The Endless Summer?
Chapter Two : Week One; Denial, Shock & False Hope
I had started to go through the seven stages of heart break. The first stage being Denial.
He still wants me. I told myself. He will always want me. He loves me. I repeated to myself.
Denial was the worst part. You try and try to convince yourself that he will come back to you. That no matter what the world has thrown at us we will find a way through this. And unfortunately you're successful. Every time your phone rings, you convince yourself that its him. Every time theres a knock at the door, your brain come to the conclusion; it must be him. No it is him. Then you feel so deflated when it's not.
Shock is a sub-category of this stage. Complete and utter shock. Your body goes into shock and shuts-down from everything. Shock that the person that you gave your whole heart to completely shattered it and didn't even care. Just shock.
Another sub-category of this stage is remembrance. Remembrance is the part of this that makes it so hard to deal with and reinforces the denial. Remembrance is the part of it that takes over your entire being. But you only ever remember the good things between. No. You don't remember any of the terrible shit he put you through. You just remember the stolen glances. The whispered I love you's. The unexpected body touches. The hand he puts on the small of your back as he guides you into a small, secluded restaurant. The hand he rests on your thigh, as he laughs, looking into your eye, making you feel as though your looking straight into his soul. The sparkle as he laughs his genuine laugh. The look on his face as he is completely engrossed in a film. The smile on his face as he squirts chocolate sauce on to your white top.
This all leads to false hope. False hope is what sends you over the edge. False hope is that one that makes you think that you and who you think is your one true love will be able to with stand anything. False hope is the downfall to everyone. This is the wrong kind of hope. This is the hope that makes you believe that no matter what evil there is that forces you two apart you will always find a way back to each other.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon and Austin and I was sitting on my balcony, on the little couch out there, he was sitting normally on the couch, while I had my back against the arm and my legs stretched out into his lap, we was watching the sunset between the trees. He was running a a feather touch finger up and down the length of my calf. I was animately watching the sunset, fascinated by all the different colours mixed to one sunset, red and oranges, pinks and yellows, of all kinds of shades. I could feel him staring at me. I could feel his eyes roam all over my face, lingering slightly on my eyes, before settling on my lips. He gently leaned over to me, getting closer and closer to my lips, I could feel my lips start to pucker, but at the last minute he moved his head up and kissed my nose. I pouted.
'Why are you teasing me?' I asked indignantly.
'Beacause I like to know I have an effect on you. I like to know I have this power over you.' he replied simply.
'please' I pleaded.
He lent back over and kissed me sweetly on the lips. We spent the rest of that night out on the balcony, cuddled together as we watched the sun go down and we stayed entangled in eachother for the rest of that night. We eventually fell asleep together on the balcony. Only waking up when the sun broke the sky, like our own timed light.
A/N
Hey guys, another update, i'm on a roll with this and I like where its going, anyway, I hope you like it, I actually like this chapter, a bit longer than last time not much, but a little bit, anyway, read and review please! I love hearing your opinions!
