When the light touch first brushed against his nose, Cullen just grunted. When the second one rubbed against his cheek, a little smile came to his lips. "Hmm?" he managed, though his eyes remained closed. When the third graced his lips, his brow furrowed. Lavellan's wake up kisses usually weren't so... furry.
When the soft sensation suddenly turned into a sharp nip made by sharp teeth, he yelped and jerked awake, only then remembering that Lavellan and her chosen crew had hared off on yet another task somewhere in Crestwood to meet with the Champion of Kirkwall and some mysterious Warden friend of his. He had to blink a few times before the curious little face in front of his came into focus, and he smiled. "Good morning, Tiny. Is it that time already?"
The little tawny kitten emitted a loud, high-pitched meow, letting him know it was definitely time to get out of bed. Why, the sun had been up for almost an hour already!
Cullen groaned, then grabbed the kitten with one hand and pulled it closer, snuggling it against his neck as he sat up and stretched with one hand. "You're even better than the patrols for calling the time," he muttered to the little bundle of fur, eliciting another meow. "All right, all right, I'm getting up! Keep your fur on."
Making various noises generally associated with a very reluctant rousing, Cullen scooted to the end of the bed and spent the next few minutes puttering around and getting dressed. Tiny never ventured very far, hopping between his shoulder, the mattress, and the small of Cullen's back depending on his human's position at any particular moment. When the great fur cloak was taken from its stand and swept over his shoulders, the kitten meowed in a long, loud fashion and eagerly climbed Cullen until he reached one of the warrior's furred shoulders. As Cullen waited patiently with a smile on his face, Tiny kneaded the soft fur a few times before finally turning in a circle and settling down onto his favorite bed, his purr as indecorous and delightful as only a kitten could manage.
That raucous purr accompanied Cullen as he climbed down the ladder, checked for any messages that might have gotten dropped off in the night, and quickly brushed his teeth with one of the cinnamon twigs from the supply in his desk. Then he headed out to begin his day.
After a bracing breakfast of eggs, cheese and potatoes for himself and mountain-stream trout for Tiny, he spent a good hour with the men, walking up and down their ranks critiquing, praising, and occasionally pausing so a soldier could greet Tiny with a scratch to the head. Tiny, who by now was inured to the clash of blades and the thump of swords against shields, spent most of the time with eyes closed and the tip of his tail over his nose, purring contentedly.
When the hour had passed, and the bath dispensed with to Tiny's perpetual horror, he made his way to Josephine's office and sank into the chair across from her desk.
Jospehine quickly reached into her desk and pulled out a ragged quill, tossing it onto the desk as Tiny stood and stretched, his little spine rising into a perfect arc. "Make sure he plays with that one," she reminded Cullen as Tiny leapt from Cullen's shoulder to knee, and from there to the desk.
Cullen chuckled. "As if I'd forget after what happened last time," he noted. Quickly he grabbed the ragged quill and twitched it above Tiny's head a few times, then dropped it down. The kitten immediately wrapped himself bodily around it and began to kick it ferociously with his back feet, growling in an astonishingly cute manner. "There. We have a few minutes."
"Very good, Commander. Something... has come up."
Uh oh. "That doesn't sound good," Cullen observed with a frown, then saw the faint tinge of amusement in Josephine's expression, and suddenly just knew. "Let me guess. Sutherland."
"Sutherland and Company," Josephine reminded him parsimoniously with a sweep of her quill.
Cullen snorted. "He has one person reporting to him, and suddenly it's a company. All right, what is it this time?" He wasn't quite ready to admit it yet, but Sutherland had proven useful in getting rid of those brigands without having to waste Inquisition resources on it.
"A situation similar to the last one, with a minor twist." Josephine held up a letter written in a rough hand which was obviously not her elegant script. "A request has come in that we send Inquisition forces to deal with bandits, but there are indications that the so-called 'bandits' might have been Leliana's agents."
Nodding in understanding, Cullen said, "Ah, I see. So if we do send Inquisition forces-"
"-and they come out empty-handed, it will make us look bad. Obviously, however, if they are, in fact, Leliana's agents, then we want whoever we send to come up empty-handed. Thus..." Her voice trailed away as she looked at Cullen expectantly.
He made a get on with it gestured. "Yes, yes, if we send 'allies', any failure will be on them, and not upon the Inquisition."
"Very good, Commander. You might learn diplomacy yet," Josephine said, pleased, as she set the paper in her hand aside and focused for a moment on other papers on the desk for a moment.
"I wouldn't count on it," Cullen muttered under his breath. 'Diplomacy' seemed to him just a way to faff about and avoid just taking care of the problem in a straightforward manner.
"What was that?" she asked, looking up.
He straightened in his chair. "Nothing."
Luckily at that exact moment, Tiny, who had, it seemed, managed to terrorize the quill into submission, accidentally rolled off the desk, eyes widening for a split second the moment before he disappeared from Josephine's view with a startled Mrowr!
"Will he be all right?" she asked, standing and coming around the desk to look anxiously at where Tiny sat shaking his head vigorously.
"He'll be fine," Cullen assured her. "He's fallen off of my desk a few times and is no worse for the wear."
Indeed, when Josephine made an attempt to lean down and grab him, Tiny simply scuttled under her desk, then meowed questioningly before a telltale raucous rumble emerged from underneath the desk. With a shrug, Jospehine settled herself to lean against it and crossed her arms as she looked pointedly at Cullen, eyebrow raised and mien mirthful. "He's not the only thing to have fallen off your desk, from what I've heard."
Cullen's ears heated. Maker's breath. Jim. It had to be. He'd walked in on them once while Cullen had Lavellan pinned onto- "That's not important right now," he snapped. "What more can you tell me about this Sutherland business?"
Josephine's control of her smirk was admirable as she said, "I have crafted a response for Sutherland to convey to the Orlesian Baron in question. It is a minor task but with the potential to foster good will, and even the most minor of lords can raise major fusses if not treated as they think they are owed."
"Don't remind me," Cullen groaned. They'd had a few run-ins with those kinds of lords, with very mixed results when it came to the Inquisition's reputation. "Best not to rile him if we can avoid it." He held out his hand expectantly. "Give me the letter. I'll deliver it to Sutherland when I give him the assignment."
Josephine nodded and turned to take it from her immaculate desk, but froze and gasped, her face going white. "Oh, no!"
Starting to his feet in unconscious response to her distress, Cullen's eyes fell on what she was looking at, and he began to laugh helplessly. On the letter which she had obviously intended to send with Sutherland, a delicate tracery of tiny black pawprints had mysteriously worked their way down one side and up the other, with a couple of prints near the bottom of the page where a seal should have been for good measure. "It sseems someone got adventurous," he admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I take it that's the letter you wanted me to give to Sutherland?"
Josephine glared daggers as a little bundle of fur bolted from underneath the desk and ran to hide in the distant corner of the room. "Yes, and it will take some time to craft again. The lord Baron's influence may be minor, but his ego is not."
Cullen just rolled his eyes and stood, reaching over to take the paper regardless of Josephine's preference. "Then it's not officially from the Inquisition, is it?"
Pausing in the act of reaching out to take the paper, Josephine said, "Well... no, it was intended to be from 'Sutherland and Company' but-"
"But nothing. It's fine. Sutherland's always ready to leave on a mission at the drop of a hat, so I'll go ahead and send him out with this." He paused to pick up the 'play' quill and held it out to Josephine. "Looks like he snapped this one, too. Better find a new toy. That ink apparently is too tempting to dip his paws into."
Josephine scowled and muttered under her breath as she took a kerchief from her sleeve and began to scour the inky pawprints from the rest of her desk. "At least he did not walk on any actual Inquisition papers."
"Yes, good. See you later then?" he said with a chuckle as he turned and walked out of the room. The familiar sudden weight and sharp claws working up his clothes was so familiar by now that he barely noticed as Tiny settled onto his shoulder. "You're lucky that fur is already black," he murmured to the furball as he walked to the tavern.
Tiny just meowed, then settled down for a good, solid purr.
A week later, he was summoned back to Josephine's office, a trip he took with some trepidation, since the message had specifically requested Tiny's presence. When he entered the large room, he found Sutherland standing to attention in front of Josephine's desk, though as Cullen approached, the young soldier turned and saluted.
"Commander Cullen, ser!"
"Sutherland," Cullen said with a nod. "At ease."
"Yesser, ser!" Sutherland said, then paused. "I mean Commander."
"Report. Was the mission a success?" Cullen asked as Tiny climbed down his side and moved over to sniff boldly at Sutherland's shoes.
"Uh..." Sutherland glanced at Josephine.
"They did not find any bandits, Commander," Josephine said. "However, when the lord Baron saw the letter of introduction, he was so amused that he decided to openly declare himself as a supporter of the Inquisition."
Cullen suddenly grinned. "It was the pawprints, wasn't it?"
Josephine sighed. "Yes, very well, it was the pawprints. Apparently the Baron's daughter has a kitten, and once she saw the letter, she insisted that the Baron 'be friends with the Inquisition."
'Well, she actually said fwiends," Sutherland noted.
Turning his attention to the young soldier, Cullen raised an eyebrow. "How old is said daughter?"
"Ten," Sutherland admitted.
Cullen chuckled and glanced down, then looked around the room when he couldn't find Tiny immediately. "Well, I'm glad that worked out so splendidly. I presume you'll have a full report on my desk in the morning."
"Yes, ser, Commander, ser!" Sutherland said.
"Good. Dismissed," Cullen said with a nod.
After ripping an overly enthusiastic salute, Sutherland walked - well, marched was actually a more accurate descriptor - from the room, chest swelled with the pride of bringing home another win for the Inquisition.
"Not quite where I expected this mission to go, but I'll take a win where we can get them," Cullen said as he completed a turn to look for Tiny. "So it wasn't a complete disaster like you feared, was it?" When there was no immediate answer, he turned to Josephine. "I said-"
He stopped and stared at what he found.
"You will have to learn how to keep your paw straight before touching the paper," Josephine told Tiny. "That last letter was quite a bit smudged in some places."
Tiny looked up at Josephine and meowed, then rubbed his head against her arm.
"This is no laughing matter, Tiny," Josephine admonished the kitten. "If we are to capitalize on this, you must learn how to consistently make the same imprint. Is that understood?"
Turning his head so it was almost upside down, Tiny meowed again, though the sound turned into a purr halfway through as he bumped his head against her chest.
"That means he wants you to pet him while you talk," Cullen told Josephine.
"I know what it means, Commander," she said, glancing up at Cullen. "Haven't you ever negotiated with him? It is no wonder that he has the run of your life and Skyhold. Even cats can negotiate."
Cullen just laughed as he sat down in the chair across from Josephine. "Don't let me interrupt such important negotiations, then. Pray, continue."
Josephine nodded and looked back down at the kitten. "Now, I would appreciate it if- No, batting at my face is not going to get you- I said stop- No, don't think for a moment that nudging your head against my chin will work either." Josephine nevertheless couldn't help but smile, even as she tried to admonish the small creature.
Cullen put his hands behind his head as he watched the scene, until it became clear that the 'negotiations' were clearly in Tiny's favor. "Ah, Ambassador," he said gently, "I do have other work to do."
"Surely he can stay here for the day?" Josephine asked, looking up at Cullen.
It took all of Cullen's formidable willpower not to laugh. How Tiny had gotten a perfect little black pawprint on her cheek, he would never know, but he was just grateful that Josephine didn't have a mirror in her office. "It's also his lunchtime. I'd better take him down to the kitchens."
She sighed, then stood and held Tiny out to Cullen. "Very well. But I expect him to attend our meetings from now on. That Baron is not the only one with impressionable young children. Whimsy does have its place in some negotiations."
"Anything you say, Ambassador." Taking Tiny, he settled the kitten onto his shoulder. "See you tomorrow?"
"Of course, Commander." Josephine raised her hand and gave a little wave to Tiny, then quickly lowered and looked embarrassed. "Ah, yes, well. Good day, Commander." Sitting down, she quickly returned to work, still oblivious to the pawprint on her cheek.
After they left the room, Cullen said, "The tiniest Lion, and now the tiniest Ambassador. You're going to be quite formidable when you grow older."
Tiny meowed loudly, then kneaded his paws in Cullen's fur before turning in a circle and settling down. His mouth stretched in a wide yawn, and then the raucous purr filled the air around Cullen again.
Chuckling, Cullen murmured, "Very formidable."
