Author's note: Thank's to everyone who reviewed or put the story on alert, it's always great to know that people are reading.
FREAKTONIGHT - I didn't mean he was dissatisfied sexually, no. And he is most definitely not going to rape her.
Hope everyone enjoys chapter 2.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and mean no harm.
"Hello Noah."
Her voice sounded soft and not quite her own, but she was too tired to care, and he was too Puck to appear to have noticed. His hands were still in his pockets, she wandered whether they were glued in there, or if someone had sewn his cuffs into the lining. She smiled before she could check herself and he looked momentarily confused.
He recovered quickly and cleared his throat.
"You're pathetic, not stupid." He said, somewhat apprehensively, looking at her pointedly, hoping that she'd remember what she'd said to him earlier and not think that he was just trying to insult her. She didn't start yelling so he guessed he'd succeeded, and her curious look told him he should probably continue with his train of thought.
"So if you're not still hoping he's gonna like, suddenly realise he can't live without you and leave Quinn at the altar holding the baby and all that shit,", she smiled again at his clumsy mixing of metaphors; sometimes she envied his casual grasp of the English language, sometimes she wanted to just sound normal. "Why'd you call it off with you and me?"
Whatever she had thought he was going to say, she was certain it hadn't been that. Though now that he'd said it she really wasn't sure what she had expected him to say, other than some variation on the same conversation they'd been almost having for weeks now.
After she had gone to him on the bleachers and told him that they wouldn't work out, he had seemed to take it upon himself to make sure that she was reminded every day that Finn didn't want her, and never would. As though he thought that if she forgot for one minute and allowed herself to believe, the world would fall down around them. And so there were looks and comments every couple of hours, just to remind her of her place, and she had expected more of the same.
But this was new. She didn't know what to do with this. So she did what she did best these days, she sighed. She deflated in front of him and leant back against the cool metal of the lockers, allowing her eyes to float back into her head as she exhaled and relishing the moment's relief before she would have to look at him again.
When she did she met his eyes, and they seemed too sharp, somehow, too green. So she looked down instead. "You want to know the truth?"
"I guess. Be kinda pointless asking if I wanted a lie."
She chuckled. And she surprised herself because she didn't really know she knew how. It was low and quiet and she thinks she quite liked it. She thinks maybe it made her sound like a regular girl and she's disappointed in herself for liking the idea that she could be a regular girl. No one ever got anywhere by blending into crowds, she knew. But she thinks maybe that's how people got happy. But that's an idea for another day, right now there's a boy and a question and an answer she can't bear.
"Remember I said that I wanted everything too much?" She looked at him again and he tilted his head in assent, he remembers, "Well, as it turns out, you're not an exception to that rule."
She's still looking at him as he takes in her answer, and he frowns, like he doesn't quite know what she means. She wills him to say something, to mock her or to sneer at her or to grab her and stamp her down. She wills him to react in anyway at all. Apparently willing doesn't work, and she wishes she believed in wishing because he's still looking at her like she's a puzzle he just can't quite work, and she hates it.
It's on the verge of becoming unbearable when he seems to make up his mind about something. He looks at her for just another beat before giving just the slightest nod and turning away. He walked down the hall and out the door and she watched him, again. She wandered briefly if she was going to spend the rest of her high school life watching him walk away and she sighs. The fact that she does is not lost on her either.
