The long awaited chapter 2!!! Well, unfortunetly its not the completed chapter...only the first part, which i decided to write in a flashback. The second part is currently being written, and while i would have loved to update them together, you guys won the game!!! i actually recieved 12 reviews in less then 24 hours, and 140 people have read it, much more then i was exspecting. before we begin, i just want to thank all of you who reviewed and gave my story a chance. so now..on with the chapter!!!!


Broken Promises

Chapter 2-Part 1: Memories

EPOV

(Flashback)

I truly hate myself. Why am I still here? I feel as if I am rotting away what I left of my pointless existence. But I know I must never return. No matter how desperately I yearn to go back, to see her. As much as the memories hurt, I let my thoughts drift back to the time when I was with Bella. A happier time when I felt more complete. When everything felt right. But who am I to complain? I'm the one who left. And after all, isn't this what I wanted?

No. No, of course not. This is what I had wanted for Bella. She deserved a life without me and without the trespass of danger that followed with my presence. It would be an understatement to say that I missed her. For I craved her more and more each day, down to the very core of my essence. Every day I prayed to whatever God was out there, that somehow, he would bring me back to my Bella. And, if by some miracle, he were to grant my wish, I would eternally (in the literal sense) be in his debt.

Maybe there had been some other way. Was there some fact I had over-looked while making decision to leave? But there wasn't and I knew it. Nonetheless, my own sacrifice was nothing compared to Bella's well-being. She was far better off in life without a bloodthirsty vampire as a boyfriend. I knew she would go on; there was no doubt in my mind about it.

Perhaps she would meet a mortal boy. They would share human experiences like dating, marriage, children, and eventually grow old...together. Something that I would never have with Bella. For I was incapable to give it to her.

What was I thinking anyway! I'm a monster and she is an angel. How could the two of us coexist together for as long as we did?

Dammit! She had even wanted to become one of us! In truth, it was something I had fantasized many nights as I watched her sleep. I had envisioned an eternity with her. I would ask her to marry me. Yes, that was something I was physically capable of, and I desired it more then anything.

But the reality was that I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't damn her. Yet another reason why leaving was the best choice.

'Where the hell am I again?' I had lost track of all the different cities I had traveled to in hopes for a "distraction." But the agony was too much, too powerful. My weakness was unquestionable, my pain too forceful. I crumbled within the first day. The first couple of hours were utterly unbearable. I couldn't understand how she could possibly believe those lies. It was ineffable; and god was it excruciating. In some vain wish I had hoped that in the succeeding weeks that pain would begin to subside.

I realized quite quickly that it was never going to happen.

I eventually just gave up, which is exactly how I ended up in this black abyss. I purposely made sure that there was no light, for I wanted absolute darkness. I was going to torture myself with my own love. It wasn't enough that I had lost love and suffered. I wanted to be reminded of that loss. So, as I cringed in the corner of the lightless attic, which I was currently residing, I let myself drown in the memories with Bella...

That first day in which I had almost taken her life in the middle of the classroom. Bella as my biology partner. Saving her from Tyler's van. The first night Bella said my name as she slept. So many days and nights with Bella, getting to know her, and letting her fully know who I was; what I was.

Declaring by feelings for Bella in the meadow. Her fingers delicately tracing the contours of my cold, sparkling skin under the sunlight.

The feeling I received when I realized how deeply I had fallen in love with her.

Of course we had also undertaken darker times together. Such as the time we had separated in order to keep her safe from James while he tracked her. A deep cry of anguish escaped my lips as I recalled the moment that I thought I had lost her forever in the ballet studio.

Then there was the unimaginable craving for her hot, thick blood. The way it rapidly cascaded down my throat in all its richness. I was under its spell, its power. The sweetness devoured every bit of my control. My fingers would linger softly on her throat, as my mouth attached itself to her neck in an almost sensual way, unwilling to ever let go. Floating in a cloud of pure, warm ecstasy...

'Stop it!' No, no, no. That was not how I wanted to remember Bella and I. My love for her was stronger then my thirst.

I was a wretched fool; I spineless coward. The true definition of the word monster.

"Screw it." I had had enough of this. Once I popped the seal of the window open, I was making my way to my car. The road was hardly visible through the heavy downpour. If I had possessed human eyes, it would be impossible to drive in. Starting the ignition, the engine of my Volvo purred to life, and began sloshing through the flooded streets.

The rest of my drive was a blur; I had fallen into autopilot. My more sensible side was arguing with some other half of me, screaming to turn around. I chose not to comply, but the two halves of my conscience continued to quarrel. But I was too far gone, and as my gaze flickered from the road to the clock on my dashboard, I accelerated, anxious to return to the one person on earth that held my heart.

(End of Flashback)


Well there you have it! Hope it was all to your liking. The second part, which will start off right where chapter one left off(i promise!!) will be updated tomorrow! and now i believe it is game time...

Ready! Set! Review!!!!!