I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I do not one the song "Ask Me Why" by The Beatles either.

Chapter Inspiration:

Stay by Safetysuit

Meant to Live by Switchfoot

Oxygen by Living Things

Chapter Two: Driving and Dreams

Driving was getting to her mind.

Everywhere she looked she saw his frowning face. Everything she heard made her think of his music. Every time she took a breath she smelled his honey sweet scent.

Shit, she cursed mentally. The tears seeped from her eyes again but by this time, she had learned enough to know they weren't going to stop until all of the water was drained from her body.

She groaned. That was the word for how she felt. Drained. She was tired and sick and just… lifeless.

Her hands slammed against the steering wheel in frustration. Bella had never felt so low in her life. She wanted to go back to Forks and talk to him and kiss him and tell him how sorry she was. She was so sorry that she wasn't strong enough. That she wasn't good enough for him. But deep down, she knew that nothing good would come of that.

This wasn't her fault. But only a diminutive part of her mind believed that.

She couldn't drive any longer. She took an unstable breath as she pulled off the freeway into a random town in southern Oregon. After a little over eight hours, she was done for the day. She towed into the small town. It reminded her of home.

She again cursed herself for thinking of Forks. The sign in the small town read "Myrtle Creek." She got a room at the Rose Motel and sighed at the smoky scent of the room. For some strange reason, it helped her relax; reminding her of Charlie's youthful years when he used to smoke cigars with Billy and Harry. After Harry's heart attack and death, Charlie stopped smoking. That didn't stop his drinking though.

She relaxed on the slightly uncomfortable bed, curling up to the pillows. Bella felt at ease now that she wasn't on the road. She didn't bother taking off her secondhand sweatpants or Charlie's old flannel shirt, instead crawling beneath the covers and praying for a good night's sleep.

She didn't succumb quickly but when she did her dreams weren't filled with the flowers and sunsets she'd hoped for. She dreamed of her past. Her failed marriage, everything that she had craved. She longed for his arms and his husky words. She wanted his smile and his eyes to smolder into her own.

Her dreams were only showed her with him, showed their desperate love for each other.

"Bella," he murmured against the skin of her stomach.

She smiled at him, running her fingers through his soft hair. She felt his grin and she hummed in satisfaction.

"Will you sing to me?" Bella whispered to him as she continued to play with his locks.

"What would you like to hear?"he asked without moving from his spot against her.

"Anything," she replied.

"I love you, 'cause you tell me things I want to know.
And it's true that it really only goes to show,
That I know,
That I, I, I, I should never, never, never be blue.

Now you're mine, my happiness still makes me cry.
And in time, you'll understand the reason why,
If I cry,
It's not because I'm sad, but you're the only love that I've ever had.

I can't believe it's happened to me
I can't conceive of any more misery.

Ask me why, I'll say I love you,
And I'm always thinking of you.

I love you, 'cause you tell me things I want to know.
And it's true that it really only goes to show,
That I know,
That I, I, I, I should never, never, never be blue.

Ask me why, I'll say I love you,
And I'm always thinking of you.

I can't believe it's happened to me.
I can't conceive of any more misery."

His voice was melodic as it always was but the words were more than words. To anyone else, he would've just been singing but Bella knew, she knew then. She could hear the regret, the worry. It was like that in the end.

Bella was startled at the light knocking of her room's door. She quickly jumped out of bed to answer it.

"Hello?" she smiled uneasily at the old woman who was standing in her doorway.

"Are you alright dear?" the woman asked sympathetically.

Bella nodded and wiped at the crust on her face that was brought on by her dried tears. "Fine, I'm sorry, was I calling out?" she felt her usual blush heat her face.

The old woman smiled sadly at her while nodding. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, deary. Would you like a cup of tea before going back to sleep?"

She shook her head in response. "Thank you but I want to try and get a little more rest before getting on the road in the morning. I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

The old woman patted Bella's arm lightly. "No, no. You didn't disturb me. Now, go get some rest."

"Good night," Bella whispered.

"Good night, dear."

Bella closed the door silently then leaned against it, greedily taking in deep breaths of the now muggy air. Her arms curled around her midsection as the pain began. She moaned and let the hushed tears fall. She hated herself now. She was so pitiful.

It took all Bella had to get back into the bed. She pulled her legs to her chest and wept for what was missing. Not only was the man she loved far from her, but so was her heart. The harsh ache in her chest would never let her forget that. Every time she felt closer to relief, it hit like a wrecking ball in the stomach.

"Trust me, Bella. No one will ever be able to captivate my heart like you do."

She felt herself begin to shake with new sobs. She needed him, badly. It wasn't healthy and she knew that, she had always known that. That was how their relationship was. Her need for him was like an addict's need for their stash. She would never be able to resist him because she knew it wasn't worth the long process of rehab. Life wasn't worth anything if he wasn't with her.

*

He lay in bed, questioning himself. His palms held a large bottle of vodka.

She was all he ever knew. Her silky brown hair. Her chocolate doe eyes. Her pale flesh, always warm beneath his fingers. Her moans and whimpers as he'd touched her delicate body. Her smile as he'd whisper to her. Her full, pink lips forming the words he'd been so frantic to hear. The taste of her skin.

He took another swig and grimaced at the strong taste of the burning liquid. This was just like him, drowning himself in alcohol. He wouldn't let reality sink it, he was always away. Away from the shithole that had filled his whole life. Away from his family with their pity stares. Away from his town where they spoke about his life as if it was the greatest tragedy. Away from every reminder of Bella. This was is world, ever since that day. That one fucking day that ruined everything for them.

No, he'd let it ruin everything for them. She had been so desperate for his attention afterwards. She'd begged for his help, for his arms to build a castle around her. Bella, his beautiful Bella had asked for him just to be with her but he could. He didn't know how to tell her that he needed help for himself, that he was just as broken as she was. That she wasn't the weak one. He was the weak one, he had let it get so far under his skin that he'd forfeit their relationship so that he could just forget. How naïve he truly was to believe that even with her gone that he'd be able to forget. He would never forget, he couldn't forget but he was terrified to remember.

There love was hopeless and hurtful.

Yet, she was all he ever thought about. And he didn't want to change that. He was such a fucking masochist.

AN:

I found this second part as I was cleaning out my documents folder. I'm pretty sure that I have two more chapters save on my computer somewhere… so as I work on StF, you can have this.

Oh, and for Esme ROX, my mom took me hiking at Hocking Hills.

*Still looking for a beta.

Emolaaay