!

"Yeah, I know, ok?" He had more feelings than he knew how to process running through him, and all they were morphing into was blind panic. "I can – I can deal with most shit, Sammy, you know that, but this… it's different, you know?" Sam nodded, yeah, he knew.

"I know its scary Dean, but you're lucky, in a way." Dean just raised his eye brows and tried not to glare. "No, hear me out. Most people never find their biological mate. They find someone they like and settle down, but its – it's not like having an actual mate." Sam sighed slightly, and Dean almost gagged, because he just knew his giant sap of a brother was thinking about Gadreel.

"That's not the problem Sam, and you know it." Dean almost growled, but since they were both Alphas, it would only piss Sam off.

"Dean, if you think for a second that you don't deserve this, or some stupid shit like that, I'm gonna – " Sam actually did growl then, and if Dean had hackles, they would be raised. Sam knew Dean didn't like talking about it.

"It was my fault Sam –" It really hurt when Sam punched him in the shoulder, but he swallowed his yelp of pain. He wasn't going to show weakness, he was the older brother; it was his job to be strong.

"No, fuck no, Dean. Don't do that. We've had this conversation time and again, and I'm sick of it and your martyr complex." Sam sat back on his pillows, folded his arms and glared at his brother. "You deserve to be happy, no matter what you think." Dean shook his head but nodded, some of Sam's words creeping in to chip away at the wall around Dean's heart. Goddamnit he was dramatic sometimes.

"You should be a lawyer, or something, Sam." Dean leaned forwards and ruffled his brother's hair, grinning at him. Sam always had that effect on him, could make him see the logic out of the chaos.

"Thanks, anyway, I think the real question is, are you gonna tell him?" Sam knew from experience about drugs fucking shit up, so it wasn't hard for him to have put two and two together. Dean just shrugged. It was the golden question, after all.

"I – I don't think so, not yet, anyway. Poor guys got enough on his plate without me coming along and dumping that bombshell on him. He probably wouldn't believe me anyway, not until he gets his senses back." Dean just hoped they had enough time to get to know each other before that happened, or, shit, that he actually wanted to stay.

No way in hell was he letting his mate wander the streets alone. Not that he'd like, forbid him to or anything, he wasn't some knothead douchdick that made their Omegas stay home, tethered to the house and kids.

"I'm gonna – I'm gonna ask him to stay with us, if that's all good with you?" Dean knew Sam would say yes, but he needed the confirmation.

"If you didn't, I'd tell him stay myself." Sam smiled smugly at Dean, and then produced to push him off the bed. "I'll be out tomorrow morning, so ask him then." Sam tugged the blankets over his head and rolled over, so Dean took that as his cue to leave.

"Thanks, Sam." Dean said quietly, still not wanting to wake Castiel. The conversation in the morning was going to be interesting, to say the least.

"No problem, jerk." Yeah, his brother was still a big kid, no matter the life changing advice he gave out almost daily.

"Whatever, Bitch."


Dean obviously hadn't seen that he was awake, or he wouldn't have taken such care walking past the couch. Castiel peeked out from beneath the blankets, keeping his eyes on the Alpha until he was once again back in his bedroom. He hitched the blankets higher, cold despite the central heating running through the apartment. He assumed it was the drugs running out of his system.

He wasn't exactly sure what they had been giving him during his time with them, but he was sure it had done something unpleasant to his system. He still couldn't work out even basic smells, and the only way he knew Dean and Sam were Alphas was how they held themselves. Even then he could have been mistaken. Jody had just been a lucky guess.

He shuffled his head slightly, trying to get a more comfortable position since his head wound kept him from sleeping on one side. He had found some antiseptic in the bathroom, and dabbed it on lightly, wincing slightly at the pain. It was nothing he couldn't handle; of course, he was all too used to pain.

Castiel wondered idly, what Dean had needed his brother for at such a time of night. It could have been a family emergency, or it could, more likely, have been about the random homeless stranger sleeping on their couch. Perhaps Dean was having second thoughts about allowing Castiel into his home, which wouldn't be that surprising.

Dean had not asked for or demanded anything so far, which was surprising. He even seemed… nice, which was strange in itself. In his experience, Alphas weren't nice and if they were, it was only on the surface. When they seemed pleasant, it was usually because they wanted something, or it was part of a game.

If Dean didn't want anything, well, he didn't know exactly how to handle that.

Morning came with Castiel having had very little sleep, and Dean looking much the same. Sam had some breakfast quickly, then disappeared out the door, claiming to have appointments and such. It didn't take long for Castiel to realise that he and Dean would be alone all morning. It was going to happen sooner or later, and he would rather get it over and done with quickly anyway.

He ate the breakfast offered to him by Dean quietly, because that was what Alphas liked, even if he didn't like doing it. He liked expressing himself, but he hadn't for a long time. It was surprising that part of him had even survived all those years.

When he was finished breakfast, he cleared their plates away despite Dean's complaints. If he was going to be staying a few days, the least he could do was clean up a bit. After he had rinsed the dishes, he walked back over to the couch and folded his bedding. He placed it neatly at one end of the couch, and then realised Dean had followed him. He didn't really want to sleep where he was going to be taken, but if that was what the Alpha wanted… he'd rather not have the beating that would result if he questioned him.

"How do you want me, Alpha?" Castiel asked, making himself sick with the pathetic way he looked up into Deans widened eyes. He hated the ones that were too nervous to take what they wanted; it just meant he had to do more work. He held himself back, barely, from rolling his eyes when Dean didn't move, and turned to position himself over the arm of the couch, his ass facing Dean. He would let the Alpha remove his clothing, most of them liked doing that.

What he wasn't expecting, was the confused noise from behind him, and Dean sliding a careful hand around his arm to turn him to face the Alpha.

"Cas…what?" Dean looked genuinely confused, which threw Castiel. If Dean didn't want it then… what did he want? They all wanted something.

"I was presenting myself for your enjoyment, Alpha." He swallowed down the pinch of resentment he felt, but strangely it wasn't towards Dean. No, it was towards himself and his biology, his deep seated need to please, what he had been taught.

Dean however, looked absolutely horrified.

"Dude, what the hell? No! I – fuck. Just please, sit down." Castiel blinked at Dean, confusion overcoming everything else. Dean was turning him around again and backing him up until the backs of his legs hit the couch. He allowed himself to be sat, while Dean sat opposite him in a single seater, watching him with a pained expression. "I don't – I don't know why you did that, Cas, but I just want to lay it out there," Dean ran a hand through his hair and fixed Castiel with a serious look. "I don't want that from you, alright? I don't want anything from you. I just – I just want to help you."

"Why… why would you do that, Dean?" If the Alpha didn't want anything from him, why on earth would he help him? Castiel had nothing to offer except his body. It was… it was all he was good for. No, he had other qualities, he had to remember, he had to remember.

"Because… you remind me of my brother." Dean's face crumpled then, an overwhelming sadness covering his features. "He – he went through some shit and he wouldn't be here without the help and support he got." Dean sniffed, and Castiel realised he was holding back tears. "I don't know what you've been through, and I don't expect you to tell me, but – shit, I am no good at all this feelings crap."

"You seem to be doing alright, Dean." Castiel's hand flew to his mouth, the unexpected compliment slipping from his mouth. He hadn't meant to say it, but Dean was… he was different. He was also attempting to, for some reason, help Castiel. Dean smiled.

"I want to help you, Cas. If – if you want my help." Dean looked so hopeful; it pulled at something long dormant in Castiel. He wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but he wasn't afraid of it. He considered his options, not that he had many. He could leave, and try his luck on his own. He didn't have any money, no home or a job, so that didn't seem like a good option. The world wasn't a safe place for unmated, lone Omegas.

He knew that, better than anyone.

The only other option he saw was accepting Deans help, because he did want to ride out whatever drugs were in his system, and Dean's house seemed like the safest place to do that. If Dean wanted something from him… it wouldn't be so bad. The Alpha seemed nice enough, not violent or psychotic. He was attractive enough as well, which helped somewhat.

He came to a decision, and hoped he wouldn't come to regret it.

"Alright, Alpha. I – I accept your help." Dean looked pained again, and Castiel couldn't for the life of him figure out what he had done wrong.

"Ok, good. That's good. Uh, don't – don't call me that, ok?" Castiel cocked his head to the side, and narrowed his eyes. He didn't know what Dean meant, call him what? "Please call me Dean, not Alpha." Dean spat the word out like poison, and Castiel raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had never met an Alpha that despised their title so much. He kept the information to himself, hidden away to think over later.

"I am sorry, Alp – Dean. I won't make that mistake again." He bowed his head to show submission, but flinched when Dean cupped his chin and brought their eyes level.

"I'm sorry to be barking orders at you, Cas, but you don't have to do that, either." Dean smiled sadly at him, almost as if thinking about what had happened to him to make him so pathetic. Dean didn't know, and a blast of acidic rage almost overwhelmed him in its intensity. No one knew what he had been through, no one could even imagine the horrors he had experienced.

It would take a long time for him to break that which he had been living for countless years.


It had been a surprise when Dean had told him he had booked a doctor's visit for Castiel that afternoon, and with the doctor that had treated Sam no less. He had not expected it, and he was learning to expect the unexpected from Dean. He was unlike any Alpha he had ever encountered, but Castiel was still wary as to whether that was a good thing or not.

Arriving at the clinic, Castiel found himself slightly nervous. He hadn't been to a doctor in years, not one that was certified, anyway. He still couldn't smell anything, and he had a feeling whatever drugs they had given him were still running around his system.

Dean looked over at him when he turned off the engine, and gave him a small smile.

"I'm sure everything's fine, Cas, I just wanted you to have peace of mind." Dean shrugged, "plus she can tell you whatever you're on, if you like, don't know, and can draw up a recovery plan." For some reason he felt slightly better at Dean's cavalier attitude, but he still felt like something was… off. Not with Dean, but with himself.

They made their way inside and took a seat in the waiting room, after Dean had let the receptionist know they had arrived. An older woman with longish brown hair and a motherly smile greeted them.

"Dean, nice to see you. This Castiel?" she smiled at Dean before turning her gaze towards Castiel, and he immediately felt better. He waited for Dean to answer for him, despite Deans protests about his subordinate behaviour; it was a hard habit to break. Dean looked at him when he didn't answer, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ah, yeah, this is him." The doctor just nodded, narrowing her eyes at Cas.

"Nice to meet you, hun. My names Ellen and I'm gonna be your doctor, if you'll have me." Cas looked at Dean who nodded, before following Ellen through to her office.

Once they were seated, with Ellen behind her desk, she started asking questions.

Questions Castiel didn't know half the answers too, and even if he did, he would be loath to answer them in front of Dean.

"So you have no idea what drugs, if any, you have in your system?" Ellen didn't sound judgemental, only curious and assessing. When Castiel shook his head, she noted something down in his file. "When was your last heat?" Castiel swallowed, feeling the blush creep up his neck. He knew he needn't be embarrassed, it was a natural process after all, but the fact that Dean was right there…

"Ah, I can't really remember. It must have been some time ago, I think." He honestly couldn't remember which confused him. It wasn't surprising, considering what they had probably given him.

"Considering how undernourished you are, it's hardly surprising. I'll do a blood test, just in case. It should help us find out what's in your system too." Castiel just nodded, because she was a doctor, and she knew best.

He didn't even flinch when she took the blood, and he couldn't help but notice Dean watching him with concern. He didn't know what troubled the Alpha, but it was comforting to have his presence there. Which in turn infuriated him that he needed an Alpha at all.

"We should have the tests pretty soon, but I need you to pee in this cup as well." Ellen held out a small sealed bottle for him, and he took it gingerly between two fingers. Ellen had a small bathroom just off her exam room that he was led to, and as he shut the door behind him, he grimaced. He really didn't want to pee in a cup, but it wasn't like he had any choice. He pulled down the sweats Dean had given him and tugged himself out. He then took the lid off the bottle and held it under his penis. He rolled his eyes when he gave himself stage fright, and just as he was about to shake himself, the stream let loose. He sighed, trying to aim over the bottle, but he still managed to get some on his hand. It wasn't the worst substance he had ever been covered in, but it was still unpleasant.

When he was finished, he sealed the bottle and washed his hands, thoroughly. Dean and Ellen were deep in conversation when he returned to them, but they broke off as soon as he was in view. It was none of his business, what they were talking about, so he dismissed the small shred of suspicion that spiked within him.

"Here you are." Castiel handed Ellen the bottle, and was slightly surprised to see she had gloves on. He was even more surprised when she opened a draw and pulled out a box.

"I have to be sure, especially if your blood comes back with what I think it will, and I have to put you on withdrawal drugs." Ellen opened the box and pulled out a long stick, which was fat at one end and thin at the other. She saw him looking and smiled at him sadly. "This is a pregnancy test, Castiel. You may not know, but the test will tell us for sure." Castiel just nodded dumbly as she dipped the thin end into the urine, and held it there for a few seconds. "It'll take two minutes, and trust me; they're the longest of your life." She laughed a little, but Castiel did not. He hadn't even… it hadn't even occurred to him.

"No matter what it says, Cas, it doesn't change what I said." Dean sounded firm and confident, far from what Castiel himself was feeling. Ellen looked at her watch and then back at the test.

Her frown and pursed lips told him everything he needed to know.