Hey, just a quick thanks to anyone who is reading, I appreciate it!
I'm going to be flicking between viewpoints on this depending on how it goes, so here is the first of Naomi's chapters. I hope you like it…and I don't own Skins.
- Naomi -
I pinched the bridge of nose between my thumb and my forefinger, squeezing my eyes shut and flaring my nostrils simultaneously. I could hear JJ snickering next to me and Cook trying to cover his laughs with a cough, pretty unsuccessfully. I let go of the bridge of my nose and glanced at Effy who was silently looking on, only the slight hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. I rolled my eyes. Obviously I am going to have to deal with this. I stuck my hand into the air, looking to the right of the audition room to make sure that Thomas had noticed the signal, and sure enough the music came to an abrupt end along with the screeching of the boy standing in front of us. I coughed, and looked up at the nervous looking gangly guy standing in the middle of the stage.
'Josh, is it?'
'Err, yeah'
'Josh…' I paused before continuing, 'That was absolutely dreadful. Seriously, that was quite possibly the worst I have heard out of all the auditions so far'
He looked down at the ground in front of him, visibly upset at what I had said, but choosing not to defend himself. I sighed and shook my head.
'The people who are telling you that you can sing, that you are talented…they are lying. They could well be trying to make a fool of you. Whoever they are, they aren't your friends.'
Cook coughed beside me, deciding that this was his cue to intervene having finally stopped laughing at Josh's dreadful rendition of Cry Me a River.
'Yeah mate, that wasn't the greatest audition. I'd probably go 'ome, and maybe work on your vocals a bit or, maybe, find something that you're good at. Something you have a more...natural…talent for.' He stopped talking and glanced at me, shrugging at the lack of reaction his words got out of the boy, who was still looking at the ground. At this point JJ decided to step in,
'Err, yeah, Josh…' Nothing. 'JOSH' JJ shouted, making the boy jump and look up at him, which is when the tears in his eyes became apparent. I swallowed, glad that I had said my piece already and wouldn't have to deal one-on-one with the waterworks. 'Josh, you are a really nice lad, and I'm sure you must have been very nervous, and you are very brave for, you know, coming down here today, but, to be honest Josh, it wasn't the best performance of that song, and that song is, you know, a song that has been pretty popular…'
I rolled my eyes at the way they were trying to sugar coat the performance we had just been forced to endure. I nudged Effy in the ribs to let her know that we should cut this short now, prompting her to pass along the nudge to JJ. He stopped talking immediately and looked down at the sheet of paper he had in front of him, before grabbing the glass in front of him and taking a swig of his mango juice.
Effy piped up 'Sorry Josh, it's four no's' She said calmly, not even bothering to critique the performance, or even ask us if it was a no we wanted to give. I smiled at this, glad that there was someone else as cutthroat as me on the judges table. With those words the teary boy nodded his head and walked out of the room via the exit door on the right of the judges table as we all watched him go. As he exited i heard Anthea yell 'CUT', prompting all of the cameras around us to grind to a halt as she came strolling towards us with a grin on her face.
'Well, that was…awful. Fantastic television though. So, that's a million auditions down, a million to go.' She said cheerily.
With this, I huffed and pushed my chair out from under me, standing up and stretching as I made my way around the judges table followed by Cook, Effy and JJ. We continued towards the fire exit on the left of the room and I shoved it open forcefully before stepping out into the alleyway it led into, where a makeshift roof had been put up to protect us from the elements as we smoked. Cook pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his grey trouser pocket and held the pack up to me to take one. I did, and he passed one to Effy before taking one out for himself and sparking it up with an expensive silver lighter that had 'Cook' engraved along the side in an italic script. I plucked it out of his fingers and lit my own, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly, enjoying the sensation after the morning we had had. Cook chuckled.
'That bad, huh?' He asked, a grin spread across his face.
'You were in there Cook, its shit. Why did Anthea even add Bristol to the audition locations?' I commented irritably, kicking at a loose pebble in the alley sending it careering away from me noisily. No-one answered me so I looked up to see Cook hugging Effy into his side, and she was just resting there, her blue eyes catching mine.
'Dunno' she answered lazily, pulling on her cigarette.
'Trying to get an accurate cross section of UK talent…at the end of the day, it is called UK Idol' JJ commented offhandedly from where he was facing the brick wall of the neighbouring building, tracing his finger along the concrete between the bricks.
I let out a tut at this reasonable explanation and thought back through the auditions we had already done today. We had sat through what felt like hundreds of auditions since 9am, and had put through 6 people, all of which probably wouldn't make it through boot camp and had been put through without a yes from me. I straightened out my grey pencil skirt and balanced my cigarette between my lips whilst I did the same to my shirt, which was a shade of blue specifically chosen to bring out my eyes, with a white collar and cuffs. I looked at how many buttons my stylist had left unfastened and furrowed my brow, considering doing one up when Effy reached over and grabbed my hand, effectively stopping me.
'It looks good the way it is, what's the point of having them if no one ever gets to see them, eh?' she said, raising one eyebrow at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief, daring me to dispute what she has just said. I let out a cough and wriggled my hand from her grip, pulling my cigarette from between my lips and narrowing my eyes at her, not saying anything. She smiled at me and i rolled my eyes, eventually smiling back at her. Cook had been fiddling with his phone during the exchange and looked up,
'The plan for tonight is dinner at the hotel, which is supposed to be the best food in the city, before heading into the town centre and hitting…' he paused as he looked back down to his phone 'Tonic. Supposed to be the coolest place in Bristol, according to my sources' he said, waggling his eyebrows, indicating that former conquests were probably pointing him in the right direction. Effy stared at him through slightly narrowed eyes from where she was still standing curled into his side and he looked down, the grin slowly dissipating from his face, and he continued 'They have a wicked VIP area, it can be totally sealed off from the crowds if we want it to be more private, for whatever reason' he leant down and kissed Effy on the lips, and she smiled into the kiss, causing me to look away so as not to intrude on their moment. 'And we're on the list, obviously.' Cook added, as I turned my head back round to look at him.
'What about getting in and out…?' I asked.
'We've got to go in through the front, it's good press for the fact auditions are under way and lets the public know the show will be starting up again soon, but we'll leave through the back, so the press don't get the shots they actually want' Effy said knowledgably, chuckling at her final comment. We had all been on the scene for long enough to know how it worked, how to play the press to our own advantages.
I nodded and looked over towards a noise I heard along the alley, and spotted a photographer trying to catch shots of us. I rolled my eyes for what felt like the billionth time that day just as Anthea stuck her head out of the fire exit.
'Ready guys? The quicker we get this done, the quicker you can go and do whatever you lot do in your downtime' she said sarcastically, knowing exactly what it was we did in our downtime.
We all, apart from JJ, took a final pull on our cigarettes and flicked them away, catching each other's eyes and smiling, knowing that tonight would be a good night. Even if we are stuck in Bristol, I thought.
We all meandered back into the audition room and took our seats behind the desk, Cook, Me, Effy then JJ, from left to right looking out, as we always sat. Our drinks had been refilled and I took a sip of my Diet Coke as Anthea walked towards us.
'So, a little status update on the day so far. You're all doing great, I'm really pleased with the footage we have, although if we could send a few people through every once in a while, that would be okay too' She chuckled. 'Although the talent here has been...lacking, somewhat, I'm sure this afternoon will pick up. Now, Naomi, you're coming out with some excellent stuff, keep it up, and Effy, your technical advice has been brilliant too…and that isn't favouritism, your vocal pointers simply have been spot on' She chuckled again and looked at her daughter with pride in her eyes. I always found it ironic that someone who spoke so few words could become such a talented vocal coach. 'Cook and JJ, good stuff, way to cushion Campbell's blows' she walked away laughing and I scowled.
Anthea was head of StonemTV, the production company behind UK Idol, and the show was one of Antheas proudest work achievements to date, with a primetime Saturday night slot and a regular audience of at least ten million in the UK. She oversaw every aspect of it personally and was involved in everything to do with the show. The audition shows were, in her eyes, the most important element. It was essential that the right acts went through to the later stages so that when it came to the live shows, and therefore the public's vote, the acts on stage made the public want to pick up the phone. This is why she had picked her panellists carefully. Effy is one of the country's best vocal coaches and has worked with the best artists from all over the world, her appointment not just an act of nepotism as the media have tried to state in the past. Cook is a talented music producer, which is where he met Effy three years ago whilst they were working together with the same guy, who is now a double platinum selling artist. Cook is also popular with the media, having provided them with thousands of column inches in his younger days due to his excessive partying, womanizing and fighting. All of which stopped when he met Effy, who effectively calmed him down and was, as Cook himself puts it, 'the best thing that ever happened to him', although this sentimental statement is usually followed by a lewd comment. JJ is a musician, and can play anything from the piano to the harp, although he states his favourite instrument as the ukulele, but just because it helped him snare his girlfriend Lara, who he has dated since forever. I am the owner of CampbellOne, the music label that the winner will sign to when they win the show and also the employer of all three of the other panellists. A record deal worth one million pounds is the much sought after prize of UK Idol, and the two previous winners from the two previous series were still currently thriving thanks to their connections with my label, with the help of me and my extensive team of employees across the globe who were among the best in the business.
I was pulled out of my own thoughts as Anthea yelled 'ACTION' and I looked up towards the door as two guys swaggered in wearing matching flat peaked hats and orange Adidas tracksuits. They can't be any older than 17, and have the wispy beginnings of moustaches growing on their upper lips. I looked across at Effy again and pursed my lips in a desperate bid to control my laughter at the ridiculous appearances of these guys, to see her pulling a similar face, her eyes betraying her slightly.
'Alright lads, names please' Cook said nonchalantly.
'I'm Flash an' dis is Loopz' one of them said in a thick London accent that I was certain was put on.
'Yeah? What are you goin' to be singing today then lads?' Cook asked incredulously, the beginning of a smirk playing on his lips.
'Dizzie Rascal'
I carried on controlling my laughter, noting that the rest of the room was biting thier lips in an attempt to do the same, and looked down at the papers in front of me, grabbing my pen and beginning to doodle in order to distract myself.
'Alright' Cook concluded, a fully-fledged smile on his face, turning to signal Thomas to start the music.
'Hang on' JJ interrupted. 'What are your actual names?' he asked curiously, looking between the boys with interest.
'Err…well' the lad who had been speaking stumbled over his words, suddenly less confident than before, and a flush hit his cheeks, as he shuffled from one foot to another, finally mumbling,
'Err, well, I'm Stuart'
He paused and looked at the orange clad boy next to him who was looking back at Flash aka Stuart with a look of horror etched on his face,
'And he is...' He stuttered again before shaking his head in some form of resignation 'this is Francis…'
And with that, everyone in the room collapsed with laughter.
