Since I got some reviews/favorites/alerts today, I'm updating again. Cookies for all of you *throws up cookies for all to catch*! I can't give milk cause Edo-chan would kill me! Oh, and Omega-san, sorry about the O/Cs at the bottom; I just thought some people might get confused, that's all.

ON TO THE STORY!


Rule 6: A cigarette break does not last 2 hours.

"Where is Jean Havoc?" Mustang questioned.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."

"You seen Havoc?"

Ruby yawned, "No, and I don't give a damn either."

"You seen Havoc?"

Alphonse shook his head, "Last I saw him was in the cafeteria, sir, but that was hours ago."

"I know you know where Havoc is."

Nolan smirked, "Nope. I don't keep tabs on him.

"C'mon, I know that you know."

Audrina looked puzzled, "He's the one who smokes all the time, right?"

Roy sighed, truding back to his office to pick up the phone from hold. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I can't seem to find-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Havoc burst through the door. "Is it Sheila from last night?"

"No," Roy smirked, "It's your mother. Where the hell have you been?"

Havoc sweatdropped, "I took my smoking break."

"A CIGERETTE BREAK DOESN'T LAST 2 HOURS, HAVOC!"


Rule 7: I may not alchemically change a superior officer's cigarettes, no matter how helpful I think I may be.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"What's the problem now, Havoc?" Riza didn't bother to look up from her papers.

Havoc pushed the thing in her face, "LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO MY CIGERETTES!"

In his hands lay a pile of candy. "Well, that's somewhat better."

"BUT IT TASTES HORRIBLE!" He whined.

"Who did this again?" Riza sighed.

"One of those little pipsqueaks in training. Foster, I think."

-Several Minutes later-

"Foster, why did you change Havoc's cigerettes into candy?" Riza questioned the young trainee.

The boy sighed, "I thought it would help; my dad died from cancer and he smoked all the time."

Havoc sighed, "IT'S NOT GOOD CANDY!"

Riza whipped out her gun, aiming at him, "SHUT UP WILL YOU!" She then turned back to the boy. "I know you're upset, but don't do it again. I'm stuck with this idiot all day and he's better with them than without them. He usually doesn't even light them."

"Okay, Miss Hawkeye, I will."

"BUT WHY MY CIGERETTES! WHY!"


Rule 8: I cannot sick my dog on Breda, just to see his reactions.

"DOG!"

A nervous Breda stood on his desk as Black Hayate barked happily at his feet. "Shoo, shoo! Go away!"

Ed looked over to him, "Breda? It's just Black Hayate."

"I HATE dogs, though!" He screamed, "Terrified, really!"

"BLACK HAYATE!"

The dog froze mid-bark, as if he'd been shot as Riza came into the picture.

"Good boy."

She handed him a treat as they walked off.

"Weird..." The two males said.


Rule 9: I may not change Roy Mustang's pants into a miniskirt.

"I AM NOT SMALLER THAN A PINT, YOU BASTARD!"

It was the usual argument with Ed and Roy.

"But, you are, chibi-san-er, Fullmetal."

But something was different.

"WAIT A MINUTE! ONLY ONE PERSON CALLS ME THAT, AND THAT'S-"

"ENVY!" The homuculus finished, shifting to his form.

Well, he thought he did.

"MY EYES!" Ed screamed.

Riza burst in the door, "What's the-OH MY GOD!"

Nolan crept in behind her, "Nice legs, Mustang."

Envy/Roy blushed furiously, in his miltary uniform and...a miniskirt. "Shut up, all of you!"

"Hey, asshole, I got your-WHAT THE HELL!" Audrina dropped the tray of food she'd brought, "I KNEW YOU WERE GAY FOR ED!"

"WHAT!" Envy/Roy and Ed snapped up. "NO I'M NOT!"

"Then why are you in a mini-skirt, sir?" Hawkeye asked.

Envy/Roy blushed. "There is a reason...that um..."

Just then the REAL Roy Mustang burst in. He saw the predicament, and only had one thing to say:

"Damn, I look HOT in a mini-skirt."


Rule 10: I may not punch an officer in the face, especially a superior.

"FullMetal, in my office."

Ed sulked into Roy's office, as if his day could get any worse.

"Now, you owe me that re-What's wrong with your face?"

A big red bruise covered the right half of Ed's face. He mumbled a reply.

"Speak up."

"I said, Nolan punched me in the face."

"Why?"

"Because I said he was an asshole-dickwad-jerkface-mcspazz-a-tron."

"Why?"

"Because he called me short."

"Is everything you do done on impulse of someone calling you S-H-O-R-T?"

"I'm not 5 years old, damnit! I CAN spell! AND I AM NOT SHORT!"


Still not my best :( But today was a pretty bad day because right after I posted the first chapter my mom called and told me my friend's mom died. She was a really cool person and I hate that she had to leave us but she was sick and now she's not in pain. Plus I've been really sick all day; my room/the office is covered in tissue paper. Anyone know how to get rid of stuffy noses? But yeah, that's about it. I'll try and update soon!