Chapter 2

I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts. I am glad that people are enjoying this.

This quite a slow, emotion/ conversation chapter but I promise events will start happening soon.


Kate can't believe what she has done; she swore she wouldn't let him get this close to her but here she is about to admit things she hasn't even told Lanie. Her heart is beginning to beat wildly as she thinks back to the events previously. Why had she told him about Gwen? Why was she about to do something that was probably going to make her break down?

Kate knows that she should phone her, the close bond they once shared is all but gone and Kate misses it deeply. She wants to make things better but she can't bring herself to. Gwen never fully understood why she was basically abandoned, Kate realises now that this is because no one besides herself knows.

Mentally screaming at herself Kate decides that a public place is not the place to have the conversation she now needs to have. She has to ask for Castles help. He won't hold it against her, this time, but she hates showing him that she needs him. She isn't ready for that news to come out yet.

Castle is nervous, he knows that Kate has to do this but he also knows Kate. She doesn't know how to open up to people and the closer they are to her, the harder it is for her. He wonders idly how long she is going to wrestle with herself for as he turns into the parking lot. Seconds later he feels her hand in his and he turns to face her pleading eyes. He doesn't say a word, he just powers up the car engine once more and begins heading for his home.

Her whole expression changes as she trembles slightly as a shiver spears through her, he frowns at her posture as they tackle the heavy traffic, his Kate is gone; replaced by a shadow disguised as a person. Still he doesn't speak. He knows Kate.

He began getting worried when she didn't talk in the car but now he is really worried as he sits watching her for any signs of her usual self. It isn't like when she was vulnerable earlier, there is no conflicting emotions playing across her face and she is completely still except for her slow breathing. She's been like this for half an hour now and Castle is about to get desperate when she moves.

She moans softly in a pained voice as her eyes focus upon him, clouded in pain she doesn't see him or his loft really. Just the conversation to come. He leans in close to her, calling her name quietly, his eyes pleading for her to speak, to let him help. He knows the moment she lets him in completely, her figure almost crumples into his arms and she begins to sob.

Part of her told her she shouldn't be like this, she shouldn't let him see her cry but she doesn't care anymore, she's let down the last of her walls, he's her best friend. She pulls back from Castle, nodding her thanks and pulls out her phone.

She flicks through her contacts and pulls up Gwen's but instead of dialling she sits the phone down on the table and focuses on Castle once more.

"You're my best friend, aren't you Castle?"

"If you let me, I will always try to be there for you, even when you don't want me to."

"Good because we're about to have one of those confidential best friend talks, ok?"

Castle gulps, there is no going back from here, for a long time he has waited for this moment and now it's here he has to fight back panic. He's scared that he'll not be able to help her, that he'll hurt her just like she is scared he will.

"Well, I do give out the best advice on the planet plus I have the perfect thing to go with talk, Ice cream!"

When she smiles at him he races to the kitchen like an excited little boy and within seconds he is back, a huge tub of his favourite ice cream in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Two spoons were sticking out the ice cream.

"Nice, you're pretty good at this girly thing aren't you?"

"I live with women, remember?"

She takes a deep breath and marches across the line she had drawn, within seconds of her talking Castle understands her odd attitude and begins formulating a plan to help her.

"Rick, I basically abandoned her, let her believe a lie and revealed a devastating truth just as she was mourning the family I gave her to. All while trying to be her friend and yet constantly denying her some of her childhood dreams."

She stabs her spoon into the ice cream before shoving it into her mouth, more for something to do than for the taste.

"I was a coward, wasn't I? I gave her up with the best intentions, I could barely look after myself let alone a baby girl, but then when I could did I ever go back like I had promised myself? No. I left her there to dream about a mother and father somewhere out in the world pinning for their lost daughter."

"I could have told her when Paul passed, I could have brought her to New York but I didn't. I only told her after Amy died because I felt guilty, I could feel Amy's last words racing round my head begging me to tell Gwen the truth. "

"Katie, Katie, Katie! I'm quite sure that you had reasons, let me see, you've already explained your first reason, you wanted her to have the best life possible. You associate New York with pain and death, two things you never want to be in the same sentence as Gwen's name. You may also have realised that it was time to tell the truth."

He watches her as his words sink in so he continues, sure in the knowledge that he is right.

"Kate, you are a different person from how you were before we met. You don't see New York as nothing but bad. Alexis has grown up here and she's lived quite happily. Phone Gwen; ask her to come to you. Explain how you've changed, why you did what you did. Let her know you want to see her as an equal, an adult but will forever look after her. And if that doesn't work, tell her that you're favourite author is doing an exclusive dinner for his top fans and she simple cannot miss it."

"I sent her Heat Wave, I haven't heard from her since. Oh and you're not my ultimate favourite author, she is."

"Well if she reads the book knowing that it's about you then maybe she will realise just how difficult this all is for you. Now anything else you want to get straight before you call her?"

Her heart races, she knows she's got one brilliant best friend, and hopes that the words he wrote and dedicated to her would somehow save her relationship with her family. A smile crosses her face as she imagines all the fun the pair would have but as much as she desperately wants to see Gwen again her heart almost stalls at the thought of her meeting Rick. What would happen?

Taking yet another deep breath she leans forward and hits dial on her phone, putting it on speakerphone the duo listen to the ringing for a short eternity. Kate's insides begin to knot with worry and Castle takes her into another hug. He loves this aspect of their new relationship, feeling honoured to be so close to her.

Finally the ringing stops and a voice comes over the line. The friends on the sofa freeze, the voice not what either expect, Castle recovers first and responds.

"Who are you? And why is a guy answering Guinevere's phone?"


Hey, so what do you think? i have to admit I get such a buzz from reviews so please comment. Your honesty is much appreciated so if this is crap tell me.

I'll try and get the next chapter done soon, if college lets me that is.