"You didn't have to kill the doctor, puddin'," said Harley at last. They were sitting in the car, driving back from the hospital, and hadn't spoken a word since leaving twenty minutes ago. "It wasn't his fault I'm not…"

"He could have seen to us quicker," interrupted Joker, eyes fixed on the road. "I hate waiting. Especially in hospitals. Those places give me the creeps. Sterile, white walls, full of sterile people in white coats – enough to drive a guy crazy."

"Well, guess it was a good result, then," said Harley, forcing a smile. "You'd have had to be in and out of hospitals a lot if I had been…"

She trailed off again, and there was silence. Harley gently lay a hand on her stomach, which only a short time ago she believed had contained a precious miracle, a new hope for the future that would change their lives in amazing ways. But which she now knew contained nothing. Well, the same as usual, anyway. And now her life would go back to being the same as usual. Not that she minded that, she was happy. But she had hoped to be even happier.

"I know you're disappointed, Harley," murmured Joker, quietly.

She shook her head. "Nah. Not really. Pain in the ass, childbirth, or so I hear. Probably better off not having to deal with that. And I still got you, puddin', and that makes me happy," she said, putting her hand on his knee. "Who needs a baby when I got my precious puddin'? You're already enough of a handful on your own," she added with a grin.

He didn't respond. "Are you disappointed?" she asked, gently.

"No," he retorted. "I didn't even want the kid at first, remember?"

"Yeah, but then you changed your mind," she replied. "You seemed really excited about it. I'm sorry that I got your hopes up for no reason. But I really thought I was."

He shrugged. "Honest mistake, kid, don't worry about it."

She was quiet again. "Y'know, Mr. J, if you did want…kids…we could, I mean…I could get pregnant on purpose. Stop taking my pill and stuff. If you wanted."

He shook his head. "Nah. Joke's over, Harley."

She nodded. "Ok," she whispered, turning away.

She tried to conceal her disappointment by looking out the window. "It's just…I wouldn't want you getting fat, Harl," said Joker at last.

"Sure, Mr. J, I get it," she replied, quietly.

"And I'd have to go nine months without hitting you," he continued. "Not actually sure I could do that, pooh. I'd really miss being able to beat you, y'know?"

"Yeah?" she asked, turning to face him and smiling. "You mean that?"

"Course I do, pumpkin pie," he replied. "I couldn't be happy if I couldn't pound my Harley girl. Beating up Bats just isn't the same."

"Really, Mr. J?" she whispered.

"Well, yeah, he usually wins!" laughed Joker. "But honestly, pooh, you're really valuable to me in that way. My perfect little punching bag."

"I'm…valuable to you, Mr. J?" she breathed. "You're not just saying this because I'm not pregnant, are you?"

"No, I mean it, pooh bear," he replied.

She beamed. "I love you, Mr. J," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Anyway, you'd be a crap mother, Harley," he continued. "You're good with housework and stuff, I guess, but you're a lousy cook. And you can be such a ditz. You'd probably leave the kid somewhere and lose him."

"Yeah, well you'd be a crap father," she retorted. "You probably would stay out with Bats all night and leave me to look after the kid. And you'd probably poison him or something, as a joke, and end up killing him."

"He'd probably already be poisoned by your cooking," he retorted.

"I ain't ever poisoned you," retorted Harley. "But keep complaining about my cooking and you never know. I might slip some arsenic in there."

He grinned. "That's my girl," he said, kissing her cheek. "So, now that you're not pregnant, you wanna go raid the Central Bank? We might find something pretty for you in the vault to cheer you up. And Batsy might show up and we can beat the crap out of him. How does that sound, baby?"

"I don't have my hammer," sighed Harley.

He reached into the backseat and handed it to her. "Brought it along just in case," he said.

"Aw, puddin', you think of everything!" sighed Harley, adoringly. "Yeah, let's go, baby. Clobbering some people is just what I need right now to make me feel better."

"Couldn't do it if you were pregnant," he reminded her. "So you see? Every cloud has a silver lining. The important thing is to just keep smiling."

Harley beamed at him. "Don't worry, Mr. J," she said, kissing him. "As long as I have you, I ain't ever gonna stop doing that."