1 year later

the funeral was short, not many people showed up, but we didn't really know many people, so that made sense. I'm back in my home town, wishing I was living back in Paris, or Canada, or Thailand or any other place I have lived, but I cant, I promised her I would never leave again, no matter how much I hate it here, no matter how lonely I feel, I have to stick it out, for her, for my mum.

I still cant believe she is dead, it all happened to quickly, one day I was planning a trip to mount Everest, and the next I'm getting a phone call off a police officer, informing me that there had been a accident back at home, that my mothers car had been run off the rode by some dick head who didn't even care enough to stop and see if my mother was okay, he just drove off, left her there for dead.
I miss her so much, I remember how we used to go to the fields and pick wild flowers and how she used to braid them into my hair, and how we used to paint the living room a different colour every year because we need something in our lives to change, and how she used to take me for walks in the wood, and used to joke about seeing narnians hiding form me, I used to believe her to, that there was another world out there, it used to make her happy when we went for walks. I promise mum, that I will go for a walk in the woods again soon, I promise.

its been 2 months since the funeral and people have been stopping by, giving me there condolences, asking me if i needed anything, but the only thing I needed was something they couldn't give me, to stop feeling completely lost and alone. my old friend tom stopped by a few times and asked me about my travels, its nice to have a distraction from what's happened and to talk about all the amazing things I have seen and done, but even tom cant stop me from feeling lonely all the time.

I still have,t been for a walk in the woods, but I will as soon as I can get tom off my back, he's seems to never leave me out of his sights, and he's always hugging me, I dont, know what to do.

tom said that he loved me today, I think I love him to, I enjoy his company and he is always there for me, no matter what happens. he took me on a date to the cinema and she held my hand and even kissed me, I didnt know haw to react so I just stood there, but it was still nice. I think I am falling for him, I think my mum would aprove of him to, hes a gentle man, and my mum said that if I should marry any one it should be a gentleman, becuase they know how to treat a lady.