A/N: Thank you for reading, following, favoring and especially commenting on this fic. I appreciate it immensely.

These two first chapters are very short - sort of an exposition. The real tale will begin after that.

Please tell me what you think.


Carelessness. It was pure carelessness on her part, she totally admits it. Pathetic really, after the emotional rollercoaster she'd been through in the last couple of months, you would expect her to be more careful. She promised herself, repeatedly, not to let her feelings influence her decisions anymore. Yeah right! As if any of her recent actions were the results of an actual decision making process. Where the hell is the strong and independent woman she was pretending to be all these years? Where the hell is her self control? Her rational thinking? Fuck, how could she let herself be carried away like that, again, and be swept off her feet just by seeing him there in front of her?

She just wanted to go surfing, you see? To step out of her house, and feel the Hawaiian sun on her skin again. To listen to the familiar sounds of her childhood, the blowing wind, the gushing sea and the eternal roar of the island that always runs in her veins. She just wanted to smell the ocean, to taste its salty water, after her body surrenders to its pull, to feel her muscles burn with the familiar fight against the waves, where it's only her and her board in the world. She knew the only way she could feel balanced again, after months of feeling unstable and groundless in foreign territories, would be on the big waters of her home.

()()()

She called him from Ninoy Aquino International Airport, ten hours before her flight. She had no idea what time it was over there, but when he answered the phone, and his voice was deep and soft and gentle, she realized it must be really early in the morning. She called his name a few times, simply because the feel of it on her tongue gave her more strength than she thought was possible, and it was fine actually, because there were a few tense moments at the beginning of the conversation, after she told him it's her when he didn't say anything. At the end, he was his old self again. Sounded familiar, and solid, and like he had all the answers, even to questions she couldn't even ask yet. He asked a few general questions about her location, and about Adam, which she was able to duck effortlessly, because he was kind enough not to push it too much. He was very practical, like always, and very operational, like always, and she didn't have to ask, or beg, or plead him before he brought up the subject of their team. The way he asked if she wants back in, and the small panicked edge she could sense at the end of his sentence made her almost sigh in relief. Perhaps he was relieved too, because he made sure she'll be at work on Monday, and repeated it a few more times just in case, and when she stood there, in the payphone booth, holding the speaker in both hands, she couldn't stop the tears.

()()()

She was dreaming about home almost every day, mainly about her last day there. She was dreaming about standing in the docs, looking at their faces, saying goodbye, was dreaming about Chin whispering in her ear, telling her that he trusts her, that she can do what she chooses, and taking the burden of guilt off of her. She dreamt about the big, heavy metal boat she climbed on, holding Adam's warm hand, forcefully, trying to feel connected, when every fiber of her being was being torn. She dreamt about him, about his strong arms around her, and she woke up, almost suffocating with fear, when she realized, that when they parted, he never actually let her go...

()()()

There isn't a point in time when she can say the decision was made. It just happened, gradually, and then suddenly, the distance between her and the island became too much to bare. They were moving a lot, they were hiding, and even though she thought she was prepared for anything, it was harder than anything she could imagine.

()()()

When Adam woke up, on their last day together, and saw her standing near the bed, fully dressed and ready to go, he didn't have to look for the suitcase near the door, to realize what she's about to tell him.

"You're going back" he told her, sitting up in the bed, rubbing his face.

"I have to" she whispered.

He got up, and got dressed, and when he sat down to put on his shoes, she sat beside him, and put her hand on his thigh.

"I'm sorry" she whispered "I love you."

"I know" he said quietly, kissing the top of her head. They sat there for a few long minutes, and hugged each other, without saying a word.

()()()

She told him he doesn't have to escort her out, but he insisted. He took her suitcase in one hand, and held her with the other, and when they walked out of the room, and into the elevator, he hugged her again, and kissed her, and wiped away her tears. He helped her into the cab, and gave her some money, and she wanted to say something, to apologize, to explain, to suggest that maybe one day... but at the end she had no idea what else could be said.

"Thank you, Adam" she told him, holding his arm desperately, when the car was ready to move.

"Thank you?" He laughed bitterly "for what? For stealing your life away from you?"

"No" she shook her head determinedly "for letting me go..."

He stood there at the hotel door, looking at the cab driving away, and she looked back, at his tall beautiful figure watching her for as long as he could. When she finally turned around, her face was dry, and suddenly she felt forty pounds lighter.

()()()

Chin was there, when she landed in Hawaii international airport. She laughed when she saw him, dressed in one of his usual outrageous shirts. She was drowning in hugs and kisses from him and from a few other cousins, and he put a lei on her neck, and took her suitcase from her hand, and she thinks it's the first time she'd seen him smiling like that since he lost Malia. When they got to the parking lot, her beautiful car was waiting there for her, squeaky clean, with the tank full of gas.

()()()

Being in her house was good. Chin and she spent the day opening windows, washing dishes and doing laundry. It was easy, and quiet, and exhausting.

On Sunday, Danny came over with Grace and some Coco Puffs. The house was bright suddenly, and full of laughter. Danny told her about Gabby, and forced Chin to tell her about his own new and slow motion love life, and while Grace told her stories about the island, the boys gave her an update about their ongoing case.

()()()

"How is he?" she asked Danny when they stood in the kitchen clearing the dishes.

"He's… he's quiet." He told her simply.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, Kono. If he was fine, he would be here, but I think… I really think I shouldn't talk in his name."

She looked at him startled. When Steve didn't show up with the boys in the morning, she wasn't even surprised. Somehow, she knew he wouldn't come. Knew that he'd let her find her center first, before showing up. The fact that Danny refused to talk about him, as well as the worried look in his eyes… She spent the rest of the day worried out of her mind.

()()()

She thinks it was the longest weekend of her life. The fact that she survived to see Monday morning without losing her mind is no less than a miracle. She wakes up early in the morning, to go to her morning surf, and she's not even surprised when she opens the door, to see him standing there in front of her.

She just wanted to go surfing, you see? To step out of her house, and feel the Hawaiian sun on her skin again. To listen to the familiar sounds of her childhood, the blowing wind, the gushing sea and the eternal roar of the island that always runs in her veins. She just wanted to smell the ocean, to taste its salty water, after her body surrenders to its pull, to feel her muscles burn with the familiar fight against the waves, where it's only her and her board in the world. She knew the only way she could feel balanced again, after months of feeling unstable and groundless in foreign territories, would be on the big waters of her home. She doesn't mean to run straight towards him, the minute she sees him.

()()()

When she steps outside, she spots him immediately standing there in front of her. He looks like he was running, all breathless and sweaty, and his image takes her breath away. It takes her a second or two to recover, and to walk towards him decisively, then to run, then to crash into his muscular, solid, warm body, and to hold him for dear life.

"I'm all sweaty" he mumbles, holding her forcefully, burying his face in her shoulder.

She just laughs, quietly, at his sweet insecurity. She holds him against her even tighter, and suddenly, she really is home.