Oh fuck.
Not Snape. Oh please not Snape.
"Potter?" He says again, and I must be really drugged, because I think I hear some concern in his voice. Which is impossible.
He moves then. A few quick steps and he's at my side. I can hear him kneel down next to me and then a hand is put on my shoulder and he carefully shakes me.
"Potter? Potter can you hear me?"
Now he's really sounding worried and I think he deserves some response. A small "Hm?" is all I can manage though. He carefully rolls me onto my back pulling me up a bit, supporting my back with his left arm.
"Open your eyes boy."
I do so and my eyes slowly meet his black orbs. He actually does look concerned. Not something I expected .
"What in Merlin's name happened to..." That's when he notices the broken mirror. His eyes skip from the mirror to my hands and back to the mirror. The concern is now replaced with anger
"You foolish boy" he hisses. "What where you thinking?"
It's so embarrassing that he sees me like that, so week, so vulnerable. I push my self up and away from him, trying to get to my bed, but at the very first step my knees start to buckle and I'm falling, but suddenly there's a pair of arms around my waist pressing me back against him, supporting me. It's the most physical contact I had since my godfather's death and it feels good. Even though it's the greasy old git who's holding me. I wanna lean back against him put my hands over his and just rest for a moment and forget everything.
And because it would be so easy to do just that, I push myself away from him with all my strength and stumble across the room. In a moment flat his arms are around me again.
"And just where do you think you're going, Potter?"
"Let go, I'm tired, I wanna go to bed"
Truth is, I feel like I'm about to faint. Now that the adrenaline starts to wear off my hands hurt like hell. I really have to fight the tears that are threatening to fall. I'm not gonna give him the pleasure though of seeing me break down completely.
I once again try to push him away from me but his grip just tightens and suddenly he lifts me up into his arms.
"Have you gone mad?!" I scream "Put me down right now!!"
He doesn't look impressed at all, so I start kicking, which only makes him hold me even tighter.
"Potter stop it this instant" he hisses. "I'm going to carry you to the bathroom. I need to clean your wounds".
I still keep struggling, but just a moment later we're in the small bathroom of my room and he carefully sits me down on the closed toilet.
"This is ridicules" I say. "Just let me go to bed. I'm fine. Just leave me alone."
And then I can't help the tears from falling. My hands hurt. Snape is here and he now knows how weak and pathetic I really am. And it felt good to be pressed against him, if only for a tiny moment. Gods how I hate myself. I feel so…needy. I just wanna press my head against his chest and bawl my eyes out. Maybe I should just do that. He certainly would leave my room then. After he killed me, of course.
Right now though, he's summoning a small chair which he places in front of me. He's sitting down, holding his hand out.
"Give me your right hand, Potter" he says, his voice completely bored.
I just pull my hands against my chest turning my head away from him
"Potter" he barks and I flinch, some more tears spilling. I hear him sigh, and then in an almost gentle voice he says " Come on boy, give me your hand, I need to get the glass out and heal the wounds. Or do you want to go to the hospital wing?"
My head snaps back to meet his gaze and I'm frightened. Both from the gentleness in his voice (I mean come on SNAPE and GENTLE?) and the threat of bringing me to the hospital wing.
His face is completely expressionless. "No…not the hospital wing, please!!" I stutter.
He once again holds out his hand "Then give me your hand!" he says.
As slowly as possible I put my right hand, palm up in his outstretched hand and I can't suppress the small shudder that ripples through me at the contact of our hands.
Skin contact. It's something so ordinary for other people, but I've been avoiding it ever since my godfather's death. I hurts so much to know that he will never touch me again, never hug me, never place a kiss on my hair, that I don't want any one else to ever touch me again. If it hurts so much to loose something like that then I don't want to have it at all. And yet my hand in Snape's hand feels good. It almost feels like the warmth the blade is creating.
Snape is summoning a bowl and a cloth now and then he starts cleaning the wounds Which hurts. A lot. I just wanna scream in pain. I can hear my harsh intakes of breath and everything gets a bit blurry.
Suddenly there's a pair of hands on my face, forcing my head up until I stare into the black eyes of my professor. He's so close that I can feel his warm breath on my face when he says "Potter calm down, you're hyperventilating. I know it hurts but we're almost done. Take a deep breath. Come on boy. Yes that's it. In, out, in out."
His instructions help me to calm down slowly and he finishes cleaning me up.
"I'm gonna heal the cuts now " he says. He pulls out his wand mutters a spell and then there's a green light leaving the tip of his wand. The light runs over my hands and then the wounds are slowly closing. The pain finally stops and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank you sir" I whisper.
He looks very uncomfortable. Reaching inside his robes he retrieves a tissue and hands it to me. "Clean your face" he barks, all gentleness gone from his voice.
I do so and now with the pain gone I feel so very tired. "I really wanna go to bed, sir" I say.
"I don't think so Mr Potter. You've got a lot of explaining to do. But before that, roll up your sleeves and let me check your arms"
No. No way.
And I tell him so "No"
"What do you mean 'no'? Roll up you're sleeves, Potter. Stop being difficult. I've got better things to do than fussing over you"
I just put my my hands against my chest in a protective gesture. I can't let him see the cuts there. And the scars "No, Sir…I…please…"
"Potter I've had enough of this. I need to see if your arms got injured too by your little outburst at the mirror" he says in a nasty voice. He grasps my left arm, forcing it away from my chest and then yanks up my sleeve.
Yeah, I updated the story. Unbelievable, right? I really thought about not continuing the story. I never thought that it could be THAT difficult to write fanfiction. Which only makes me appreciate the amazing story's of my favourite author's even more.
I still have some big problems with the language which can be so frustrating.
One of the biggest problems is, do you say:
He's summoning a bowl or he summons a bowl
He starts cleaning the wounds or he starts to clean the wounds ??
I really have no idea, so I just use whatever sounds right but I'm usually changing it a million times sigh
I decided to write another chapter since there are still some people who put "Shattered" to their story alert. Thanks to everyone who left a review, you have no idea how happy you made me hugs and kisses
Once again, please tell me what you liked or didn't like about this chapter. I'm not sure if I'm happy about it…but then I wasn't that happy about the first chapter either. lol
