Chapter One:

About Nine Months Earlier:

"You are correct, Counselor," Doctor Selar said discretely, snapping her medical tricorder shut, "you are with child."

Deanna Troi Rozhenko beamed at her Vulcan doctor, wishing the other woman felt at least some of her joy. She and her husband, Worf, the Enterprise-E's second officer, had been trying to get pregnant for the past six months. Now it was finally reality.

They were going to have a baby!

"Thank you, doctor," Troi replied. "How far along am I?"

"Nine weeks. Today being stardate 49469, that places your due date at roughly stardate 50319. Would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Do I? Deanna considered. Betazoids usually opted to know the sex of their unborn child to facilitate a complete emotional and psychical bond between mother and infant before birth. But would Worf want to know? Did she want to know without sharing the knowledge with her husband? "Maybe I better think about it for a while, discuss it with Worf."

"As you wish. Although I do not understand the logic in choosing not to know, it is your decision. Be sure to schedule monthly check ups with Sickbay and contact me immediately should any problem arise." Selar had been promoted to Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise-E three months ago.

"I will do that." Deanna stepped off the biobed.

"And Counselor, do not heed such nonsensical Human cliches as 'eating for two.' Logically, the embryo inside you is far smaller and requires far less nutrients than the mother. It is fortunate that our replicators will only provide nutritional foods."

"I'll remember that," Deanna replied, her thoughts already wandering to the moment she would tell her husband the news.

How would he react now that their desire for a baby was no longer fantasy, but very real? As she ventured out of sickbay and down the corridor, onto a turbolift, and toward their quarters, Deanna barely noticed her surroundings. Instead, she was planning the perfect evening, what she would wear, what she would serve for dinner, how she would tell Worf he was going to be a father.

Suddenly, she felt queasy and had to pause to lean against the corridor wall. Why was she so nervous? It's my overactive hormones kicking in, she realized. Times like this, she could use another woman's advice. Oh, I wish Beverly were still on board!

Her best friend, Dr. Beverly Crusher, had disembarked the Enterprise-E nearly three months ago to join Captain Jean-Luc Picard as his chief medical officer aboard the new Stargazer. Last she heard, they were in the Neibolu Sector, about seventy-five light years away, investigating a possible wormhole. She decided to contact Beverly through a subspace channel.

Deanna stepped into their quarters and was greeted by her twelve-year old stepson, Alexander. "You're done with school already?"

"It's past fifteen hundred hours," the boy replied. He wore his hair long, like his Father's, and now had it flowing loosely around his shoulders, his hair piece discarded on the coffee table. Studying his features, she saw the young man he was becoming . She loved Alexander as if he were her own son, and wondered how difficult it would be for their family to adjust to a newborn. Worf had never experienced the joys--and labor--of a baby. Neither had she.

"I didn't realize it was that late." She wandered around the living room aimlessly, still caught up in her revere, at first oblivious to Alex' quizzical stare. She smiled reassuringly at him.

"Alexander, could you do me a favor? Would you eat early tonight? I'd like to have a special dinner with your father."

"Sure," the boy replied. "I can work on my math homework in my room." He grinned, absolutely beaming at her, and Deanna wondered if he didn't have at least some idea as to what was going on. "Would you like any help setting things up?"

"I think that would be nice. Thank you. I just want to send a couple subspace messages and then I'll explain what I want." She couldn't wait a second longer to share this news with Beverly and her Mother. She remembered the difficulties she had had with her mother when Lwaxana first learned of her relationship with Worf, but despite the animosity between Lwaxana and the Klingon, she had come to accept that her daughter truly loved him. And she wanted grandchildren more than anything. Deanna was sure her mother would love this child unconditionally, no matter the mixed heritage.

An hour later as Deanna and Alexander were finishing a romantic setting with flowers and candles, the door swished open to admit Worf. Alexander rushed into his bedroom, pausing only briefly at the door to give his Sok'cheim a confident smile.

"What is this?" her Klingon husband asked in a tone that really asked of the occasion.

Deanna lifted the lid to the main course and toying with him said, "Andorian fowl with rallini wine sauce and noodles." She held out her hand. "Come, join me."

Worf walked over to the small table and helped his wife into her chair before sitting down himself. "It smells delicious."

Deanna served out their meals before asking Worf about his day. He did not ask why Alexander wasn't eating with them.

"Ensign Nagyua was late for his shift for the third time this week. We will never finish our monthly security check at this rate."

"What does the captain have to say about his tardiness?"

"Riker is too easy on the boy." Worf clenched his fist, barely resisting the urge to pound it on the table. He kept his anger in check for Deanna's sake. "Enough about my day. I have forgotten to ask you about yours."

"It was fairly routine, really. I counseled a few patients, took a long leisurely lunch, and then I stopped in to see Dr. Selar."

Deanna tried to sound casual, like it was all part of a normal day. To her delight, Worf took a beat before catching on.

"Dr. Selar--is anything wrong?"

"No, not really. You'll just have to pamper me for the next several months."

Her husband dropped his fork onto his plate, and for a long moment, he and Deanna stared at each other. Barely above a whisper, Worf asked, "A baby?" She nodded, and reaching out to one another, they clasped hands. Standing, Worf nearly toppled over his chair in his eagerness to embrace his wife. She lifted her head and met his lips fully. "I am not hungry for Andorian fowl," he said with a lascivious smile and lifted her into his arms.

As he carried her easily into their bedroom, Deanna wondered whether she would soon grow too heavy even for his Klingon strength. And as he laid her atop the bed sheet and began nuzzling her ear and neck, she wondered if she would still be attractive to him months from now. "Tell me you love me," she begged.

Running his hand through her hair, he studied her with deep longing, and she realized that no matter how fat or old she became, he would remain steadfastly loyal to her. "I love you," he

responded, kissing her neck. "I love you." He reached for her zipper and caressed the skin between her breasts. "I love you..."

She giggled as he slowly unzipped her uniform and ran his mouth along her body. Quickly, her resolve melted along with the removal of her clothing and she felt like she was the most beautiful

woman in the galaxy. "Take yours off, Worf." She tugged at his uniform collar. "Let me feel your skin against mine."

He lifted himself onto his knees, still keeping her straddled, and shed his uniform.

"That's much better," she said, running her fingertips across his hairy chest. "Now come to me!"

Obeying, he lingered longer this time at every erogenous zone he could find until neither of them could wait any longer for the joining. Their lovemaking was very intense, while at the same time

gentle and caring. Deanna knew that he repressed his Klingon urges for her, afraid that she was too fragile for such violent sexual practices. Yet a part of her wanted to scream out and initiate said practices... someday.

Afterward while they laid in each other's arms, Worf took in his wife's beauty in the glow of the dim light. He knew how much she wanted a baby, and she had even convinced him that he wanted one, too. Yet now that one was on the way, he couldn't quench the fear that he would fail at the challenge. Raising Alexander had been difficult enough and his son had been well beyond the baby stage when the boy came to live with him.

"What are you thinking?" Deanna asked in a lilting voice.

"That this baby will be the greatest challenge I have ever faced."

He grasped her hand firmly. "We shall face that challenge together." Worf returned her warm embrace, but inwardly, he feared he could not live up to his promise no matter how strong his

conviction.

"Data, I don't think we're going to find anything," Geordi La Forge said as he picked up yet another small piece of the Marauder to scan. "As much as I hate to admit it, I'm starting to get pretty tired and hungry."

They had been working in Docking Bay Three of the Enterprise-E since the Alpha shift began. They were now more than an hour into the Beta shift, well past their scheduled time.

Before them lay the flotsam of a Ferengi Marauder they had encountered several days ago. Thus far, they had been unable to determine the cause of its destruction. Lieutenant Reginald Barclay, having been scheduled to work the Beta shift, had joined them about an hour ago and was currently gathering up more pieces for the next scanning phase. He had offered to take over the procedure. Yet both senior officers felt reluctant to abandon the task.

"We had planned on scanning every single piece of the debris for traces of the explosive agent before delivering an end-of-shift report to the captain," the first officer replied. For a moment, La

Forge thought that his friend sounded like his old self, before the emotions chip. Then Data turned and sighed, "However, I am growing as tired of this as you are. I am sure Captain Riker would not object if we 'call it a night' as you suggest and present an incomplete report for now.."

Without any objection, Geordi shut down the scanner and tapped his commbadge. "La Forge to the captain."

"Riker here," the captain replied.

Barclay approached them at that moment, exuberant with the same excitement they had felt at the beginning of their shift, toting a load of heavy metal fragments on top of an antigrav unit. He set

them down beside the machine La Forge had just turned off and looked toward them questioningly.

"We've nearly finished the metallurgy and no luck yet," Geordi continued. "Data and I were wondering if we could let Lieutenant Barclay finish the testing."

"You've earned a break. Tomorrow at 0700, I want a meeting of all senior staff."

"Aye sir," the chief engineer replied, looking forward to relaxing in his quarters with a little classical music to soothe him to sleep. "La Forge out."

"I'll have a report ready for you before that meeting," Barclay promised. Geordi's assistant had come a long way during the years they had worked together, no longer seeming intimidated by those he worked with. Yet, his energy for overworking remained a constant.

"Thanks, Reg. I have every confidence in you."

Ah, if only he had the energy left himself, Geordi mused...to feel the excitement of a mystery.

Deanna awoke very early, eager to check her subspace messages. Ordering a hot chocolate from the replicator, she took the drink over to her desk. As she brought up the monitor, it flashed two messages. The first was from her Mother.

"Little One," Lwaxana Troi said, "you can't imagine how happy you've made me. This is what I've wanted for years, as you well know. There for a while I was concerned your husband didn't have it in him to produce my grandchild. After all, there's never been a mating between a Klingon and a Betazed. Until now." Deanna rolled her eyes. At least her Mother no longer referred to Worf as Mr. Woof. "Oh Deanna, I'm so delighted that you and Worf were able to conceive. There isn't any greater joy than bringing a child into the world. Cherish every moment. I have a few conferences I need to attend here and there, but I promise I'll come aboard the Enterprise to be with you before the baby is born. Take care, Little One. My thoughts are with you."

Deanna found some comfort in knowing that her Mother wasn't rushing to be with her. Lwaxana Troi, with all her good intentions, would have been more overly pampering than the expected father.

Maybe I'll appreciate that toward the end, Deanna decided, but right now, I'd rather Mother had her conferences to occupy her time.

The second message was very disturbing.

"Unable to transfer subspace message to its specified location," the computer droned. "Please, state further instructions."

Shocked, Deanna froze with her mouth agape. "Please, state further instructions."

Worf came up from behind her just in time to hear the computer's repeat request. He wrapped his arm gently around her neck and asked, "Why are you up so early? You need your rest."

Tilting her head sideways to look up at her husband, Deanna replied, "I sent messages to Mother and Beverly before dinner. I was a bit eager to hear their responses. Worf, Beverly's message did not reach her. What could possibly have caused it to bounce?"

She could feel his muscles tensing ever slightly around her. He tried to hide his own fears for her sake, but she could sense them.

"Computer, attempt to resend message. There is a chance that the message encountered interference en route to the Stargazer."

Deanna wanted to believe that. The alternative was unthinkable. But how long could they cling to such a remote possibility?

"Darling, let me take you back to bed," he coaxed. She nodded, and arm in arm they retreated to their room.

Data and La Forge were the last to enter the observation lounge the following morning. Geordi had only just received the final metallurgy report from a very-tired Barclay. Thanking his assistant, Geordi had then ordered him to bed. Already present were Captain Riker, Worf, Troi, Dr. Selar, and the ops officer, Lieutenant Corinne Berlitz. After they sat down, the captain addressed the group.

"Now that we're all here," Riker said, "I have news from Starfleet about the Stargazer." Tension mounted around the room as everyone feared for their former captain and chief medical officer.

Only Dr. Selar remained calm. It was moments like this that Riker hated being in command. "The ship and her crew have disappeared somewhere in the Neibolu Sector."

"They were investigating a wormhole, weren't they?" Geordi asked.

Riker nodded. "In the last message Starfleet received from Captain Picard, he spoke about moving in closer to the anomaly.

That was nearly two days ago. We must consider the possibility that the Stargazer may be trapped inside the anomaly."

"Is that the official Starfleet consensus?" Data inquired.

"Starfleet Headquarters has not released an official opinion." He neglected to admit that they had refused to give him one...as though their reluctance could somehow keep the great Jean-Luc Picard alive.

"If we are to assume that they are trapped inside this anomaly," Berlitz, a young woman with a medium build, began, "then shouldn't we also consider that maybe they have encountered something other than a wormhole? Or at the very least, a wormhole very different from any ever recorded by Starfleet?"

"Maybe a black hole of some kind," Geordi offered gloomily.

Data added, "It may be indeed a wormhole and has collapsed around the Stargazer. In either case, it would be highly unlikely that the Stargazer would ever be recovered."

"They're dead," Deanna said, visibly letting out a shudder.

Everyone turned in her direction. "Deanna, are you sensing something?" Riker asked. He trusted her instinct. How he wished he didn't now. . . .

Her husband placed his arms around her to comfort her. At one time, Riker had been extremely jealous of Worf and Deanna's relationship. Now, although he faltered a bit occasionally, he felt genuinely happy for them.

"I'm sorry," she told everyone. "I thought I did...for a moment."

She wrinkled her brow. "It's gone now." She nodded her reassurance at her husband, coaxing him to relinquish his hold on her. It wasn't a proper display during a formal staff meeting. Riker

understood Worf's concern though, even shared it, and so chose to overlook the slight infraction.

"It's just that I didn't even get a chance to tell Beverly--" Deanna fought to catch her breath-- "I'm pregnant." A brief stunned silence ensued.

"Congratulations," the captain finally said. "I know you've been wanting this for a long while."

"Thank you, Captain," Worf responded, because his wife was unable to speak through her tears.

Riker allowed the counselor a minute to calm down before he continued, again addressing the group. "The Lexington has been redirected to investigate. I'm afraid there's really nothing we can do all the way out here. We've been ordered to drop the remains of the Ferengi Marauder off at Starbase Seventeen and head out to Apollo IX to pick up a group of colonists for transport to Earth."

"Except worry, "Geordi interjected.

"Do what you can." Riker turned toward his chief medical officer. "Dr. Selar, many of our crew also worked under the command of Captain Picard. They may need help adjusting to the

news of their disappearance. Normally, I would ask Counselor Troi to handle this responsibility--"

"I can handle it," Deanna said with conviction.

"Deanna, I think it might be best if you stepped away from your duties for a few days. You need to give yourself time to grieve before you can help others."

"Logic would dictate," Dr. Selar began, "given your closeness to Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher and your empathic ability, that handling the crew's emotions would be too difficult for you at this

time. I am the next logical choice. Their feelings would not govern my actions."

Worf placed his hand gently on his wife's shoulder. "Deanna, I have never objected to your continuing on as counselor of the Enterprise, but I really think you should allow Doctor Selar to handle this situation."

"You mean because I'm pregnant!" Deanna snapped. She looked glaringly at Riker. "I don't hear you ordering Geordi or Data--or yourself--to take a few off-duty days to handle your grief."

Glancing around the table, she saw calm and reason among the senior staff. They were behaving as expected at a formal meeting.

Why was she being so irrational? She brought her hands to her face and sighed deeply. Am I losing my mind? She wondered, resolving to regain control of her rationale. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you." She looked at the group. "My apologies. Perhaps you're right. I'll transfer my responsibilities as counselor to Dr. Selar in this matter."

"I shall carry out this order to the best of my ability," Dr. Selar said.

"Good," Riker said. "Then you're all dismissed."

As they exited the lounge, Berlitz approached Deanna. "Counselor, I remember how much you helped me when I was pregnant with my son. It wasn't easy facing the prospect of raising a child without a father--and I'd just like you to know that if there's anyway I can return the favor--" Corey's husband had died during an away mission when she was six months pregnant.

"Thank you, Corey," Troi replied, "but I really don't need any help from you. I have a husband." She walked away, but Worf lagged behind.

"I am sorry for my wife's rudeness," the Klingon said. "If she were not dealing with such an incredible loss and thinking more clearly--well, I am sure she's not thinking clearly."

"No need to apologize, Commander. I understand fully."

Corinne forced a smile before returning to her console at ops.