Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries. Obviously.
Author's Note: This chapter is inspired by two scenes from Season One – the first one is the scene where Stefan shows off his cooking skills and rattles off a carefully prepared list of what movies and music he likes. That scene always makes me gag. The other is a scene that was cut from 1x17 that's included in the Season 1 DVD. If you watch it you can see why it was cut – it's basically Stefan giving a saintly sermon to poor Harper, whose legs are held down by stakes so he can't get away. 'If I don't feel other people's pain then I don't deserve to feel anything'. Right then.
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"Mmm…. I love you Stefan," Elena cooed to her boyfriend.
"I love you too, Elena," said Stefan, gazing soulfully into her eyes.
"What should we do tonight?" she asked him.
"How about a quiet night in? We'll watch some movies, tastefully chosen to be intellectual, but not too snobby, and I will show off my awesome gourmet chef skills by cooking you dinner."
"That is so fantastic," Elena sighed. "You're so perfect, Stefan. Is there anything you don't do?"
"Not a thing, babe. You know, it's so difficult being this perfect. I'm really struggling with the burden of having everything, you know?"
"Maybe you need to brood some more," Elena offered helpfully.
Stefan nodded sagely. "Yeah, I think that's it. My forehead hasn't been getting enough exercise lately. It's starting to look almost…smooth."
"You're the best boyfriend ever," Elena sighed. "You're so hot, and smart, and sensitive and tough. How did I get so lucky?"
"Well, you're just lucky that you can overlook things that other people would be a bit prejudiced about, you know? I mean, you barely batted an eyelid when I told you I used to be a cold-blooded murderer who almost wiped out your ancestors back in the day," he told her with a smile.
"Oh, it all happened so long ago, who really cares? It's not like I'd judge you for something you did when you had your feelings switched off. I only judge Damon for things like that. He's so disgusting."
"Yeah, Damon is so totally evil. I've spent the past 146 years judging him for doing the same things I did myself, and yet I find absolutely no irony in that," Stefan said.
"Irony schmirony. You are good, Stefan. Even when you do bad things. I just love that about you."
"Really? I get so insecure sometimes, which is totally weird because it's not like I have any reason to be. Everyone always chooses me over Damon."
"Relax, baby. It's always going to be you for me. I know that for sure even though you've kept heaps of important stuff from me from the very beginning of our relationship," Elena assured him.
"I don't really like telling you things that might make you break up with me. But given that you've been so cool about my murderous past and all, I feel like I can tell you anything now and you'll just brush it off because I'm Saint Stefan and I can do no wrong."
"You're so right. I love you, Stefan," Elena said, batting her eyelashes at him.
"I love you too, Elena."
"I love you more!"
"Mmmm…..I think it's time for another 'passionate' love scene between us," said Stefan, kissing her aggressively. "We have to act like we can't keep our hands off each other even though we've been together for two years now and we do this every other night."
"I'll never understand why we didn't get nominated in the Favorite Couples Who Have category in the TV fan awards," Elena said, before sticking her tongue down Stefan's throat.
"Maybe we just need to try harder and that will somehow make us hotter," Stefan said, coming up for air.
"We're already pushing it. I mean, more sparks fly when Damon and I are just in the same room together than when you and I are having sex."
"And yet you're still with me," he said, looking hungrily at her neck and trying to control himself.
"We have a beautiful, solid love story. Too bad no one cares."
"Maybe I should sleep with Katherine or something," Stefan muttered.
